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A close person of mines ex spread rumors about him raping her after they broke up. She was a weird girl and you could tell she had big problems. She abused him mentally and did many things like sent him pictures of her having other guys hands on her and stuff to him after they broke up the first time. She also stole stuff from stores when shopping with this guy and his family. This girl even hangout with this guy guy she was accusing after she accused him I think but I’m not sure. This guy is so close to me and I don’t wanna see him as a rapist. I think that my OCD is maybe in the picture here because when I first heard of this I just thought that this girl was trying to destroy this guy by accusing him/ spreading rumors. At that time I had false memory ocd and when my false memory ocd just got better it jumped to me doubting this situation instead. What should I do?

Locna

Date posted: 2y

I understand the urge but it's a compulsion. It's close to home as well so just like with law, you have to remain nuetral. The fact of the matter is, when your dealing with a separate individual from yourself, you can never be certain they are telling the truth. Recently I had an RocD episode and I started thinking my partner was entertaining others at work or on his free time. There are gaps in his timeline and he searched up liquor at work and other factors that led me to this conclusion. He said he wasn't and gave me some excuse I didn't really believe. Now can I just say he's lying? Sure but then how do I really know that he is? I don't. I could find out but what if it leads to nothing? Finding out would put me in a minor predicament as well so i'de rather let it be. That being said I feel vulnerable. I feel unhappy with the lies and I'm terribly sad. That's okay. These hurt feelings are normal. I wish I could mind meld with him and see the truth but ultimately I'll never know. Where do I go from here? I stay vigilant and I stopped giving into impulses that had me monitoring his messages and such. I stopped that because it led to more pain. I refused to allow my OCD to teach me bad behaviors for any future romance. I refuse to be a person who can't trust a loved one. Most importantly I see the reality. The reality is my partner deflects and no I don't trust him because he has lied many times and rightfully so. Will we get past this? Maybe but maybe not. Time will tell, for now I'm finishing school. I have a goal I'm working towards and I'm putting my energy into that. If you want to let your brother heal, get a goal and work towards it. It's his life and his situation, leave it to him.

Locna

Date posted: 2y

It's always hard to know if these things happened. After all you were not present. You should continue to think in this manner as you say it's hearsay. It wouldn't hold up in court and it shouldn't take space in your mind. Asking questions like, has he shown me that he is a rapist? Is he aggressive to me or others sexually? Is he a thoughtful person who doesn't act on impulse? If he hasn't acted in such a way that you know of then it would be that he would be innocent until proven guilty. That's how it should be and to judge another based on hearsay is a tragic behavior. Imagine if I started a rumor about you and then everyone started to ask you about it? Would it create a false memory? These are serious accusations so feeding them when you're not sure is feeding the flame. She is certainly hurting and seeking attention, you can say that because of the photos. Is he the same? Hopefully this issue resolves itself. If it's not your business then stay out of it. OCD is tiresome and you have a lot on your plate already. I tend to stay out of messy situations.

Helllloo

Date posted: 2y

@Wexel It’s just that it’s my brother we talking bout. I remember my parents saying when they where together that this girl wasn’t good for him and they where worried about her doing something like this to him. She got banned from our house by my parents even before she said that he raped her. I have a strong urge to text my brothers ex and ask her what happened and what she meant by “raping” her. I think that toxic girls or whatever can take advantage of the word rape. My brother became very depressed over this and started with opium and other drugs when this happend. He’s clean now. I tried to talk about this rape situation with him but he told me that he didn’t wanna go back and talk about all that now because it was traumatic for him. He was open about it to my parents and told them everything and that he didn’t do it. I constantly have a urge to figure out what happened and ask my mom what he told her.

dee012

Date posted: 25w

False memory ocd Help Please

Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty

dee012

Date posted: 25w

false memory ocd :(

TW// MENTION OF DR8GS, SXUAL CONTENT false memory ocd is targeting my earlier teen years, around 16, I had a friend and we both did droogs (spelled it like that for a reason) one time together. I was scared to do the other stuff we had so she did it. but I remember us like touching eachothers chest as like girl stuff I guess idk it was weird lol… like about our sizes but then later on I had asked her smthng about ohh “would u ever wanna do stuff? or would u feel like that’s weird” something along those lines… and I remember her saying “ohhh I mean idk I would but I wouldn’t want it to make things weird between us”.. now here’s my thing. I remember just agreeing and accepting it and moving on, but obviously feeling weird cus that was sortve rejection. But my brain is saying what if u kept asking? Or questioned her? (We never did anything but likeee my ocd is like what if u tried to push it) and my brain is like what if u wanted to do it just bc she was under influence? I wanted us both to do it while under influence 1. Because we wouldn’t be anxious 2. I thought it would be fun at the time 3. I felt like it would be less weird if we were high. I did not PLAN for us to do these substances just for this reason but it was in my head that maybe we would do stuff if we had a sleepover or something plus I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy and I also like girls. All im thinking is what if she said yes? MY high wore off before hers and hers was lasting longer so she would’ve been under the influence and that would’ve been super bad I would’ve felt like I 🍇 her or something… that’s why im scared right now. Idk if these what ifs are true and I literally am sick with uncertainty. If it’s true that would make me feel so terrible, like a predator (like I tried to coerce her or something) but idk what’s true and what’s not. I just remember this false memory being triggered by the fact that I asked when we were on stuff but my stuff had already wore off is what’s bothering me. (We took different things) I remember worrying about this false memory before, and was able to move on. Also me and that girl were friends for a couple years after that until we fell out over stupidity. And we also had sleepovers after that and idk if I already asked her for reassurance like ohhh are u sure I didn’t make u uncomfortable.. but idk if I did. I want to ask but I can’t because I guess she is not around right now. Like MIA.(her own personal stuff im assuming) Any advice would help :(

AJ Rose

Date posted: 18w

Researching

Someone I loved was accused of sa 10 years ago on a minor they’re not 26. For some reason my mind keeps making excuses that they were struggling with pocd and acted some way but I know someone with OCD wouldn’t act on their thoughts yeah we think about it but no we would never do it. We aren’t our thoughts. I been finding articles to support why they’d be not guilty I’m in so much denial… but always believe the victim. This is a doubt disorder I know. I reached out to them to ask what happened and they mentioned being traumatized… also mentioned how it’s not only going to affect their family but their future partner. Would a guilty person feel this? I need atleast one comment.. I’m in so much denial because I loved them I hung out with them I created a bond with them… I don’t know what to do.

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