Question about perfectionism OCD

So we know that lots of people have perfectionism, “just right”, and contamination OCD, but I’ve noticed that sometimes people with these types will openly use that as an excuse to regularly do what I presume to be compulsions—like excessive hand washing, double/triple checking, compulsive cleaning, etc. My question is, shouldn’t we challenge these people to not give in to the compulsions? It doesn’t seem right that we preach about practicing exposures & living with uncertainty but oftentimes people with these types of OCD essentially get a free pass to do their regular compulsions.

Ev310

Date posted: 2y

I have these compulsions and I don’t think I have a “free pass” - I suffer from OCD like everyone else. And I’m trying to treat it just the same.

Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Evuelta I have these compulsions as well. I’m working on not giving into them. Using ERP to alleviate compulsions. I don’t feel I get a free pass.

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Evuelta Right, and I’m sorry if what I said came across as insensitive at all—I understand that in the OCD community, we don’t treat people with these compulsions like they have a free pass… my only point is that I’ve seen people who claim to legitimately have OCD essentially use that as a casual explanation for why they’re super tidy & organized. So again, I’m wondering if when people say stuff like this, should we challenge them on it at all? It seems like you’re very well-educated with OCD works but my question more so pertains to people who seem like they don’t entirely understand that compulsions are bad.

Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@yun444g I understand that perfectionism is a compulsion. I’m constantly trying to not give in. I guess there are people who have OCD and suffer, while there are others who do this, without an understanding or diagnosis of OCD.

Ev310

Date posted: 2y

@yun444g I understand. It seems like you’re referencing someone specific in your life you feel has OCD (or a different form than yours) and you feel like they can indulge in OCD behaviors/rituals more because they are socially acceptable. I get it. Like orthexia (clean eating disorder) is socially acceptable to be healthy but binge eating/weight gain isn’t. The bottom line is they are all disorders and if the sufferer is experiencing distress due to their OCD symptoms they should be lovingly guided to treatment.

Locna

Date posted: 2y

Not to mention my mind nose and eyes are always hyper aware and just because I'm not compulsive doesn't mean my brains quiet. Lolllll EF no it's not.

Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’m challenging myself not to.

Have Some Ch...

Date posted: 2y

I determined myself sometimes that not to wash that more than needed or not to wash again after this wash but i end up doing so 😭😂

Locna

Date posted: 2y

I had this question for my therapist as well. She said what's your anger level when your unable to compulsively clean up. I'm always edging on demon lord status. I do try to not compulsively clean and use a schedule but that gets thrown out the window once I get started. Suns down days gone and I'm not even finished. That's when I'm shamed.

eugeniodepalo

Date posted: 24w

Double standards for certainty?

Do you ever feel like people without OCD have an easy time just saying “you need to accept uncertainty” only because they’re not subject to the same level of fear and anxiety as an OCD sufferer would? I feel like they don’t really accept uncertainty, they’re just naturally more certain about things. For example, if you ask anyone whether they think their loved ones are real or not, they will never answer with “maybe, but I’ll never know for sure”. They’ll just say “of course they are”. Isn’t that what certainty is? For me, as I’ve been suffering from existential OCD most of my adult life, such a question absolutely terrifies me. The mere thought of my loved ones and the world not being real sends me into a spiral of anxiety and depression and never ending certainty-seeking behavior. I just can’t stand the thought of that horrible scenario being true. How can one accept uncertainty about such a thought, when it completely undermines all my values and beliefs and world view? Can non-OCD sufferers really accept those nighmarish scenarios? Am I misunderstanding what ERP and therapy is about?

thatusername...

Date posted: 22w

How do I practice exposure for mental compulsions?

My NOCD therapist (who has been awesome) and I are both struggling to identify ways in which I can practice exposure therapy while in-session, because the vast majority of my OCD symptoms are mental compulsions. For example: indecision and inability to commit to a choice; seeking reassurance on decisions from friends and family; mental review of things that have just happened / social situations; over-thinking and catastrophizing. I also have some other hallmark symptoms (contamination fears, moral scrupulosity, etc) but those tend to be inconsistent too. It’s hard to really practice these during my sessions because so many are in the moment and fleeting. By the time I join my session they are no longer active. How can we establish exposure responses during my sessions, if most of my OCD involves mental rumination and overthinking patterns/thought loops that only occur “in the moments - rather than specific or consistent compulsions (such as hand washing)?

Tony Davies

Date posted: 22w

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What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?

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