- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t understand what’s wrong.
Why do I feel like such a coward?
Why do I feel like such a coward?
Yeah I just feel like the worst father/husband. Just human in general but I know I’m not. I feel just scared or something. I use to be so sure about everything.
I feel the same way... It's frustrating and saddening... Same i used to be so sure of everything
I know this feeling... From being very brave years ago.. Now i am a shell because of Ocd... I believe OCD triggers a flight response that makes me that way.. Im. No expert im just thinking aloud here in my case
I’m about to do Erp for being a bum, OCD just makes you feel like your really low
Yeah the founder of the NOCD app was a college athlete and had a girlfriend and he was getting his life started and then he started having ocd about his girlfriend and life. It got worse until it eventually got so bad he had to leave school and live at his parents house. If I remember correctly I think he didn’t have a job either. Ocd just debilitated him. But then he got with a therapist trained in ERP and through learning it reclaimed his life and said he was “better off than he was before.” So then he founded NOCD to try to help people gain access to the treatment that helped him. There is hope. We don’t have to live like this the rest of our lives
hi there, i’m so sorry you feel this way. ocd is debilitating. ocd and gad have both contributed to my poor life decisions which have ruined my social life. i just want to know that you are not a coward. ocd can hurt us, belittle us and tear us down. but we have to try not let it define us as best as we can. made progress but gone back to bad compulsion? try again. feeling resentful toward ocd? prove ocd what a brave and powerful person you are. ignore the thoughts. you are strong and capable person. go get life and do what you what. it’s easier said than done as it takes a lot of work and dedication, but i know you can make it
I’m scared I keep thinking this over and over that I’m gunna hire a hitman on my brother what if I do like I’m a bad person how can I be normal with him this is probably my worst harm thought and it feels like I truly will do it I’m just “ holding back” :(
Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
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