It’s getting so bad I have thought about suicide. This is the worst most torturous disease to have when your mind eats away at itself and makes you feel like a monster I know I probably need to see an OCD therapist but I’m also really worried about disclosing my pocd in case I’m misunderstood. I’d rather die than hurt a child Has anyone recovered from this theme without therapy?
I want you to know that I hear you, I know that you are hurting and feel all alone, please know that this is VERY treatable. Many people have this form of OCD. The very reason it torments you is that it is what we call ego-dystonic- it goes against your nature and who you are. Thinking something doesn't equal doing it- and a thought is just a thought. A OCD specialist will know that this is a very common theme. At NOCD we treat this every single day and very successfully. Check out Chrissie Hodges videos on YouTube, she has some great video geared at this specific fear. It can get better, I have seen so many people get better from this debilitating illness. You can do this. If you are in the U.S and struggling with thoughts of hurting yourself, please, please reach out for help and don't allow this disorder to keep you a prisoner You can call 911. You can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline #988 The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. National Crisis Text Line Text "HOME" from anywhere in the U.S. to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis support from a trained Crisis Counselor. Rogers Behavioral Health If you’re struggling with your mental health and would like to seek treatment within the U.S., one option is to call Rogers Behavioral Health at 800-767-4411 to request a free, confidential screening. The screening will help determine what level of care at Rogers could be right for you.
I struggle with pocd. I would highly advise you seek therapy and even a psychiatrist for medication that can help with your anxiety. I’m currently in a bit of a loop at the moment and I irresponsibly ended my therapy and meds a few months back thinking I had a handle on things and fooling myself into believing I didn’t have ocd that it was a freak thing that happened to me and would never happen again. You can talk to therapist on here or find one in your area. It’s important to find one that uses ERP and one that has had experience with clients that have pocd specifically. What I did was google ocd therapist near me and I called and asked questions without giving any personal details identifying myself. Once I knew they knew what pocd was and that they had otnwr clients with it. I felt not great but knowing what a dark place I was in better about starting therapy. What I’ve done is started with therapy then later realized I needed medication to help with my anxiety so I could focus and put into practice the exposure responses the therapist was teaching me. Rather than explaining to yet another person your pocd and risking that psychiatrist not really knowing about it (although they probably do) the therapist can communicate with the psychiatrist with your permission that way you know it gets communicated correctly and you can feel safer talking to a psychiatrist and getting the right medication. Medication may not be the answer for you. I was skeptical at first but my anxiety was too much for me to handle and I got to the point of suicidal thoughts. So I knew I needed help. Suicidal thoughts need to be taken very seriously. Please seek help!
Hi, I hope you are ok. Trust me you are not alone. I also deal with these two themes plus a real event. I am constanrly bombared by false memories of me doing things to people younger than me. I'll read a story online and I'll get scared cause "what if I did that to someone too ? I don't remember much of my past and I was so reckless, maybe I did do that :(" and then I'll have moments of it feeling real and a whole scenario playing out in my head as if its something that really happened ! (but it didn't) is that what happens to you ? I seriously can't do anything without my mind seeing a story, random objects, random people younger and going "you've done this to someone so heres either a whole scenario or a feeling that you have done it"
My ocd has me convinced that I’m a pedo in disguise and everyone is going to find out basically - has me feeling like I’m going to ‘slip up’ and makes me question if I have actually done something bad subconsciously because I’m on autopilot obsessing over my thoughts and not being present
POCD is by far the worst theme I have ever dealt with. And I’ve dealt with a lot. Atleast, with every other theme I beloved I wanted to be happy, and wanted to be loved and tried to do things that made me happy. With pocd I feel I do t deserve any of that bc I am a “bad person.” I feel actual pedophiles don’t deserve those things, so I believe that for myself. I really hope I’m not. I mean, deep down I KNOW I’m not, but ocd keeps trying to find and cling to “proof”. So shitty. It’s genuinely so exhausting. Anyone else struggling rn?
Anyone here who got over the pocd theme?Do you have any advice? It's really scary .I dealt with it for a long time . I think it's one of the wost themes that I had besides harm ocd and real event .Also have you talk with someone about it? I am terrified to talk with someone , even a therapist
For the last three years I’ve been dealing with OCD, I’ve definitely had it all my life but up until now I was completely fine. This deals with some sensitive topics so read at your own discretion. I knew I had POCD way before, as I would just glance at a kid and my mind would conjure up the worst, most evil things imaginable. I would brush these off because I had a vague idea of what an intrusive thought was, even now I’m not sure if it’s POCD or if it’s real. I’ve dug deep into things I did as a child and in my early teens, even stuff from about a year or two ago. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore, I think I’ve become completely delusional and am lost, unsure of who I am. I could deal with the HOCD, I’ve sought professional help and have been in and out of the psych ward. I haven’t gone back because they told me they couldn’t be of much help and to do outpatient treatment, which is therapy, but even that won’t begin until two weeks later. I’m F18, a girl should not be dealing with shit like this, that’s what I’ve told myself. I couldn’t believe that I myself am a monster, I can’t cope with this…I don’t know what to do, when you’ve dug deep in your past and found things that can serve as “proof” I feel sick, disgusted, and I feel like the only way to get rid of these thoughts and to take back the things I did as a child is to just die. The second thing I wanted to post about was that I would frequent Omegle and other anonymous sites. This lasted up until a month or two months ago, I remember that I would often seek out older people than me, but during the time I was 16 I found that it was difficult to do so and decided to just talk to people my own age, my preference was to talk to people two years older than me but I remember one time I spoke to someone two years younger than me. This has raised many questions in my mind, “what if you sought someone younger and don’t remember” I do remember I’d encounter kids on there but I’d skip them, sometimes I’d warn them to get off the site because it was dangerous. I’ve been dealing with this constant “what if what if” for weeks now. I would go as far as having my phone be checked just to gain some fucking certainty about my situation, I wanted a career in art, but there’s this sense of doom following me everywhere I go and I cannot have any peace whatsoever. I don’t care about whatever happened to me, I could care even less. But what if I’ve done something I don’t remember, I’m scared to face that monster I’ve thought myself to be for so long.
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