- Date posted
- 3y
Friendships
How has OCD affected your friendships? Because I’m starting to notice my friends are getting very frustrated with me when it comes to my intrusive thoughts and me always wanting reassurance.
How has OCD affected your friendships? Because I’m starting to notice my friends are getting very frustrated with me when it comes to my intrusive thoughts and me always wanting reassurance.
Hi! When I stopped engaging in the compulsions of reassurance seeking and telling people about my intrusive thoughts (telling on myself and reassurance seeking have been major compulsions of mine) my relationships improved.
I’ve lost all my friends and now my significant other is sick of me too and can’t do it much longer. I have no friends at all I’m too much to handle
I'm so sorry. I've been there, too. It gets better, just keep working with your therapist and reaching out to people on this app. You're definitely not alone. 💙 *virtual hug*
@NM12 Thank you, I have my first appointment on Monday. It’s really nice to see that I’m not alone and other people have similar thoughts and struggles. OCD is a very isolating disease
@Anonymous That's so awesome you have your first appointment!! Youve gor this. Recovery is not easy but it's possible. I was 37 when I was finally diagnosed after a lifetime of struggles. Getting better was not easy and doing the work (ERP) was super uncomfortable but it was sooo worth it.
@NM12 How long did you do the ERP work if you don’t mind me asking?
@Will9889 I don't mind at all! I did the full NOCD program and still meet up with my therapist for 30 minute sessions as needed (I cannot remember the exact length of the program...it is at least 2 months long) outside of the initial ERP work we did in the program, I still use ERP if my OCD flares up in my day to day life. I definitely don't have flares as intensely or often as I used to and that is because I ERP my OCD when it pops up.
@Anonymous You are not too much to handle, you’re just in pain 💜
It definitely has affected my relationships, I don’t know how to tell people about my ocd and sometimes when I do some people don’t take it seriously
I hadn’t seen my friends in person for years due to not really leaving my house / covid fears. Thank goodness we are all the low maintenance type of true friends who are fine to text from time to time and pick up where we left off when we see each other, otherwise they would have given up on me long ago! I finally was able to hang out with some of them recently and tried to explain my OCD struggles to them and they did not really understand. One of them kept suggesting I smoke weed or eat edibles to deal with the anxiety/fear component of OCD, which 1)is really not something I want to do and 2)I WISH it was that simple but it’s not! So long story short, OCD has made me feel less heard and understood by my friends who used to just GET me effortlessly, which makes me pretty sad :( On the other hand, I feel like OCD has actually brought me closer to a friend who has struggled with anxiety for a long time. We empathize with one another and I’m now better able to understand her and be more supportive, because now instead of not “getting” her, I totally understand how the most seemingly random things that don’t matter to anyone else can cause so much anxiety and distress. On the other other hand, OCD has definitely strained my relationship with my SO (who I also consider my best friend) because I’m very hard to live with and it stresses us both out
Can anyone who is diagnosed with both OCD and BPD tell me a bit more about their experiences, especially when it comes to friendship and relationships?
I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.
My best friend hasn’t spoken to me in months. It triggered some symptoms that I now realize fall along the lines of ROCD. It’s making me behave in a way that chased my other friends away. I’m feeling very hopeless and guilty.
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