Remember that OCD doesn’t make you a perfect person, you can make mistakes just like anyone else. You don’t need to doubt you had OCD just cause the event/mistake you centered on is “real”. The thoughts about it are not, the guilt/shame, berating yourself, and obsessing over whether or not it could happen again/it was worse than you remember it serves nobody except your OCD.
Hey I feel the same about myself. I made a screwed up mistake. Talked into something and it haunts me. You deserve happiness.I do believe even actual criminals who made mistakes in their youth deserve a chance to be happy and not put in a box. I am so different from the person I was as a teenager. Self compassion is the answer
It’s bothering me so much. I absolutely hate myself for when I didn’t know better when I was a teenager about something I made a series of mistakes not even realizing the mistakes I was making and I should of known and I beat myself up everyday because it feels like I’ve done the worst most unforgivable thing and people should hate me just like I hate myself. I’m terrified because of the “what ifs” telling me I’m a monster that deserves to give up even though I’ve talked to a couple people about it including my parents and they both told me to let it go and forgive myself but I can’t do it because my mind tells me it’s equivalent to what a monster would of done but I never had any bad intentions but it feels so wrong and the guilt eats me up inside every single day to the point I don’t feel like I deserve love, to eat, to have friends, to go out and have fun, to succeed in college, to feel any sort of joy in my life or even live. I don’t even know if it’s ocd at this point or if I should actually be concerned
@Just Breathe ❤️ People with OCD can make mistakes. It’s OCD, just try to breathe and get on with life. So much easier said than done. I’m the same way, in bed, looking up ways to forgive myself, thinking I don’t deserve to live, listening to mediations, anything when in reality I should not be engaging.
@bababeto But how do you know for sure if it’s something that I should actually be concerned about or should feel afraid or guilt? I just feel like I’m the exception and I don’t deserve to say “oh it’s just ocd”
@Just Breathe ❤️ Because it doesn’t matter. You do deserve that, even if it was bad, the fact you fear so much you’ll do it again or that it makes you a bad person forever is OCD and not helpful to you. You are okay. You deserve to eat, love, laugh, wish, hope. I’m gonna tell you a radical truth: even bad people, criminals, and the worst of our society deserve decency, respect, and the right to be better.
@bababeto That means a lot. I have thoughts all the time that I’m like them. That I am in that category and you’d think that after talking to my mom, dad and my first therapist and my current one, that they would of told me if their was an actual issue but my mind tells me it everyday and I’m filled with fear all the time. I can’t even relax or just do normal things anymore. I really appreciate this even though you don’t know my real event but I appreciate it. I struggle with two very horrible themes to me and it’s a complete nightmare because I would never want to be a bad person. It’s just not me
@Just Breathe ❤️ I feel the exact same
Does anyone have advice on distinguishing between real event ocd and false memory ocd? If my current obsession is whether this intrusive image in my head is a real memory even though there’s no evidence it is, does that seem more like real event ocd or false memory? I feel like I’m getting into a trap of worrying that I’m obsessing over a real event instead of a false image and keep having thoughts that say “you know you did this” even though I really don’t think I did.
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
Just bombarded with the guilt of past mistakes. Not knowing the outcome of things makes it worse. Seeing things/signs that are associated with the real event I obsess about everyday. I see it in tv, you tube, songs and everything. It's so scary how it's everywhere
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