I’m in such pitiful state. I’m so hurt and extremely depressed. Depressed is an understatement. I don’t deserve this pain. I feel hopeless

Thank you for offering to listen. My academic life is a mess. I’m an high achiever so it’s extra hard and it’s not because of bad grades or anything. I was a medical student in my home country, in year 2 I failed a promotional exam and was asked to repeat the year. This happened in February 2021. It was extremely devastating because I tried my best even when my mental health was declining, I even trusted in God so much to pass, yet I still failed. So trauma was building up. However while, prepping for the exam, I reevaluated my career path and honestly didn’t want to do medicine at the time, I wanted a fresh start elsewhere. An opportunity came to school abroad, and I jumped on it. I got accepted and I chose psychology(I love it). But I was schooling remotely. I started in July 2021 and have since done school online. I’ve completed all the available online courses and need to travel abroad to continue There lies the problem. I was denied visa on September 2nd, a day to my birthday. Before I applied for my visa, it was a hassle because I needed to show proof of adequate funds . My cousin defrauded my family of millions that plunged us into debts. But we eventually were able to apply and I was still denied. Now my mum wants me to consider a whole new country(because the visa requirements are less tedious), where I’d have to start admission process all over again. I can reapply for the first country with no actual guarantee of visa but we wanted a plan B. My problem is both processes are mentally exhausting. I’m so tired. I’ve not rested for 2 whole years. It’s been from one mental strain to another. I don’t have the strength and will to go on. So the mess is Option A- the chances of getting a visa in the whole new country is high but the admission process is mentally exhausting, getting the requirements and all . And my tuition of over 11k cad dollars would be a waste. Plus having to jump from one school to another without getting a degree while my mates have graduated is adding to the misery. Option B- the chances of getting a visa upon reapplication is mid, not guaranteed. The processing time as well can be for months, plus If I’m denied again, it’ll get pretty ugly. So yeah a total mess, Stuck in a mess.

@jasonbozinakis Thank you so much for your advice and time. I appreciate. Today I’m so much better.