Panic Disorder

I'm new to NOCD, but not new to my own OCD journey. I was diagnosed in 2017 and usually experience relationship obsessions. Medication helped me tremendously and I was able to tackle and overcome the anxiety I felt when my husband and I first got together. Fast forward to now. My best friend has decided to casually enter the dating world again and that terrifies me. The fact that it scared me triggered an HOCD spiral, that I think I've now gotten myself out of. I just feel pathetic for being so fearful that my friend is going to realize she's too good for me and leave me behind once she has a partner. I know this likely stems from my own feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem, but my OCD has latched itself to this fear and I've been catching myself falling into old habits that I thought I'd overcome. I don't want to be living under the cloud again. Just looking for some encouragement or someone else who understands what this feels like.

I am trying to see if there are others like me. For the past 12 years, I’ve had crippling Anxiety that leads to intense panic attacks. I’ve been in and out of Ambulances and ER rooms and have called 911 several times. The panic is that intense. I can be just driving down the road and out of no where, BOOM! Hit by the anxiety bus. Most of the time it leads to me panicking, thinking I’m going to die or something is fatally wrong with me. The fear is so intense that I can only find a fraction of calmness by consistently checking my blood pressure, putting on a pulsometer and even checking my blood sugar until it passes. I’m not even a diabetic. I’m always having intrusive thoughts that doctors can’t even fix me. I’ve never met anyone else like me. I feel so scared sometimes that I’m going to loose my mind and that I’m going crazy and will end up in a straight jacket. Then I get another attack just thinking about that as well. Starting new medications freak me out too. If I experience ANY minor side effect, I immediately panic and freak out. I’m being so held back by this . This is a constant obsession that I can’t shake. It’s like I walk hand in hand with Anxiety and panic. Anyone else ever had these issues?

Hey! Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something similar. A bit of background: I have POTS and had a horrible flare up in March which led to us calling ambulances; I started on meds which didn’t agree with me; the POTS flare passed and left me with horrific anxiety on a level I’ve never experience before. I was still able to go out and do every day things like grocery shopping and see my nan but nothing more. Fast forward a few weeks my uncle dies and the grief and stress triggered a massive migraine, and bc I’ve never had a migraine before it scared me and I thought I was having a stroke or something. The migraine passed but my brain latched onto the fear of it and how it felt to have one. Long story short since the beginning of the year it’s been one thing after another. A few days ago I had the worst panic attack ever downstairs in my house (felt like I couldn’t feel my arm or face) and it sent me into a spiral. I am now terrified to leave the house in case I have a panic attack outdoors, it just feels so unsafe. I went to the shop with my dad yesterday and felt so bad, but i managed to do it and I was proud. Tried again to go to a different shop closer to home because I was already feeling bad, and it was horrific. I started having a panic attack, felt faint, my arm and face went tingly, so we went back home. I’m trying to challenge myself every day but I am really really struggling and not sure what to do at this point. I tried fluoxetine but had horrible side effects (which included a horrific dip in my mood) so I had to stop them. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow to tell her everything and explain how difficult it is, but I’m just SO scared all the time. It’s like my body is constantly scanning for danger. It’s got to a point where it’s been going on for so long I’m just desperate to try anything to help me feel just a little bit better. I’m not asking for much, I just want to be able to go to the shop without feeling like I’m going to die. My question is has anyone else dealt with anything like this? The panic attacks are terrifying, and even though I know they’re “not dangerous” it does not help because they’re still so so scary and even worse when I’m out of my bedroom because if I’m by myself I can kinda lie down, do some breathing and talk myself round. I just don’t know how to get over this and I’m so so sad because I’m 31 and scared of being stuck like this forever 😭