- Username
- Stacy Quick
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 2y ago
“Perhaps, for all those years, I would have lived rather than just survived.” Oh, this line right here speaks to my story so much. I have been surviving rather than living for so so long that I cannot even remember what it is like to actually just live my life. I have been in survival mode since I was 10 years old & a trauma happened to me. Fast forward until I was in my mid thirties when that trauma came back up again into my memory & I was no longer able to push it back down. I started therapy, 10 years worth of talk therapy. To which I was totally dependent on that time with my therapist every week. Little did I know that my ocd was eating up all of that reassurance I got from the therapist because they did not know I had ocd. I was only ever diagnosed with depression, anxiety & ptsd up until January of this year. With those talk therapist I would usually go into a session for n distress & by the time I left I felt better. I got used to that & then I needed it more & more, to feel better with reassurance. I didn’t know what I was doing exactly. I just knew that it made me feel better to have them talk & tell me things like it wasn’t my fault & I was a good person. I got really good at seeking out that reassurance only I still did not know that was what it was called that I was doing. Thanks to seeing a new psychiatrist nurse practioner this year who was very observant of what I was saying, she asked me if anyone had ever mentioned I could have ocd. She said from what I was saying it sounded a lot like ocd. From there I found NOCD & I have been working with a therapist here since. My recovery has been somewhat slow I think as it took me time to get comfortable with another new therapist & also not getting that quick reassurance fix & feeling better by the end of a therapy session. I struggled with that for a good while because that is s what I was used to with therapist. My therapist here kept telling me basically that I had to try different to get different results than what had not worked for me before.
Thank you so much for sharing this Trish, I am so happy that you found out about OCD and are getting the right treatment for it. Our stories help others so much. I am inspired by your strength! Keep moving forward!
I hope this is my story soon.
I just feel like I’m just existing at this point rather than actually living thoroughly. For all these years I wasn’t able to get the right proper treatment for my due to financial cost . It baffles me the government or whomever in charge of the health care system does not do anything for accessible affordable health care.
Brian I am so sorry to hear that. I wish that everyone had access to great mental health treatment also. Maybe someday that will become a reality. In the meantime, check out NOCD's free resources on the app. Also youtube has some great therapy videos out there. Best wishes your way.
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Thank you😊had my first session today
I wish NOCD offered a sliding scale. This treatment is so needed for so many people
The only problem is that it has already taken a major financial toll to the point where I owe a lot of people a lot of money. My insurance company only seems to cover outpatient through hospital programs, and after the last time I tried that, I don't really want to try that again. I need someone I can actually trust, but that comes at a major cost when I'm already asking people for money to survive (I do get a decent paycheck, I've just already dug myself a major hole.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear this, it breaks my heart that people are not able to get good solid treatment for mental health. When I was in my 20's I struggles financially and ended up going to a clinic where I received free treatment, though it was not a OCD specialist, but thankfully they knew one and consulted and I was able to get wonderful treatment. I recommend calling your insurance company regularly and asking what your options are. Sometimes they can work with you. Best wishes to you. Keep going, it won't always be this way.
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