Scared

I hate who I am. Not my personality or my physical appearance. I hate HOW I AM. The things I can’t do because of anxiety, and the thing a that my friends and family can do. I hate not being able to have fun without feeling the overwhelming sense of anxiety and guilt, dooming feeling of disaster. From going to a party to the fear of downloading an app on my phone. Everything I can’t do. I hate it so much. I’m still very young, only 15 and I can’t live my life. I am in fear of the world and I am in fear of not living. I’m scared I won’t be able to find true love or get a job or drive or participate in any sports or social activities. I am so afraid I won’t live up to my OWN expectations.

Username: AsheeeAsheee

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey, I've been there. It's a really weird place, like, being lost in a nasty storm. The thing is, it took a while, it got quite a bit worse before it got better, but now it's a lot better. I felt so unsatisfied and I still feel that fear of not living up to my expectations and getting everything done before it's my time. Right now, you don't need to worry about a job or a driver's license, you're 15, you've got time. A lot of people don't even drive nowadays anyway. If you want to play a sport, go for it, if you don't, that is okay. You're allowed to take a breather instead. Journaling really helped me have a nice outlet to organize my thoughts, I'd recommend just venting into a few pages whenever you feel like it. I hope you're doing okay ☺️

Username: Beebee7Beebee7

Date posted: 2y ago

I used to feel similar ways but now I climb high ladders work in tight spaces with all kind of dangerous stuff 😃. I might sound silly but don’t focus on your fears. You can do all things through Jesus Christ Who strengthens us. You can do this!

Username: Kallie Kallie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I love the religion aspect, I pray all the time :)

Username: SomeOneeSomeOnee

Date posted: 2y ago

my first ocd episode was when i was 13. when you’re in the middle of the storm it feels like you’ll never get out. but i promise you that you will. this is not forever. keep fighting, you’re still young so you can recover way quicker than most people. remember, the key to beating ocd is living with the uncertainty and not doing what your mind tells you :)

Username: IvankaIvanka

Date posted: 2y ago

I really feel for you and I feel very sorry fot you. I feel every single word you say. I have been better and worst. I have never done exposure therapy and I think it's a key, why I have osd for so long, I am 32 now. And I had good and bad periods in my life. I really want to try this therapy now and I bealive you can do it too! And everything will be okey. With you and with me! Wish you all the best!

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I truly know what this is like or at least to some extent. I have had OCD since as young as I can remember, what I can say is that things change. Things always change- it can be a beautiful thing, for many years I lived in a prison of OCD and I couldn't see a way out, but there was. It took a long time and a lot of treatment but I am living with so much more freedom than ever before. You can get to that place too. I promise that what you are going through now will not always be the way that it is. There is so much hope for you.

Username: dealingwithocd

Date posted: 1y ago

I need help (social anxiety and low self esteem)

I am feeling so shitty right now… I am literally dealing with so many mental issues it’s making me hate the way I am and it’s messing with my head. I need to know I am not alone, I need to hear that someone feels similar. I am such a sensitive/nervous person I hate it SO MUCH. I dealt with Harm OCD for so long, and I’ve always been a loner, but now that I am finally getting to meet more people, my low self esteem, social anxiety and even emetophobia are getting on the way. Whenever I hang out with new people I haven’t met for that long, I get extremely nervous, shaky, sweaty, red, my voice cracks, my lips tremble, and I even struggle to eat. This is messing so bad with my self esteem, (that was low on its own), that I feel embarrased and uncomfortable around people all of the time. I hate this. I just wanna be happy and I haven’t been able to in such a long time. I am always dealing with so much I can’t take it.

Username: emilytravels...

Date posted: 49w ago

Not doing great this morning

I see people living their lives and just enjoying themselves. Not taking things too seriously and not overly stressing. And then there’s me. Who stresses at the slightest thing. Whose OCD has taken massive chunks of my life that I’ll never get back. It feels like I’m going through life just terrified of my own f*cking shadow… Any small thing I have to deal with that to anyone else might just cause slight inconvenience or nervousness, causes me to have an almost complete and utter breakdown. WHY CANT I HANDLE LIFE. I am so ashamed of who I am. I want to be someone who is brave and courageous and who does things and lives life anyway, regardless of fear. But no. I avoid living because of it. Why am I even here if this is how my life is? What is the point? I’m going through it today, friends 😭

Username: rosequartz

Date posted: 30w ago

Struggling pretty bad lately

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.

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