Hi all! I’ve been doing really well with my OCD, but I’ve been in a flair up the last few days and it’s so uncomfortable and distressing. It’s so hard to remember that I’m strong when OCD is so loud.
Remember what you just said. It’s uncomfortable. Not life threatening, not fatal, not life altering but uncomfortable. That it is. It sucks. It takes our safety, space, and comfort. But it thrives to be front and center, a hearty fire with plenty of self supplied fuel. Starve that fire, but never think you can extinguish it. A brain is like a hard drive - you need to allocate space to let it hum in the background. Let the voices fight: the worried, the condescending, and the rational. Have at it. Easier said then done. Have had OCD for over 50 years. New thoughts take over old ones - they’re all yammering for a platform. Turn the what ifs into so what’s. Trust me - my fears over 5 decades never, NEVER came to fruition. It takes on new thoughts, new dimensions that get a physical reaction and when it does OCD says YES, I got her. I’m somatic and pure O. All the torture is in my head, not in my physical world. Is it scary? Yes! Is it terrifying? Yes! Is it uncomfortable? Yes! Is it fatal? No. Is it life threatening? No. Is it REAL? NO! It’s a lying, deceiving disease. Does it suck? Hell yes! But it’s a part of you, and the more you deny it the space to let it chatter away, the more you unintentionally feed it.
Since I've started facing the OCD and fighting back my themes and intrusive thoughts (i have pure 0)...ocd has been louder.. I've gotten physically exhausted although mine is in my mind. Yesterday was tough for me.. I was driving and a lot of pedestrians were passing close to me car and jaywalking etc.. I got anxious throughout... Even when I reached home.. Anxiety went up for at least an hour (before this would take me days and weeks) I decided not to give in to OCD from the learnings of my therapist and literally said.. I don't care OCD.. Going to watch my movie.. I can't think about it right now and im not worrying about this... It's been difficult but every time I worry i just feel making ocd stronger.. So Im trying to fight back against ocd with the help of my therapist
Thank you so much for your responses. You reminded me of the strength that I do have in me. I want my strength to overcome my fear. I’m doing my exposures and I’m determined to turn my OCD down so I can get back to me.
Today i went back driving again... Still anxious from the day before.. But i went out of my way to unfamiliar roads to get home... Because I knew that would bug my OCD... Sure enough the familiar anxiety... People crossing close to my car.. I knew it would come .. I. Said yes.. There's a chance I could hit someone but im a good driver But anything can happen and leaned into that uncomfortable uncertainty... But guess what? The anxiety took less time to disappear tonight... Also i have social anxiety and i mingled freely this evening refusing to acknowledge OCD this evening.. Turned out to be a good evening :)
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
