I am so scared that my best friend is getting tired of me. I don’t want to be angry at her for no reason, I am not sure if there even is a reason or I am over analyzing everything. I am so scared that we are drifting apart.
Why do you feel like your best friend is getting tired of you? Is there a reason or are you just obsessing about it?
@Drew777 Idk, she had gotten a lot of new friends. Which I think is great! It just had been me and her so it is taking some getting used to. Anyway I keep comparing how she acts with them vs how she acts with me. I am not really a texter. But she texts them often. Which is probably my fault. It is more healthier that we are talking to other people or getting new friends! But it just makes me so insecure that I obsess over it. Like when we are alone together I feel such pressure to be entertaining that I just can’t say anything at all. And I over analyze how she acts with me. If she is not happy then I think she is having a horrible time. I am just scared that I am sabotaging our friendship by thinking this way ya know? Sorry I ranted lol but thoes are my thoughts.
@Anonymous I understand how you feel. It can be tough when you're good friends with someone but then suddenly a bunch of new people enter the situation who you don't really know and you feel overwhelmed and anxious to compete with them. It can be difficult to go from being a group of two friends to suddenly being a big group of multiple friends. Are you friends with her new friends too? I do think you're being too hard on yourself though. I don't think she is having a horrible time with you at all, I just think you're obsessing about it. Don't push yourself to feel like you have to do anything differently than what you would normally do. Just be yourself with your friend. How long have you two been friends? I don't think she'll stop being your friend out of nowhere for no reason, people don't typically just get bored of other people. I'll be in prayer for you friend! God bless! :)
@Drew777 Omg that is 100% how I feel. Yeah it’s just a whole new situation and I am just feeling self conscious and stressed about it. I am friendly towards her friends, I am trying to also come out of my shell a little and talk to some people in and outside that group. It’s a bit nerve racking but I am liking some of the new people. Yeah we have been friends for so long. She is like a sister to me. I don’t think so either she is not the type of person to just drop someone. I did just text her about everything that I was feeling and she was really understanding about it. She said that we should hangout more. And that she cares about me a lot and is not getting board of me which is good lol. Thanks so much for the help. I literally feel so heard and understood. I am just gonna keep being myself and she what happens. Thank you so much! Take care of yourself!
OCD can make you feel hyper-sensitive to anything you perceive as negative, so anything that you may take as criticism (even if it is not meant to be) OCD can latch onto and run wild with. The key is to allow the thoughts and feelings to be there. Maybe she is getting sick of you, maybe she isn't- OCD wants certainty- I worry that you sending the text is reassurance seeking, which is a compulsion, and though it may feel good at the moment if she gives you a "good" response- the anxiety will only decrease temporarily, until the next time OCD latches ahold. Have you done any ERP? There is nothing wrong with addressing the relationship and working through things that are bothering one another- but try and ask yourself is this me or the OCD doing the talking? Best wishes your way. Also, remember even if the worst-case scenario for you is true- you can get through it. You are likely a whole lot stronger than you think.
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Thank you so much! This comment really helped me. And yes you are correct it may have been a compulsion but honestly I am not sure. It got me and my friend talking which is good. But yes I am doing ERP and I am going to start doing practices that involves these types of thoughts because I do also think my ocd is making me paranoid. Thank you so much for the kind words
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@lonerjayv3 I wrote her a long text detailing how I am feeling lol. I am going to wait till she is not busy to send it. I am really scared. But I think that it is probably best to get it off my chest. I have been holding this in for a while
I can’t stop overthinking about my friend and her soon-to-be boyfriend , I feel like I’m jealous but not of HER, I’m jealous of HIM, like, I’ve known her for so much longer , me and her have always been closer, and this guy comes in and is gonna take up a bunch of her time. Idk, ik I shouldn’t feel this way. She reassured me she would never leave me and I guess I’m also scared of that. I had a breakup with our friend oldest bsf a couple months ago , I guess that might’ve done more damage than I thought. I feel like I’m losing myself , and then I thought I found myself again once me, my bsf , and the guy became friends , but as soon as I found oit she liked him and he liked her its like everything crashed:/// I hate feeling this way but idk what to do
I have a huge problem, and I don’t know how to stop overthinking it. For context, my boyfriend is not the type to jump to conclusions like “Oh, that girl looked at me, she must like me.” He’s always realistic and doesn’t assume things without reason. Lately, I’ve lost most of my friends, and now the only person I have besides my boyfriend is my best friend of five years. We’ve been through everything together—friendship breakups, different social circles—and in the end, it’s always been the two of us. Right now, it’s just me, her, and my boyfriend in our little friend group, and we all get along well. We even have plans to go to a festival together this summer. But this past Friday, my boyfriend told me something that completely threw me off. He said that he doesn’t want to make assumptions, but it seems like my best friend might be looking at him in a certain way. He wasn’t saying it’s 100% true, just that he noticed something. The problem is, I already had this intrusive thought before—“What if she likes him?”—and now that he mentioned it, it’s making me spiral even more. I feel like I’m acting weird around her now, and I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying her in my own mind by even considering this idea, because I know she loves me and would never do something like that. It’s completely absurd, yet I can’t stop thinking about it. To make things even more complicated, my 18th birthday is coming up in two months. My plan was to go on a small trip with both my boyfriend and my best friend, but when I mentioned it to my dad, he shut it down immediately and said, “You don’t have to take her everywhere.” And now, I feel stuck. I don’t know how to tell her that I might just want to go with my boyfriend without making her feel left out or hurting her feelings. But at the same time, this is a huge milestone in my life, and of course, I want my best friend there. I hate that these intrusive thoughts are making me question everything—“What if she likes him? What if she ends up liking him?” My mom recently told me a story about a woman whose best friend stole her husband, and now my brain won’t let it go. I’m dreading the idea of us all being in the same hotel room this summer for the festival. It’s like my mind is preparing for something bad to happen, even though nothing has actually happened. I don’t want to think this way. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around her. How do I stop these thoughts from ruining everything?
Recently she has told me she will be calling a lot less and stuff, this bothers me because well I’m scared, as I’m writing this I sent messages from 1pm to 7pm and tried calling her, no reply or anything, as a man it’s not good to be left alone with my mind, I’ve had “those” thoughts because of everything else going on, I told her how I felt and she said she’s sorry but she’s uncomfortable calling a lot, granted I’ve been doing good not calling her but when I really need her or call her she doesn’t pick up, this entire situation has screwed me up, it doesn’t help I have a overthinking problem, I’m scared to lose her, I’m scared to share my feelings fully without it being a burden or emotionally wearing her down, well that’s life, god do I hate it.
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