I am so scared that my best friend is getting tired of me. I don’t want to be angry at her for no reason, I am not sure if there even is a reason or I am over analyzing everything. I am so scared that we are drifting apart.
Why do you feel like your best friend is getting tired of you? Is there a reason or are you just obsessing about it?
@Drew777 Idk, she had gotten a lot of new friends. Which I think is great! It just had been me and her so it is taking some getting used to. Anyway I keep comparing how she acts with them vs how she acts with me. I am not really a texter. But she texts them often. Which is probably my fault. It is more healthier that we are talking to other people or getting new friends! But it just makes me so insecure that I obsess over it. Like when we are alone together I feel such pressure to be entertaining that I just can’t say anything at all. And I over analyze how she acts with me. If she is not happy then I think she is having a horrible time. I am just scared that I am sabotaging our friendship by thinking this way ya know? Sorry I ranted lol but thoes are my thoughts.
@Anonymous I understand how you feel. It can be tough when you're good friends with someone but then suddenly a bunch of new people enter the situation who you don't really know and you feel overwhelmed and anxious to compete with them. It can be difficult to go from being a group of two friends to suddenly being a big group of multiple friends. Are you friends with her new friends too? I do think you're being too hard on yourself though. I don't think she is having a horrible time with you at all, I just think you're obsessing about it. Don't push yourself to feel like you have to do anything differently than what you would normally do. Just be yourself with your friend. How long have you two been friends? I don't think she'll stop being your friend out of nowhere for no reason, people don't typically just get bored of other people. I'll be in prayer for you friend! God bless! :)
@Drew777 Omg that is 100% how I feel. Yeah it’s just a whole new situation and I am just feeling self conscious and stressed about it. I am friendly towards her friends, I am trying to also come out of my shell a little and talk to some people in and outside that group. It’s a bit nerve racking but I am liking some of the new people. Yeah we have been friends for so long. She is like a sister to me. I don’t think so either she is not the type of person to just drop someone. I did just text her about everything that I was feeling and she was really understanding about it. She said that we should hangout more. And that she cares about me a lot and is not getting board of me which is good lol. Thanks so much for the help. I literally feel so heard and understood. I am just gonna keep being myself and she what happens. Thank you so much! Take care of yourself!
OCD can make you feel hyper-sensitive to anything you perceive as negative, so anything that you may take as criticism (even if it is not meant to be) OCD can latch onto and run wild with. The key is to allow the thoughts and feelings to be there. Maybe she is getting sick of you, maybe she isn't- OCD wants certainty- I worry that you sending the text is reassurance seeking, which is a compulsion, and though it may feel good at the moment if she gives you a "good" response- the anxiety will only decrease temporarily, until the next time OCD latches ahold. Have you done any ERP? There is nothing wrong with addressing the relationship and working through things that are bothering one another- but try and ask yourself is this me or the OCD doing the talking? Best wishes your way. Also, remember even if the worst-case scenario for you is true- you can get through it. You are likely a whole lot stronger than you think.
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Thank you so much! This comment really helped me. And yes you are correct it may have been a compulsion but honestly I am not sure. It got me and my friend talking which is good. But yes I am doing ERP and I am going to start doing practices that involves these types of thoughts because I do also think my ocd is making me paranoid. Thank you so much for the kind words
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@lonerjayv3 I wrote her a long text detailing how I am feeling lol. I am going to wait till she is not busy to send it. I am really scared. But I think that it is probably best to get it off my chest. I have been holding this in for a while
For about a month now I’ve been really obsessed with the idea that my girlfriend has feelings for this guy we know if he has feelings for her. We’ve only known him for about a month and we’re not that close to him. The stuff that makes me worried is completely normal for friends to do or are things that aren’t real. . They respond to each other on group chats . They hangout in groups when I’m not there . She finds him funny and smiles when she’s around him . I just have a bad feeling It’s become such a thing in my mind and it’s deteriorating our relationship. Every time I see him and her talk I feel mad and sick and anxious. And now I’m starting to hate him. I feel like I’m being so unfair because she hasn’t actually done anything, and I keep accusing her and treating her like she has. She says she feels like all I see is the worst in her and like she’s a bad person. I’ve brought this up to her many times and every time she tells me she would never cheat on me and that he’s some random guy and that she doesn’t want him she wants me. I just can’t get the idea out of my head, I can’t stop unconsciously looking for signs of romantic feelings between them. I analyse her body language or how she looks at him, I check if there online at the same time to see if their texting or something. It’s really bad. It’s gotten to the point where it’s not about the idea that they have feeings anymore it’s more just I want to get the idea out my head. I want to stop seeing this. Because she would have said something by now. And I know this is coming from a place of fear and insecurity about myself and the way she feels about me, because he’s no different to any of her other friends I just chose him to be the one I worry about. I want to get past this because our relationship needs to move past this and I want to be able to enjoy the time I spend with my friends instead of relating it to this and the idea of hanging out in this group with her where he is, and if causing instant anxiety. She’s not like this, she’s a good person. It’s not necessarily the idea she’ll actually cheat it’s the idea she’ll develop feeling or he will and will make her catch feelings too. It’s all just a “bad feeling” I have and an obsession with this idea. I can’t stand to be around them in a group cuz all I can see is that “she’s in love with him” or “he would make her or does make her happier”
For some time i was obsessing over relationship with my girlfriend. For a long time we we're each other's best friends and we only had each other. Recently she made a good friend in work and im obviously really happy for her because she deserves to be loved by more people than me. But i started to feel really jealous. I never thought she can cheat on me i just have really low self esteem and i started to obsess over if she is still in love with me or if she is still attracted to me bc she sometimes would be more interested to spend time with that friend and not me. We talked about it a lot and i tried my best to not be jealous and give her space but i felt how she's distancing from me. At some point she stopped showing me her love in any way. She stopped hugging me and kissing me and she kinda stop telling me she loves me. She only responded "me too" when i told her i love her. I talked about it with her few times and she always said she understands and that she's tired and don't really need physical touch etc. But i was still worrying bc i just knew something is off. She really was acting different. And then few days ago she told me she's actually tired not because of job but me. She feels irritated by me and she don't know why and that she actually thought about breaking up with me and she don't know what to do because she's confused about her own feelings. She said she thinks she still loves me but it's hard for her to see a difference between friendship and love and that she feels tired of concept of dating someone. She said we should wait and see bc she thinks she still loves me but i don't know if that's honest. I don't know what to do anymore im crying all the time every day since that conversation we had. I feel like my worst nightmare just came true and now it's real and not only a though in my head. I can't do anything and i feel like it's the end of the world. We're living together and i don't want to go back to my parents but that's not the worst thing. I just love her so much and i can't hande thought of loosing her. My ocd made me question every single thing about me but somehow i never questioned my love for her so that's why I'm so emotional about it. I don't want to lose her. I don't know what to do i just want to be loved but I don't want anyone else. I don't know what to do im so scared. I want to die every time i look at her with love in my heart and i know she doesn't think about me like that anymore.
the past month ive been ruminating about a time last year where i hurt a friend by unintentionally bringing up a traumatic memory when i was really drunk, enough that i didnt remember it, so i went 6 months without apologizing until i was worried when they werent talking to me anymore. so they told me when i finally tried to talk to them. i apologized and they told me we were ok now, and still want me in their life, but now they stopped talking to me again and its been 3 weeks, and im terrified that i did something again, especially since they stopped talking to me when i made a mistake before, and wont tell me outright. the event triggered horrible horrible guilt over what i did, mostly guilt About the guilt i was feeling, because its not a normal amount of guilt for a regular person, and eventually my compulsions for confessing and ruminating reached a high point. and when they stopped talking to me again they got even worse . they are aware i suffer from ocd and anxiety to an extent (we've been friends since we were teenagers) so its hard for me to believe they wouldn't do this unless i did something wrong again, especially due to the events of my past mistake. lately ive been wondering, 'have they found out my abnormal reaction to what happened ?' 'did a friend who knows about it tell them?' ive been avoiding asking them if i did something wrong again, because i dont want to make it a habit since i can fall very deeply into that hole of asking for reassurance and i feel even regular reassurance, without the ocd, im the last person who deserves that right now. im scared they somehow found out about my compulsions (which isnt entirely irrational) and i feel the need to apologize to them again. ive been having panic attacks about this. i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix our friendship, and its going to end badly. i feel like a terrible friend, and im too mentally ill to have friendships. i don't know what to do.
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