- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Weird theme
I would consider this an existential theme overall but it’s heartbreaking and makes me feel so alone. Like I’ve figured something out that no one else knows or sees it the way I do. I know this is the OCD trying to make me feel that way and it doesn’t make much sense..but it is devastating. My OCD focuses on people and why we do the things we do and think the way we do. It’s like it finds everything so predictable like we are all basically like robots. This didn’t start happening until I experienced major trauma from an abusive relationship with a full blown narcissist who likely has major mental health problems. He was extremely toxic and delusional, and scary at times. I definitely suffer from complex PTSD but the OCD that came as a result has been debilitating. It’s like I don’t see things the way I used to. My perspective on life and people in general is totally different now and my brain constantly finds ways to over analyze things and make me feel like I can’t accept reality, and the way things are in life when it comes to being human, having emotions, why we do things the way we do and why things just are the way we are, etc. It’s so odd and hard to explain. But I really feel so alone. Every time I have my thoughts I get so depressed and anxious. It doesn’t even feel like OCD, because it feels so real.