Does anyone else suffer from rocd but in the way that like you are worried your partner has sexually assaulted you or pushed you into something even though you know they haven’t? I know it makes no sense.
IM STRUGGLING WITH THIS SAME TOPIC
@arp1014 Seriously know it’s my ocd but it’s wild Bc I keep doubting
@OCDewewew I feel the exact same way. Mine is more of a “real event” that my ocd has latched onto and captured a mental picture and that’s all that keeps replaying in my head. Everything before and after that was completely consensual and this happened two years ago but for come reason it’s circled back to me along with other weird crazy past situations and has caused me so much misery. I’m slowly but surely starting to be mindful but sometimes that picture will pop up and it feels so real.
Yeah I had been sexually assaulted years ago. And now it’s attaching itself to my new relationship. So I think it’s a mix of rocd and real event
@OCDewewew I couldn’t relate more to that. It’s hard to find someone who will understand. I’ve been so afraid to talk to anyone besides my therapist about this bc i know what it sounds like and i know the first thing people will assume is SA. This has been haunting me for a while and I’ve had the hardest time with it but then i remember that my ocd will make me doubt just about anything. I’ve been in worse situations where I’ve truly been pressured or used (i was drunk and don’t remember giving consent) so i think my ocd is using that against my bf. Especially bc my boyfriend is a big guy and I’ve always had a fear of not being able to defend myself or get away in a situation like that. Idk if that makes any sense lol
Yupppp I’m there w you. I know that my bf would never do that to me. And I’m sure yours wouldn’t either. But ocd holds onto little things. Like not verbally saying yes or being technical with stuff if you get what I’m saying. I know it’s not true and that my bf did not SA me, but ocd is so very convincing.
@OCDewewew 100% get it. I even talked to him about what i was feeling and he was so understanding and even felt horrible for making me feel that way. He said he had no intentions of ever pressuring me or making me feel uncomfortable and i think for me it’s always the “what ifs” like “what if i were to say no?” “What if he kept going knowing i didn’t want to” and so on. He said he would never do that and understands what NO means. It’s given me reassurance for sure but of course my ocd will go back to that mental picture and it makes me doubt all over again. This disorder is so exhausting and has caused me to lose out on so much bc of how fearful i am. I just have to keep telling myself “this isn’t real” like they do in movies lmao it’s helped some for sure and i know that if we continue to understand the tricks ocd plays, we will be able to manage it and grab it by the horns. I know we can overcome this. I truly hope you are able to defeat it. I know how debilitating it all can be.
@arp1014 Struggling with this rn
Heyy so has anybody ever experience in rocd like ur scared that what if u liked somebody else or had a crush on somebody else even tho u never had no romantic or sexual feelings for anybody else only ur bf but u still question urself?
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
I’m in a really low place with my ROCD. I feel like I have feelings for someone else & like someone else because of the feelings I have around/about/for this other person I guess. I’m only around this other person when in group settings with friends. I dont want this. I feel nauseous, guilty, all the things as I love my partner so much. I know I struggle with ROCD terribly and I need advice from someone who’s been in my shoes. Is this common in ROCD? Idek
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