Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

Scared

I was out with friends and drank but also smoked (you know what I’m talking about) and now I feel very anxious and paranoid because my mom doesn’t believe in it and she and I had a conversation about how she would lose respect for me if I ever did smoke ya know but before my dad passed he did all the time and that’s why we had that conversation was because she hated that he did and she didn’t want me to be like him or other people that did. Well because I’m from a state that it’s illegal, im scared of done something terrible (even thought soooooooo many people do it even the group of friends I was with just now, they also were there for me too and I was also having a panic attack too so I just feel so terrible that I was embarrassing and also because I was doing something I shouldn’t have been doing that my mom absolutely hates and doesn’t believe in. I regret tonight and it makes everything even OCD symptoms so please take my advice and don’t do it……..it will make EVERYTHING worse

Real Events OCD

OCDHaver

Date posted: 2y

It’s okay, it seems like you were just having fun and living in the moment. It’s okay if you don’t like it or want to continue doing it, but you’re okay, just be responsible I suppose, but you didn’t do anything wrong

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@OCDHaver It’s because of my mom. I’m scared she’s going to hate me and kick me out because she doesn’t like it or believe that people should do it

Darcieeve_

Date posted: 2y

Honestly you are the best judge of whether to tell your mum or not, try and get to a state of where you are more level headed, and then deciede whether you want to. Right a list of pros and cons as to why you feel this would help and why it wouldn’t and maybe if your ocd is telling you to do this rather than you wanting to do this

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ I actually already told her and she was actually really nice about it. It was more of a peer pressure moment when it happened and so she said she was disappointed that I was pressured so easily she even said if it was something I wanted to do that was one thing but to have someone pressure me while I’m drunk then she was disappointed so I’m glad I talked to her but I definitely feel like ocd attached to the guilt and made it more intense where I felt like I had to confess to her like I have with a lot of things because of ocd but overall she was nice about it when I just felt like she was going to hate me which again could of been the ocd talking I don’t know

Darcieeve_

Date posted: 2y

@Just Breathe ❤️ see, things are never as bad as they seem i’m glad you feel a bit better. She could never hate you she loves you, people make mistakes it’s part of life and this is a very minor one

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ I’ve made worse mistakes where I never had bad intentions it was from the lack of knowledge so to speak but still horrible in my ocd mind because of real event ocd but this one just seemed so horrible to me in the moment because it’s a respect thing with my mom but also because I worry way too much about what others think so it makes it really difficult

Darcieeve_

Date posted: 2y

@Just Breathe ❤️ completely understand, have you spoken to your mum about it ?

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ My mom knows everything about me even the real event that I’m worried about currently but she’s always been helpful to an extent she tends to overreact sometimes but I get it

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ Yes I have. I’ve told her everything that’s been bothering me and she’s told me that I need to let the past go and forgive myself but I can’t do it

Darcieeve_

Date posted: 2y

you’ve not done anything wrong, people try things especially growing up, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Your mum no matter what wouldn’t love you any less deep down, it’s just a deterant to stop you from doing it. I wouldn’t persistently smoke though as personally it causes me to have worse anxiety and ocd after ive done it, but in reality everyone’s at least tried it once, everything will be okay ❤️

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ Thank you I just feel so paranoid and scared right now. A million worst case scenario’s are running through my head right now and I feel like I can’t go to work tomorrow because I feel like I already have a migraine and it’s only 5am where I’m at. I slept maybe 4 hours and now I can’t go back to sleep because it hurts behind my eye and I’m scared of what my moms going to say. My friends kept telling me not to tell her but they don’t understand it doesn’t work that way when you have ocd and you feel intense guilt

Darcieeve_

Date posted: 2y

if the situation involves your mum and you’ve spoken about it, this clarifies that she is a lot more concerned for your well being than the situation, if she can forgive you, you can forgive yourself it will just take some time, time is a healer and that is okay

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Darcieeve_ The situation didn’t involve her at all I went to her about it because I felt the need to confess every detail so I did. Then she told me that I needed to move forward and forgive myself but I can’t believe that. I feel like I’m the worst human possible because I was such a stupid teenager who should have known what they were doing but didn’t at the time until years later

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 25w

I’m feeling bad now and scared

Hey everyone, I’m going through something that really shook me up and triggered my OCD. Today I was talking to my mom about how people in our family have been talking badly about my cousin, who’s 17 and pregnant. I haven’t told my cousin anything about what they’re saying, because I don’t want to add any stress to her. I’ve honestly tried to protect her from all the drama. But then my mom told me to be careful about what I say to her, because she’s really worried my cousin could have a miscarriage from stress. She said if that happened and I had told my cousin anything, it would be my fault. I think my mom meant it out of concern, like she just wants to protect my cousin—but the way she said it came off as really harsh and it hurt me. Especially because I’ve never said anything to my cousin and I would never want to cause her any stress. Now my OCD is grabbing onto that fear. Even though I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s making me feel like, “What if something happens to the baby and it somehow ends up being your fault?” Logically, I know that doesn’t make sense. But the guilt and anxiety feel so real, and it’s hard to shake.

Anony1314

Date posted: 19w

Help please.Be honest please. I'm a struggling mom

Am I the P I was always scared to be? Or am I still the amazing mom I once was? I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 16w

So upset with myself. I'm all alone in this.

My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so so wanted in the moment and SO real. Which I don't understand. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?

POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Scared

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community