Why am I still triggered by my ex after moving on with a new boyfriend?

Answer please

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 1,5 year ago now. Later on when we already broke up I found out he had cheated on me in the relationship. It hurt and I got mad but I was over it for a long time. When I heard this I cut off all contact. But still when I see him or see things about him I get triggers, like anxiety and fear. I have an amazing boyfriend now since a month he’s sweet and so much better for me. But it makes me scared that my ex triggers me sometimes when I see him. Does this mean something?

Username: meow meow

Date posted: 2y ago

It means you’re hurt by your ex i guess… doesn’t seem to necessarily have something to do with ur current bf

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 2y ago

@meow Yes he made sure I don’t trust people so often anymore. And I got diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder with started when I was with him so I guess it’s just some sort of trauma?

Username: JB1020JB1020

Date posted: 2y ago

Sorry you're going through this and sorry you were cheated on. That is very difficult and you're strong for having gone through that. Something about your ex makes you anxious - try to pin down what it is. What is the underlying fear or thought that stokes anxiety? What are you worried it means? That you still like your ex more? That your current boyfriend will cheat too? Expose yourself to these thoughts, those that consistently cause anxiety are good candidates to be obsessive fears that intrusive thoughts are targeting. Try to tolerate the uncertainty or anxiety that fear causes while resisting compulsions. You can do it!

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 2y ago

@JB1020 Thankyou! I think it’s both but mostly that I can’t trust my current boyfriend now. Because I also experience a lot of anxiety if he loves me enough and checking everything to see if he cares etc.

Username: Ross Lyn Ross Lyn

Date posted: 42w ago

I’m going through something similar. My ex didn’t cheat on me but he accused me of cheating several times. I never cheated, never even thought of it. I broke up with him after he accused me again and ditched me in a big city. He turned into a really hateful guy. I have to see him almost every day. Every time I see him I have a panic attack. Even though he was abusive (not physically) I miss him for some reason. I feel like a piece of my heart gets chipped away every time I see him. I get triggered all the time and it feels awful. I hope it gets better for you cause I get how debilitating the anxiety is.

Username: DakotaRose

Date posted: 6y ago

does anyone else get obsessive thoughts about their ex while they’re with their current partner? i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 4 years (also my first relationship EVER) and i definitely have PTSD from a lot of it. he broke up with me and i’m so glad that he did, because i don’t know how much longer i would have continued to be in that relationship. the thing is, even though he’s done a lot of fucked up things to me, i don’t have hate for him in my heart. i have these thoughts like “oh if you don’t hate him you must still be in love with him” and they make me panic. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 years. i love him so much, he’s so supportive of me and great. i get these awful thoughts that my ex was “the one” for me, i will never feel the way i did about my ex with my current boyfriend, constantly comparing them, etc. i’ve been to therapy for years now, and have come to the realization that i am self-sabotaging. i’m lost, depressed, and scared. any advice would be appreciated ❤️

Username: ChrisWu

Date posted: 4y ago

Hello everyone, so I'm slowly starting to get better in regards to dating. My ex and me broke up cause I just ran away and he had issues too, but he loves me and I love him so we are currently fwb. The issue I'm having is that ever since we dated or I'm trying to get close again; my brain brings up my old ex a lot or another ex. I was wondering if anyone has ever had their OCD use thoughts like mentioning the old ex's name or something against them?

Username: Nl123ehe

Date posted: 1y ago

Relationship Issues

I’m in a relationship, 8 months now, and my narcissistic (diagnosed) ex and I had broken up about 6 months prior. We would sometimes drunk call each other but that’s about it. Anyhow, my current boyfriend is everything I could ask for. He treats me better than my ex ever could and I love everything about him. I randomly got a feeling about my ex the other day and hyper-fixated on it. I know continue questioning if I still have feelings for my ex even though I know I don’t at all and want nothing more than my current boyfriend. I don’t want reassurance because I know that won’t help, I just want to know if anyone else has ever had this OCD obsession of convincing themselves they want a toxic ex or just an ex back while with someone else? Most of my OCD obsessions are so obnoxious I’d know they couldn’t be true, but this one, while still obnoxious, isn’t as crazy as the others but it hurts 10 times more.

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Why am I still triggered by my ex after moving on with a new boyfriend?

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