allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

sex and guilt

guys i’m freaking out. i told my boyfriend i didn’t want to have sex (i’m afraid i’ll regret it) and i feel so guilty. it’s terrible

Anna,hi!

Date posted: 2y ago

Do not feel guilty, it is okay to say no.

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@Get it done! i feel guilty when i have sex and when i don’t. i don’t know what to do :( when i say no my brain immediately goes to “you’re not attracted to him.” i’m miserable

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@allie05 I went through a period of low sex drive where I felt guilty both ways. Saying no felt like I was hurting him because I WAS attracted to my partner but just didn’t feel sexual urges whatsoever (probably medication/hormones/stressful life stuff). Saying yes felt disrespectful to myself because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous this is exactly how i feel. except when i say no i worry i dont love him and am not attracted to him

Forest13

Date posted: 2y ago

Not wanting to have sex is always okay, if they aren’t supportive of you in that then they don’t deserve to be with you. Everyone has diffrent sex drives and some people crave sex a lot less than others some people like asexual people can not crave sex at all. Talking to a therapist if you feel that w out of be helpful might be good to get to the bottom of how you are feeling, talking to your partner about these feeling would be good too

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@Forest13 (They/she) i’m afraid to talk to him. he told me he is ok but he is also clearly upset. i don’t know what to do :(

Forest13

Date posted: 2y ago

@allie05 Well I jsut want to say that you don’t owe that to him, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex with the person, if they understand that you just don’t feel like it and it’s nothing personal, and their still upset then that’s their problem.

Forest13

Date posted: 2y ago

@allie05 I’m sorry you are in such a stressful situation

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@Forest13 (They/she) thank you so much. i also feel guilty because whenever i say no because i worry “what if i’m not attracted to him”. i want to feel better

Forest13

Date posted: 2y ago

@allie05 That’s definitely your ocd, it’s trying to work off your fears.

anonymous700

Date posted: 2y ago

Omg! I feel the same! Thank you for sharing because I’m currently going through this. I feel shame around sex mainly because i have always used sex to seek validation so i neglected my own sexual desires when it was time to have sex with a partner. I also feel like when I do have sex, I disappointed my mom or dad haha. Weird I know. I recently shared an intimate moment with my partner and felt no connection and so I started to freak out because I questioned if I even liked this person and now I feel guilty. It’s so hard. And I hope you find peace soon and enjoy those intimate moments with your partner without these intrusive thoughts!

Forest13

Date posted: 2y ago

@anonymous700 In many many cultures parents shame their daughter s / people assigned female at birth. For having sexuality, while not treating their sons/ people assigned make at birth like that at all. It’s no wonder at all you feel you are disappointing them by having self pleasure.

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@anonymous700 thank you so much! i’m glad i’m not alone. todays been a rough day.

carol2424

Date posted: 2y ago

do you notice u feel guilty/ ashamed or just low after sex?

allie05

Date posted: 2y ago

@carol2424 yes all the time. what could this be??

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 16w ago

I’m sick of confessing, advice please

I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(

Mariabae

Date posted: 14w ago

i feel bad

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

anonymous737...

Date posted: 6w ago

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

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