allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
sex and guilt
guys i’m freaking out. i told my boyfriend i didn’t want to have sex (i’m afraid i’ll regret it) and i feel so guilty. it’s terrible
Anna,hi! Anna,hi!
- Date posted
- 2y
Do not feel guilty, it is okay to say no.
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@Get it done! i feel guilty when i have sex and when i don’t. i don’t know what to do :( when i say no my brain immediately goes to “you’re not attracted to him.” i’m miserable
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@allie05 I went through a period of low sex drive where I felt guilty both ways. Saying no felt like I was hurting him because I WAS attracted to my partner but just didn’t feel sexual urges whatsoever (probably medication/hormones/stressful life stuff). Saying yes felt disrespectful to myself because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous this is exactly how i feel. except when i say no i worry i dont love him and am not attracted to him
Forest13Forest13
- Date posted
- 2y
Not wanting to have sex is always okay, if they aren’t supportive of you in that then they don’t deserve to be with you. Everyone has diffrent sex drives and some people crave sex a lot less than others some people like asexual people can not crave sex at all. Talking to a therapist if you feel that w out of be helpful might be good to get to the bottom of how you are feeling, talking to your partner about these feeling would be good too
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@Forest13 (They/she) i’m afraid to talk to him. he told me he is ok but he is also clearly upset. i don’t know what to do :(
Forest13Forest13
- Date posted
- 2y
@allie05 Well I jsut want to say that you don’t owe that to him, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex with the person, if they understand that you just don’t feel like it and it’s nothing personal, and their still upset then that’s their problem.
Forest13Forest13
- Date posted
- 2y
@allie05 I’m sorry you are in such a stressful situation
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@Forest13 (They/she) thank you so much. i also feel guilty because whenever i say no because i worry “what if i’m not attracted to him”. i want to feel better
Forest13Forest13
- Date posted
- 2y
@allie05 That’s definitely your ocd, it’s trying to work off your fears.
anonymous700anonymous700
- Date posted
- 2y
Omg! I feel the same! Thank you for sharing because I’m currently going through this. I feel shame around sex mainly because i have always used sex to seek validation so i neglected my own sexual desires when it was time to have sex with a partner. I also feel like when I do have sex, I disappointed my mom or dad haha. Weird I know. I recently shared an intimate moment with my partner and felt no connection and so I started to freak out because I questioned if I even liked this person and now I feel guilty. It’s so hard. And I hope you find peace soon and enjoy those intimate moments with your partner without these intrusive thoughts!
Forest13Forest13
- Date posted
- 2y
@anonymous700 In many many cultures parents shame their daughter s / people assigned female at birth. For having sexuality, while not treating their sons/ people assigned make at birth like that at all. It’s no wonder at all you feel you are disappointing them by having self pleasure.
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@anonymous700 thank you so much! i’m glad i’m not alone. todays been a rough day.
carol2424carol2424
- Date posted
- 2y
do you notice u feel guilty/ ashamed or just low after sex?
allie05allie05
- Date posted
- 2y
@carol2424 yes all the time. what could this be??
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