- Date posted
- 3y
Trust Broken
I open up to my mom about a theme and her first reaction is “do you resent your sister?” Way to victim blame
I open up to my mom about a theme and her first reaction is “do you resent your sister?” Way to victim blame
I think it’s just hard for them to understand, although I have explained things a lot to my mum and she understands she still finds it bizzarre. Sometimes I will tell her about an intrusive thought and she will say ‘why would you want to do that?’ Or ‘what has the cat done wrong to you?’ And there’s been other things but those sorts of questions really make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, just try not to take it to heart, they haven’t been through this so they don’t always understand, maybe take time to try and explain about this problem more
This was the hardest part of treating OCD for me. On top of the suffering from OCD we also have to educate our family members and be patient with their misunderstandings. When people who are close to us are first informed of our distress, it's likely that they will go through grief. It's a good sign, because it means they care about you, but often the first stage of processing grief is denial. I would talk to your therapist to see if they can offer some education to your mother. If you can tolerate it, they might be able to attend therapy with you so you are on the same page.
I literally feel so betrayed and I feel extremely awful about myself now
I agree with lu22. Trying to truly understand and relate yo something that you have not gone through yourself is impossible. Your mom is seeing your issues through a lens that doesn't see your issues in the same way. If she isn't educated on what's going on with you the reaction makes a lot of sense. We will probably never know what drives a person to actually be composed to kill, hurt or rape someone vs having an intense fear that that is what you want. People who go through that are not scared that they may or may not want to. It's probably closer to the feeling that an addict gets when they "need their fix".
Just feel like getting it off my chest since I was little I always felt like my mom was my enemy like she was always competing with me and was always boy thirsty she never really focused on me although it was always me and her because I would never rly see my dad since they weren’t together I feel as if she was never really their it was alway other people taking care of me not her and I hold a lot of resentment towards her because I feel like she try’s to play this role of innocent mom whos kid hates her for no reason but that could be farther frm the truth she would always just focus on her bfs and whenever she would fight with them she would take it out on me or if she would see them making a bond with me she would also get mad the other day too I had memories of when I was 8-9 she would take me to her friends house who had two boys 10-11 and I remember we would always play ruff but their would be times where I remember they would bend me over and hump me and I never said anything I also remembered this one time she took me with this random lady and I only went that one time but I recall a boy who looked to be 13 like a teenager he told me to go under the bed and at the time I was very little like probably no more then 7 and I rember he started touching me and kissing me I never got rapid or anything tho but very touchy and I was telling my bf about it and I started crying because I hadn’t thought abt those things since years ago and now that I remembered I can’t forget and no one knew because I never told anyone but my bf just comforted me and hugged me but it makes me really sad and I know my mom wouldn’t care if I told her she also has kicked me out about 8 times already and we even had a cps case which she still blames me for although it was her fault and she also always does stuff just to upset me on purpose she also made fun of me bien suicidal and would joke about it with anyone she could get the chance too theirs a lot more that I could talk about for hours but this is already very long point is I hold so much anger and resentment towards her and if I’m being completely transparent I truly can say I hate her I feel so bad about it because in the end she is my mom but I can’t forgive her for the stuff she’s done to me and the stuff I’ve had to go through because of her I wish I could fix our relationship but at the same time I feel hopeless and like theirs no fixing it
I have been diagnosed with OCD by a therapist on NOCD for about 4 years now. I went through therapy here and I was officially diagnosed. My mom knows about the diagnosis because I’ve pretty much told her all my struggles and unfortunately confessed a lot of what I was dealing with in the past. She was not understanding at first and told me there was no way I could have OCD that I don’t “clean and organize” like people she has worked with before or been around. I told her that I wanted to go through therapy at the time and she said no and really said some mean and hateful things. Eventually though she did start becoming understanding but not in the way you would think. My mom isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. So talking to her about everything was really hard to go through. Well getting into what’s bothering me….in the past I have thought maybe there was a possibility that I could have autism. I’ve seen people on TikTok talk about it and what they have experienced and it was similar to me but I pushed it aside and never talked about it with anyone. I do struggle with “misophonia” and my mom is also aware of that even though she doesn’t believe in it either and that I’m just “misdiagnosing” myself. Well today she randomly says “There’s a video I watched earlier that I think you should see. I think you have autism. I don’t think you have OCD. You were misdiagnosed and it’s your trauma that is making you think you have OCD.” And it really hit me the wrong way and was quite triggering. The things that I have put in my head and all the hate towards myself before I was diagnosed came back because I was starting to second guess myself. I told her you can have OCD and autism at the same time. There’s no way for me to know unless I’m diagnosed and she said you don’t need to be diagnosed you kind of just know or something like that. But it really put it in my head that I’m making the OCD symptoms up and what if I really was diagnosed and it confirms that I’m a “bad” person. Sometimes I wish I never told my mom anything. She has never really shown care or understanding towards how I have been feeling for years. Who knows, maybe I do have autism but I know for a fact I have OCD. I just hate she put it in my head that theres a possibility I’m an imposter and I’m really what my mind tells me I am. If anyone relates to this please reach out. I’m not really asking for reassurance I just don’t know if I should listen to my mom. Yes I’m an adult. I’m 26 and still live at home. Now that she thinks I have autism, is she going to use it against me too? This sucks so much 💔
I told my mom about my POCD and I feel she didn't get it and now assumes I'm a secret pedophile + recommended me to go to church and ask God to take away these thoughts from my mind. I think I might get therapy anyways, but oh my god, this is a new low for me. I tried so hard to tell her I'm not these things, I'm not my thoughts, I'm not my anxiety, but I feel as if it fell on deaf ears. I should have just kept quiet or said something else was my trigger.
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