- Username
- cmac1339
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Trust Broken
I open up to my mom about a theme and her first reaction is “do you resent your sister?” Way to victim blame
I open up to my mom about a theme and her first reaction is “do you resent your sister?” Way to victim blame
I think it’s just hard for them to understand, although I have explained things a lot to my mum and she understands she still finds it bizzarre. Sometimes I will tell her about an intrusive thought and she will say ‘why would you want to do that?’ Or ‘what has the cat done wrong to you?’ And there’s been other things but those sorts of questions really make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, just try not to take it to heart, they haven’t been through this so they don’t always understand, maybe take time to try and explain about this problem more
This was the hardest part of treating OCD for me. On top of the suffering from OCD we also have to educate our family members and be patient with their misunderstandings. When people who are close to us are first informed of our distress, it's likely that they will go through grief. It's a good sign, because it means they care about you, but often the first stage of processing grief is denial. I would talk to your therapist to see if they can offer some education to your mother. If you can tolerate it, they might be able to attend therapy with you so you are on the same page.
I literally feel so betrayed and I feel extremely awful about myself now
I agree with lu22. Trying to truly understand and relate yo something that you have not gone through yourself is impossible. Your mom is seeing your issues through a lens that doesn't see your issues in the same way. If she isn't educated on what's going on with you the reaction makes a lot of sense. We will probably never know what drives a person to actually be composed to kill, hurt or rape someone vs having an intense fear that that is what you want. People who go through that are not scared that they may or may not want to. It's probably closer to the feeling that an addict gets when they "need their fix".
I’m angry. Irritated. Whatever. I’m in a day program and yesterday they’re freaking out because I was open about my harm ocd. The dr I saw yesterday in the afternoon that wasn’t my actual doctor talked to me and told them it’s just ocd. Today my actual doctor told me to TELL MY FATHER THE THOUGHTS I GET OF STABBING HIM AND MY MOM IN THEIR SLEEP. Because “I don’t think he’d understand if he heard it from me” ME EITHER. Why the HELL would you give meaning to my thought?! Why would you make me tell him?! There’s no purpose, he’s an idiot! He was like “so you get thoughts of murdering us in our sleep” and said “should I be ready”. And then my dumb self mentioned my pocd while trying to explain ocd to him. ?♀️ He’s “trying” to be better then he used to be but he still pisses me off. I miss my best friend, I used to trust her with this stuff. I hate talking about my dad to anyone else.
A few years ago I made the mistake of talking about my real event ocd with my little sister, the one I believe I hurt in the past. She said she doesn't remember what happened, and looked freaked out. She didnt wanna talk about it at all. Now it's been two years and I wanna bring it up again but I'm afraid it'll go the same as it did before. The only way I can see around this is by going to my mom again. She talked to my sister when it all went down because I was crying over how she'll never love me again, but she talked to her alone. Idk about what. I need to know. I need to know if I hurt her or not but she doesnt remember what happened and I read about these child on child sexual assault victims who remember when they're older and I'm afraid that's the case. Shes only 15 now and I'm 18, so idk.
When I was a kid I would get physically and emotionally abuse by my sister after school. I'm 20 years just told my mom accidentally and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I'm now realized how much it really affected me. That same little girl who was scared back then is the same voice as my OCD... Its like my brain forgot a lot of the memories that happened during the abuse. But I can tell you the address to the apartment each room were it was . the apartment was like a maze. I can tell you where the kitchen was and how it looked. I remember the kitchen because the front door was there I ran to it a lot but didn't seem to make it. But somehow I keep thinking and feeIing I was just too sensitive and it really wasn't that bad. I'm being over dramatic and I feel guilty and God doesn't want me to talk about it and he's mad at me for mentioning it. I just don't understand. I feel so broken and conflicted...
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