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My husband and I don’t argue too often but every time we do I always get worried that we are going to split. The issues that we have are not always big but not only has he given me trust issues he also just doesn’t listen. We will go in circles with our disagreements because he just doesn’t see the point and this turns into me getting fed up and freaking out. No matter how mad he makes me it is so hard for me to turn it off and stop being mad when I think about losing him and this creates an anxious attachment. I have started to become detached from our arguments and caring less each time. I don’t know what to do or think and because of our disagreements I get anxiety and always think that he hates me even when he’s being affectionate This is the disagreement we had today that is causing my flare up: I am originally from CA and moved to AZ when I had my baby. My husband doesn’t like being in California and that’s fine but I have to go to California to go get the babies birth certificate because he was born there. I told him 2 weeks ago that I have an opportunity to go because my cousins wanted to come visit and bring me back with them and my mom was going to drive me back to AZ because I wouldn’t have a car. I asked my husband if he wanted to go and I voiced that I would like him to go because I didn’t want to be stuck taking care of the baby by myself because he is a lot of work. He said he would go but he wouldn’t enjoy it. I said he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to and insisted that he would go to help. Today my cousin asked me if we were going for sure and I asked my husband on the spot he was still sleeping. He got upset that I asked him that first thing when he woke up told me that he didn’t want to go and that he didn’t have a choice but to go. I told him if he didn’t have a choice I wouldn’t ask him. He said that if he didn’t go that I would be upset and therefore he doesn’t have a choice. I told him I would be upset and reassured him that I would go alone if he didn’t want to go. (Side note- I have trust issues because of something he did while I was pregnant and I don’t like to leave him alone but I would never say that out loud) We are going in circles at this point and I can’t help but have the ugly thoughts even tho this is our first argument in over a month. I don’t know what to do.

I posted the other day and I'm still panicky and nervous around my girlfriend. It all started over a week ago with the first panic attack I've ever had while at the store with her. I looked over during it and saw her face during it. A day later a thought popped in my head that I should "break up with her." I fight the urge every day as it is not something that I want. I don't want to give up on her but the more I fight it the more my body seems to get stressed and anxious. As it stands right now my back is going crazy, tense as anything along with a tight feeling in my stomach and chest. It's causing me so much distress. Is this normal?

My partner has an anxious attachment style and it's been really hard for me.. I am polyamorous and so I usually see him half the week. He knew this going into a relationship with me but it seems he feels he never has enough time with me. I try so hard to make him happy. There was this one winter break I didn't make plans with anyone just so I could maximize my time with him and he was still unhappy. I'm trying to see my family again after fleeing for over 2 years because of an abusive family member I had. Its gonna require some of my time on the weekend and he said he'd support me but I'm scared to bring it up every time. He can't afford to see me as often anymore bc of the ware and tare on his car. I'm so worried I can't make him happy. He's even struggled with SH at times I've been gone. He says it's not my fault and it's a lot of factors but I can't help but to blame myself. I want to see more of my family again for the 1st time after 3 years next weekend, but I already have another commitment with my step dad. My partner is also always afraid I'm cheating on him, which I would never do. He's just been cheated on a lot in the past but it's hard for him. I just feel terrible about myself bc it feels impossible to make him happy. I don't really want to be judged for being poly, I just have relationship anxiety and I hope I'm not alone.