Does anybody feel weird when they try do to things they enjoyed before this ocd hit? Like I know I like these things but because I'm so into my head my ocd makes it feel forced

Same, I always found these type of shows so funny and never bothered by them now if I do my mind tells me I want to act like that

Yes. I'm having a double feeling of this. I used to not be bothered by anything like this. Then it got to a point where it was surreal like you guys are saying. As I am getting better again now, it feels weird to be getting better. Last night I wore a dress for a comedy skit at an open mic bar and did Chris Farley's lunch lady land dance. Today I went to a gay man's birthday party and gave him a big hug. Then I went to a massage parlor and had halfway through they switched me to a man. The massage part was actually very distressing, but I got through it. The dance and birthday party were fine. I spent a decade in doubt, so now it feels weird to be able to do these things again. We can get better guys. We just need to accept what we have and stop ruminating and start doing treatment. Good luck!

@icandothis, you’re so inspiring holy crap

@scorpio I have this clear memory from when I was a kid. I was at a pool party. I jumped in the pool and I forgot I had no life vest on. I swore I was screaming for help but for some reason they couldn't hear me over the music or something. I kept struggling and I thought I was going to die. I somehow made it to the edge of the pool and grabbed the side. I tried to tell everyone what happened and they were all like... Ya you're fine. It felt like I almost died, but no one saw it, so they didn't understand. That's what this feels like. We're fucking drowning but nobody notices, but they don't understand cause they can't see it. If they saw us checking the locks over and over or scrubbing our hands raw they could. For this... It's the lonliest drowning feeling. But we can make it to the edge, and we can go live again, even though no one will understand what we went through. And that's okay. At least we can share with each other here