- Username
- notfortalk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same, I always found these type of shows so funny and never bothered by them now if I do my mind tells me I want to act like that
Yesss. Or that I was like that
Yes. I'm having a double feeling of this. I used to not be bothered by anything like this. Then it got to a point where it was surreal like you guys are saying. As I am getting better again now, it feels weird to be getting better. Last night I wore a dress for a comedy skit at an open mic bar and did Chris Farley's lunch lady land dance. Today I went to a gay man's birthday party and gave him a big hug. Then I went to a massage parlor and had halfway through they switched me to a man. The massage part was actually very distressing, but I got through it. The dance and birthday party were fine. I spent a decade in doubt, so now it feels weird to be able to do these things again. We can get better guys. We just need to accept what we have and stop ruminating and start doing treatment. Good luck!
@icandothis, you’re so inspiring holy crap
@scorpio I have this clear memory from when I was a kid. I was at a pool party. I jumped in the pool and I forgot I had no life vest on. I swore I was screaming for help but for some reason they couldn't hear me over the music or something. I kept struggling and I thought I was going to die. I somehow made it to the edge of the pool and grabbed the side. I tried to tell everyone what happened and they were all like... Ya you're fine. It felt like I almost died, but no one saw it, so they didn't understand. That's what this feels like. We're fucking drowning but nobody notices, but they don't understand cause they can't see it. If they saw us checking the locks over and over or scrubbing our hands raw they could. For this... It's the lonliest drowning feeling. But we can make it to the edge, and we can go live again, even though no one will understand what we went through. And that's okay. At least we can share with each other here
Yes. I always used to watch rupauls drag race and now it’s making me feel like I watched that because deep down “I always knew”
Anyone else experienced something like this? You’re doing something normal, and you start thinking, what if my ocd attaches to this? And then you make it. Or you’re thinking, what if I can’t do this normally? And that inhibts you from doing so.
It’s so weird how OCD just comes about with no explanation, out of nowhere. My issue has been feelings. I have moments of hyper focusing on feelings, trying to figure them out, and it’s exhausting. Logically, I know that what I’m going through with the things happening in my life (relationship ending that was abusive, my father just getting diagnosed with dementia, etc) would make anyone feel the way I do. But I keep trying to fight my feelings. “Normally, old me” would embrace them and let them be. Ever since my OCD returned, I can’t help but fixate on them and stress even more. It’s almost like my emotions and the way we are as humans in my mind has become even more of a problem than the problems themselves. Can anyone relate? I am doing my best with ERP. I definitely helps. But I’m still waking up not feeling like myself and it hurts.
Anyone notice it’s hard to enjoy things before your brain felt like it broke? My family is the nicest kindest people and I feel like I spend so much time on ocd that I don’t even enjoy them. I put on a smile but on the inside I don’t feel genuine. My faith has also been a huge part of my life and I’m just numb to everything right now. Hope everyone is having a good weekend and can enjoy things.
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