- Date posted
- 2y
please
i want some motivation šš im so sad i dont wanna live w ocd foreverš i just wanna be happy
i want some motivation šš im so sad i dont wanna live w ocd foreverš i just wanna be happy
So let me offer this for motivation, life does get better! When I finally committed to not doing compulsions, I started to feel better. It took awhile, I definitely felt worse initially (I wasnāt doing the compulsions which made me feel better in the moment) so I had to let some time pass where I adjusted to not doing compulsions and feeling somewhat lost while I waited for my mind to adjust to no compulsion/reassurance. I, too, felt sad. I didnāt think I was going to ever feel happy again. However I listened to this podcast where they discussed the difference between pleasure and happiness. I realized I just wanted pleasure, I just wanted to āfeel goodā. Happiness on the other hand comes from our behaviors. Are we actively pursuing things that give us a sense of satisfaction, joy, wonder? I wasnāt, I was waiting for my fear to go away, then I thought Iād be happy. So I started to do things I used to do, things that I used to enjoy, but I had stopped due to ocd fears. I started to read again (even though it stirred up some old fears), I learned a new hobby (crocheting),I started to listen to a wide variety of podcasts (non-ocd š). Initially, I didnāt feel happy with these new activities but I persevered and I started to really enjoy these things! Hang in there it does get better, make sure youāre finding things that will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Good luck!
@VGH thank u so much!!ššš
Not much motivation but more support: you arenāt alone! I am on the same boat as you. I feel like Iām sinking and Iām just letting myself drown. I donāt care anymore but knowing that you feel the same way makes me feel a bit better. I want to be happy too or at least content. One thing for sure: just take things one day at a time! Do what you wanna do! Itās okay to make mistakes along the way. Life is not about figuring things outā¦we make it that way. Life is more about learning to live with the unknown and learning to be okay with not always trying to figure things out
@anonymous700 thanks and good luck <Š·
Don't worry, you got this! Having this app in the first place shows that you are willing and able to take back your life from OCD one step at a time, and I'm positive that you can get past this! And remember that you can always scream into the abyss known as this message board, and we will respond with all the support and advice that we have! :)
Not sure if this is motivation but you're not alone, I'm having a really hard time of it too. The feelings feel unbearable like I will never get better or be my old self again, but I know it's just OCD trying to get my attention. I feel like I just want to switch myself off or something. But we have to keep the faith that the non-engagement will work and things will get easier. Sending love and strength.
@ada110 keep fighting w me!!
@holyshhii Yes. Let's do this šŖš¼
@ada110 this comment encouraged meā¤ļø
I think like this almost everyday. But I try to remember that there are good moments and Iāve been in this place before and Iāve made it out before. I can say this all and still acknowledge that I feel sad knowing that this is how we live, but it will be okay
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever Iām down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illnessā¦. I hate to say it but I hate living right now itās too painful⦠im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now iām 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think Iām gay and didnāt realize or indenial and listen I get it ādonāt look for reassurance!ā āItās not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!ā Hereās the thing with that if Iām in a relationship and Iām gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that āoh yeah that stuff happens and youāll move onā is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didnāt realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it canāt google says otherwise and some people have said it canāt idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I canāt take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why canāt I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the bodyās and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still donāt get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because Iām with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain Iām (demi sexual so I donāt even really care about looks) and I truly didnāt care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I donāt like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldnāt be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didnāt even care about labels before my ocd it just didnāt matter but now itās effected my sex life and itās hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused Iām so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner Iām with right now!!! Iām so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that Iām gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out itās been true all along?!???
I feel like Iāll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. Iāll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. Iāll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. Iām just done, my life is over. I canāt even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like Iām so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That thereās some part of me that is a p*do and thatās it. Iām a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
So after my ocd has become more prominent, it gets harder to fight through these compulsionās everyday. I donāt go to therapy or take any medications and to be honest I am very lost in my journey on how to navigate life with ocd. I donāt want it to take over my life. I want to be able to feel like I can live without a weight on my chest and to finally feel like I can breathe. Any suggestions or words of advice is more than welcome.
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