I know hat thoughts relate to feelings and we’re supposed to accept them but what do you do when you’re overwhelmed by your feelings? Last night I was really tired and apathetic and idk how to just accept that

Have you ever heard of 'radical acceptance'? While I'm not a therapist, I have had a great one whom I still check in with periodically. She and I worked through my OCD primarily by using 'radical acceptance,' which is a part of the bigger idea of Aceeotance and Commitment Therapy. I can assuredly say it completely changed my life. I never want to guarantee that anything will absolutely work for someone else; however, it has good track record for helping with anxiety and OCD. And at this point, what do you risk, really? If you're not familiar, radical acceptance, in a nutshell, is the idea that something doesn't always have to be good or bad, easy or hard, etc. Sometimes they can just be. It really helped me learn how to get out of my feelings and into my life. I can look at things more logically. I will always be emotive. That's part of who I am. And I like that I can feel things deeply...but like you mention, it can get overwhelming. If you have a therapist, my suggestion would bee to mention ACT and/or radical acceptance to them and if they're worthy of their title, they'll know how to walk you through it. I can give you a quick example from my own life. Historically, my compulsions have been internal. Like certain prayers or using certain thoughts to "undo" other ones. I also had (and sometimes still battle with) the constant need for approval/reassurance to the point of asking over and over again if someone is mad at me, if I'm going to be fired...that kind of thing. So an example, with that in mind, is the times when I had a boss and her boss/my coworker go into a room and close the door to talk. Or if they were talking quietly while walking past me. Those would send my mind racing. I would ruminate to no end that I was going to get fired. That I'd done something wrong and wasn't aware of it or that they simply didn't like me. What I have learned to do through ACT and the idea of radical acxeptabce is how to step back and bring some logic to my feelings so they become more bearable and I'm able to get beyond the immediate panic. I can now tell myself things like, "I really have no idea what they're talking about for sure. It does have to mean I'm getting fired. Nor do they have to "like me" in order for me to have my job. The conversation isnt about me unless they come and tell me it is. I have no idea what they are discussing and a conversation doesnt have to be bad. All I know for sure is that 2 people are in a room talking. That is neither good nor bad. It just is." Realizing that sometimes things and just be what they are is so empowering and healing. The other thing that helps me is to not criticize myself when an obsessive thought or low/apathetic mood happens. It's my brain telling me something. Usually in my case, trying to make sure I feel safe. What I've learned to do is stop and tell myself things like "Thanks brain for wanting to protect me. But I'm not in danger. I am safe/secure/well/etc. And I know when I really need your help, you'll know what to do. Thanks mind for wanting to take care of me, but I got this now." And not to say it in a demeaning way, but in the same tone/intention that I would use with a friend who wanted to bring me chicken soup when I was already better. I'm not sure if any of this helps but they are the main things that helped me heal as well as to retrain my brain.

Awesome great advice. What things do you think could help with HOCD? That gives me the worst anxiety

I never really dealt with that personally, tbh. I do have some anxiety with driving but it isn't OCD-related. From a personal standpoint, I can't really say. If it isn't triggering, can you give me just a sentence or two and I can do my best to help find a way to aoply radical acceptance to it. Keep in mind: I'm not a doctor or therapist. I've just been at this a long time. If you have a good doc and/or therapist, I'd suggest having them help you probe a little deeper and maybe bring up ACT and radical acceptance. I'm willing to help look at one idea of applying radical acceptance. But again I'm not a professional so please follow up with one if you find it helpful and/or have more questions on applying it to your specifics. If it is a trigger, I'll look at HOCD examples online a little later. Don't force yourself to give a personal example if it's too triggering right now.

Triggers for me are over analyzing situations any situation, or if a guy walks past ruminating about groinal responses or intrusive thoughts about men: they cause a lot of distress and know for a fact that it’s HOCD. I’m 26 and have never had thoughts distressing like this until recently but it still bothers me. I get so anxious sometimes that I’m numb to women and that distresses me. My whole life has been turned upside down by anxiety 3 years ago and I’m just hoping I can return to myself. It’s Been very hard and the majority of my days are spent with anguish in the mind and tension in the body

Some of my symptoms are brain fog, very lethargic and tension all in my busy. Nothing really gives me relief I just have to sit and idk what to do. I just saw an ocd specialist for first time last week and the last few days have been rough

Oh. Hmm... Thanks for sharing that. It can take a lot to do so. I guess do you have a particular thought in re: to the HOCD that is distressing? Like in the example I shared, mine would have been like "Damn. They shut the door again..." And after all the lies I told myself, it would culminate into one major distressing thought: "I might as well pack up my desk bc they're going to fire me anyway." It was that thought that I used first when I was learning radical acceptance. Do you have an example? If it's triggering, I'll read on HOCD later this evening (It's only 9:35 in my time zone). And I don't mind. It doesn't trigger me. I actually always thought it was Harm OCD like when people worry about hurting someone. I didn't even know what the "H" stood for until tonight. Oh my gosh. Facepalm. It was never one of mine personally but radical acceptance can be applied I'm sure.

If giving an example like I described is triggering or embarrassing then just give me a while to read on HOCD and learn the basics of it, and I'll get back to you.

The distressing thought is what if I’m in denial or in the closet or I would never be happy if I was gay. It’s always been a fear of mine. I worry all the time that I’ll never have happy moments or experience peace again. It’s hard for me to experience a hopeful future. And when I have bad symptoms it’s hard for me to think about anything or anyone else which makes me guilty

I’ve always enjoyed my experiences with women and have always fantasize about women idk why this causes me distress even when I know it’s HOCD

First of all... That's what OCD does. If there was no anxiety, whether we logically understand that it has a label like HOCD or others, it would not be OCD. So you can totally let yourself off the hook with that part. I have a couple things to take care of on the home front but I'll get back to you on applying radical acceptance. Hold on...even if your knuckles turn white. Because there is always hope and it may not actually be as elusive as it seems.

Thanks for helping. If you could give me an example that be great!

I just want to be clear headed again and live a healthy life

Yeah sure. I can try. I actually got super busy the past few days. It may take a little bit. It probably wont be tonight, tbh. But I didn't forget. :)