i feel like my ocd has found evidence from the past that confirms my intrusive thoughts. i’m so scared that everything it says is real. i don’t know what to do anymore. i actually can’t do this anymore. i feel like i’m just a fraud.
Omg I feel like a fraud bring up a past intrusive thoughts because I feel like a fraud. The reason for that is because how long ago the thoughts happened and my memory about how I felt and acted around the thoughts. They feel so distant in my memory. You can do this and you are not alone. Ocd likes to find “stuff” from the past to make your thoughts seem even more real than they are. You will get through it and you are okay.
@Get it done! thank you so much. i still get scared that the thoughts from the past and actions from the past mean something and make me an evil person. but i know in my heart of hearts it’s not true and that’s not who i am. but i just can’t deal with the uncertainty around this. it’s killing me.
I feel that way as well. I won’t get into the details. But I have dealt with ocd evidence as well. I just try to ignore and keep moving forward and have faith and remind myself of how much I’ve survived and how happy and positive I’ve been in the past and throughout life. It is not so bad when I remember my life. And I keep trying to heal everyday even when I have setbacks and obstacles and do the best I can and it is not easy but worth it. My adhd used to give me a hard time bc I felt like I was lazy and not proactive about problem solving in my life. And it taught me how to get up off my ass and solve issues and help myself when no one did. And so now I’m able to be my own therapist a lot but still I need help sometimes especially when life is so debilitating. So I’ve overcome the same challenges with ocd evidence and also adhd making me feel like a fraud.
@Anonymous thank you for sharing :) it’s nice to know others have the same fears. the uncertainty around what the “evidence” could mean scares me. it really makes it feel like proof that it’s not ocd and it really is just who i am, even though the idea of that truly disgusts me. i’m going to try to do erp, i know it will help a lot.
Ocd is the fraud and the liar. It’s really good that you can actually know the difference between you and the ocd talking…. So don’t listen to it… you got this keep the faith. I had some really bad ocd for almost 3 years straight but God brought me out. So there is hope.
my biggest fear is what if i don't actually have ocd and get exposed as a fraud. im afraid i might have been living a lie the whole time. i keep thinking that im not as ill as others here. i feel like i don't deserve attention, it's like im unconsciously invalidating myself all the time and j can't help but think that im an impostor in disguise. that im just doing this for attention. that i just want to be mentally ill to feel like i fit in somewhere. when i show a new ocd symptom im afraid that oh im probably just copying something that i saw off this app here because i want to feel like i truly do have ocd. i know i most likely have it but im so stuck in this loop of doubt. my ocd isn't as severe as it was in the beginning so that makes me feel even more invalid and i have developed impostor syndrome over the years.
i’m sat here on holiday and i don’t think i can do this anymore, in my last post i mentioned i was afraid i was attracted to a 13 year old who looked older, despite knowing this it feels like i still am. i’m so fucking scared it doesn’t feel like ocd and i cant get any help or message my therapist it feels like my worst nightmare has came true, i don’t want to live with this anymore. am i in denial still i cant tell what’s real anymore i don’t want to be here
i’m only 15 i cant. i cant. i don’t even know if it’s real event ocd. it feels like massive weights on me. i cant live just acting like everything’s normal. like i haven’t made mistakes. if people knew the mistakes i’ve made because i didn’t know they were wrong everyone would hate me. i don’t deserve my relationship. i don’t deserve my friendships. i don’t deserve anything. i just want to cry and hold friends and my partner but i’d feel guilty because i feel like the worst person i know. i don’t know how i can just “act normal” and “leave stuff in the past” and “not confess” “move forward and focus in present “ :(
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