My fam says my fears are not their problems and that they can’t help me anymore. Mom just said she’s done and that I need to leave the house. I know they’re right. But now I feel like I have no one.
Thank you everyone for being so kind and loving. My parents are extremely understand of ocd, but have always taken a “tough love” approach in trying to help me, and this time, it just was too much. However, she felt very bad about it and has apologized profusely. I just don’t want to ruin our good relationship and ocd is really trying to get in between us
I’m so sorry, while it’s horrible that your family said that honestly the best thing you can do is leave the house, i know what its like for your fears to keep you trapped in your house but remember avoidance is a compulsion and will only make your fears more prominent xx
@Abbie. Sorry just btw I’m assuming by “leave the house” your mum isn’t kicking you out just wanting you to get out more
@Abbie. She was telling me to leave bc I’m in college and was home for the weekend and was excited to spend some time with her but she said I have made her weekend miserable and exhausting from talking about something I’m worried about.
@iamworthy I’m sorry that you’ve been made to feel like that. Are you seeing anybody about your OCD? - you need to see a professional, family and friends can offer support but it takes an emotional toll and does affect your relationship with them sadly.
@iamworthy Oh my god that’s terrible im sorry, ocd is such strange disorder because it’s so hard for those who don’t have it to fully understand it, if you need to let out your worry’s I’m happy to listen x
Your mum sounds like she’s being really horrible
I’m also her to help and listen :) have you tried talking to a therapist at you college
While it can be hard to deal with a family member with OCD, it is NEVER an excuse to make them feel like a burden or that they are a problem. Your family shouldn’t have made you feel like that period. It doesn’t matter. Love and support shouldn’t be conditional. It is okay for your mom to feel frustrated and overwhelmed but it was not okay to tell you to leave. She could’ve expressed her need to take a break in a way that was more productive and less abandoning. Do you have anyone else that supports you? Have you seen someone on-campus for your OCD?
We're here for you
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having trouble with your family understanding and accepting you. Just know that you are not alone! OCD is taxing on personal relationships. I don’t know anything about your mom, but even the most loving people will have off days and not be able to support! The best thing you can do is try and get the help you need from professionals and support groups like this one! I know I that I’ve burdened a lot of loved ones with my OCD behaviors. It feels good to get help!
This past week I realized I have not friends. It makes me feel lonely. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so my only social life would be work or church. I don’t have a job right now due to medical reasons. But I feel like such a fucking loser right now. The voices of my family and myself are making me feel horrible. “You couldn’t even kill yourself right.” Is what my brother said. He told me I need to grow up and realize that nobody gives a fuck. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I really just a sensitive piece of shit? Am I just being dramatic? I feel so lost right now. I can’t stop comparing myself to others who seem to be doing so well. It’s not like I haven’t been searching for a job. They’ve all turned me down. I’ve gotten help and I know my resume is great. Maybe my dad is right that it’s really just how I am. People are hired because of the way they are. I am not outgoing or friendly or approachable and it makes me hate myself so much. I know I can’t kill myself. I can’t put that financial and emotional burden on my family. I’m already enough of a burden as it is. I know that I’m “never a burden,” but the truth is I am. My mom even admitted that I was the most burden of a child and it makes me feel so guilty. I wish they didn’t love me. It’s so selfish and horrible to say that. I know there’s someone out there who deserves my life and family more than I do. I deserve punishment and failure. But I want an answer. It’s impossible to know the future. Am I right? Am I really destined for failure? If only I got that answer I’d be relieved. It’s not the ideal answer, but it’s still an answer. I don’t have to try anymore. It’s fucking tiring. I know I’m not alone. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to realize that this is real life and life’s not fair.
No one understands what I’m going through. My husband used to be my biggest supporter but not we’re separated and I try to explain to my parents why I’m upset when I have panic attacks but they don’t get it. For Example: This morning I told my mom I was having a panic attack. And she just kept asking “why? What’s wrong? U were so happy yesterday. When I said, I didn’t know I just was having this panic attack. She did not understand one bit. She just kept asking me why why why? And I’m like I don’t know. 😭 it makes me just wanna stay away from everyone and just isolate because people don’t understand. I know it’s not their fault. I’m actually glad they don’t understand because that means they’re not going through the pain I’m going through.
Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.
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