EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

Having a partner with no ocd/anxiety

Does anyone else have a partner with almost no anxiety/OCD. I guess opposites attract but my gosh it can you make you feel so alone and isolated in the relationship. Or more so just “less than”. The “crazy one”. I’ll even convince myself I’m not good enough for him because he has such good mental health. I’ve been honest about my ocd with him but I’ve never shared with him my intrusive thoughts that are taboo. Especially harm ocd because he literally has almost next to no anxiety (I’m jealous lol) Do you guys think it’s completely necessary to tell your partner everything about your ocd? Confessing is a huge compulsion of mine so it’s difficult to keep it from him but I’m afraid he’d think I am nuts. I am just not ready.

Stay strong 🙌🏻💪🏻

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

🙋🏻‍♀️ , i would feel the need to confess everything, but i wouldnt bc i felt like he would leave me and i would loose him. When i had a complete breakdown and i started telling him things like "i cant do this anymore" or " i need to be in a psych ward" he was completely freaking out bc he thought i was fine. Long story short, i made him drag me to a psych ward, i got sent home and was told i needed rest, and got some meds. He took it upon himself to research... He was fully supportive in the best possible wayy he could. It def wasnt easy, and it def took a toll in our marriage bc i wasnt speaking about what was going on. But now its like we balance ourselves out. I kinda like that hes the non anxiety one. Imagine if we were both an anxiety mess .... Lol

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

@Stay strong 🙌🏻💪🏻 What an amazing story. I’m glad he was a supportive understanding partner. I remind myself all the time they just bc my partner can’t always understand since he doesn’t have it, doesn’t mean that’s a bad thing. Everyone has a diff struggle in life and that’s just not his. What matters the most is that they are willing to stick beside you and support even if they don’t understand. I believe that’s what things like this app are for to remind us that we aren’t alone. 💖

Stay strong 🙌🏻💪🏻

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Itsheathersocd Yesss! Exactly it just isnt his. And im okay with that, for a long time it made me angry but now i understand! This app really helps with not feeling feeling alone or misunderstood. 😊

Cry me a river

Date posted: 2y

I’m struggling with confessing to it’s so difficult

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

@Cry me a river I understand. Hang in there and try to resist.

A. V.

Date posted: 2y

i suggest that you tell your partner that you have anxiety and ocd, since it's an important fact that may condition your relationship, but not try to relay on other compulsions. just tell them and answer their questions about your anxiety/ocd, so they can understand why you may look anxious or worried at times. but you don't have to do the rest of compulsions. i don't know if i'm explaining myself?

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

@A. V. (he/they) Yes you are!! Thank you!!

minutebyminute

Date posted: 2y

Yes, I also have a partner who has very little anxiety and seems to have it all together mentally. I like that he's stable actually because I'm a mess. Occasionally it will hurt my feelings when he doesn't seem to understand or empathize. I don't think it's necessary to tell him about your OCD, especially if you struggle with confessing. If you think a relationship with this particular someone is worth the work, then keep doing the work to keep it up! I know that my mental health is a me problem and not something that he can really do anything for other than just support me when I'm not okay. I tell myself to go to therapy, do your own work. It's hard having OCD.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

@minutebyminute Sounds so similar to me and what I go through. He knows I have Ocd/anxiety but I’ve chosen to not tell him all my intrusive thoughts. It’s hard for me bc I used to always look for reassurance and confessing as my compulsion but the truth is, our partners can’t “fix us” especially if they don’t have it. And that is okay. They can support our recovery though and that’s as far as it goes in our relationship. I just tell my therapist everything I don’t want to tell him and I’ve learned that I don’t have to tell him. It’s been freeing to learn that I don’t have to confess to my partner but I have my bad days where I have the urge to tell him literally everything. Ocd is indeed difficult!

minutebyminute

Date posted: 2y

@Itsheathersocd This is really good because we recognize what we are doing and struggling with. Some people don't even know so at least we can stop ourselves from going overboard and seeking reassurance. It's hard when it's literally the only thing that makes you feel better but it's actually bad for you.

clevermind

Date posted: 2y

My husband seems to have great mental health no anxiety, definitely no ocd. Yet he's surrounded by many who have mental illness oldest son adhd, middle child autism and me his wife ocd. I don't confess my ocd thoughts to him because they're not real but rather there intrusive. So I see it as... confessing? Confessing what? False thoughts? Nah I don't think so... it's the ocd mental disorder acting out if wack again there just intrusive false thoughts so I just continue on.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y

@Jingle bells This helps so much. You are right. Why confess something that doesn’t matter

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18w

Dating someone with worse OCD

I’ve struggled a lot with mental illness (severe social anxiety, depression, OCD), but have done a lot of work to get to the great place that I’m at now. I feel like a different person compared to how I felt a few years ago. Here’s my question: I started seeing someone really important to me. We’re not official yet, but we’ve been in each others lives for years and it feels like it’s the real deal. He struggles with OCD, and it’s much worse than mine ever was. My question is, do you think this is healthy for me, as someone who has done the work to get to a better place? He’s not in therapy, he’s against medication (I love my meds — they changed my life), and is generally in a different place than I am mentally.

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 15w

OCD Guilt

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Telling a loved one you have a specific subtype

Hi all, I would really appreciate some advice on how you told a loved one about having ocd, specifically a significant other. I’ve been with mine for over 5 years, and I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. To be honest, with the subtype I have, it’s really crippling to deal with, and I have a major worry of my partner not understanding the subtype. I would love to get some advice on how to best approach it and how to provide understanding that I’m still the same person. Thanks!

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Having a partner with no ocd/anxiety

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