- Date posted
- 2y
I Think I May Have Somatic OCD
Hello everyone, new user here. I think I may have Somatic OCD. Just a week ago, after having trouble breathing while lying flat, I began to be aware of my breathing. Right now, it's on and off, but I spend the majority of my days consciously breathing, which makes me feel awful. I really could use some help. I have experienced manual breathing in the past, but each time it was short-lived and I got over it quickly. Now I'm thinking about it every day, and even if I do get over it for a moment, the thoughts eventually circle back and I become aware of my breathing again. I match up with four of the compulsions described in the NOCD blog explaining Somatic OCD: distraction, excessive research, self-reassurance, and reassurance seeking. I was hoping these wouldn't be listed, but since they are, I'm starting to feel hopeless. Does it mean that my relieving thoughts are irrational? Will I have to live with this all my life? I don't have a fear of forgetting to breathe or not breathing. I am fully aware that breathing is always automatic, I just hate the feeling of conscious breathing. I'm constantly uncomfortable. I see a lot of people saying that they've lived with it for years, and have gotten used to it over time, but I don't want that. I want to get over it. I want this to eventually pass so I can go back to living normally again. Some say it doesn't matter if the awareness is there permanently, as long as it doesn't make them anxious, but I'm not anxious, at least I don't think I am. I'm just uncomfortable and tired. I've always minor issues with breathing. My breathing has always been loud and I've always had sinus issues. Actually, just a day ago I went to a clinic and found out my left nostril is slightly closed up. But it's never caused prolonged awareness of my breathing. In fact, my breathing has even been pointed out by others many times, and this would never happen. I'm 15 years old. My father is going on a trip soon and says he can't schedule therapy for me until December. I just want things to go back to normal. I'm in tears as I write this. I'm so emotional because this is so frustrating and difficult to get over. I really hope I can get help here.