Curious. Some people obsess and worry about things that they believe to be unique. What is your theme? What are some of the things you’ve obsessed about?
This is a hard question to answer. I think harm/fear of psychosis is the weirdest for me. The harm thoughts are absolutely ego dystonic but my brain latches on to them.
I was always able to easily let go of previous obsessions but my latest has been the hardest, because my brain convinces me that it’s real and it’s something I should truly be concerned about. I obsess about people’s brains and why we think and do things the way we do. It makes me feel like we are all so predictable and I question what is the point of everything, what are we even doing. I hyper focus on things that don’t have answers and solutions. Life, people, etc. existential stuff. It’s so scary. Sometimes I convince myself that everything is meaningless and pointless and that is when I get depressed. Sometimes I’ll think about the human brain and how scary it can be. We are capable of believing anything and our true reality is how we see the world.. so then I obsess about perspectives, like how do we all have our own beliefs and perspectives? And how do we know what is actually true? If we are all believing different things not knowing what is actually true, what is even the point? I also question my own feelings. Which sucks. It goes on, but it’s all existential stuff. And I noticed these thoughts and feelings didn’t even happen until I experienced complex trauma and abuse. But I just don’t see the world the way I used to. And it makes me feel broken. Like everyone around me is blissfully unaware, living their lives on autopilot and I see the “truth” so I just feel alone. How crazy is that? It’s ridiculous. I don’t even know what my problem is. My brain wants me to think that I’m alone in this. ERP has definitely helped and I’m so glad I’ve discovered it. I’ve been better most days but the last few days have been ROUGH.
@Taylor10 Thank you for sharing. That truly sounds terrifying and lonely 😞 praying for you ❤️
@Taylor10 I have frequent thoughts such as this. Especially at night before bed. Existentialism is both fascinating and terrifying. You are not alone in questioning everything. I think deep down, we all do. The human experience is truly a beautiful disaster. I think it’s incredible when you think of how old the earth is versus what short amount of time humans have been here.
@LavenderGreyhound There is definitely a positive way to look at it. Some of the mysteriousness can be a beautiful thing. I guess I’m just frustrated with the fact that I used to be happy, excited about life, naturally optimistic, etc. and now it’s just…different. Like why? How does this even happen? It’s just maddening.
@Taylor10 I think it is a normal side effect of getting older. Even though I experienced a very chaotic and traumatic household growing up, I definitely had rose colored glasses on. I think it is easier to feel happy and joyful when you’re younger, you don’t have near as many responsibilities or daily stresses like you do as an adult. As we grow older we experience a lot more and become more aware of the horrors that take place on this earth. Which then affects our perspective on a lot of things. I am trying to work on being more positive myself but it is especially difficult to do having OCD, which is literally known as the doubting disorder. Because it will make you doubt everything. I am currently working with a therapist but I also need to get back on meds through a psychiatrist. I’m sorry you are also going through a difficult time right now.
@LavenderGreyhound Thanks💗 yes I’ve noticed that I doubt everything. I constantly come up with stuff in my head that just worries me and brings me down. I didn’t used to do that. Everything used to make sense. Everything had an answer and I was satisfied with those answers. Now it’s the opposite. Nothing has an answer and if it does, I doubt it. Then I become frustrated with the fact that our minds as humans are all different and I find it hard to accept. Idk what happened to my poor brain but I want my old brain back that’s for sure.
Lol idk, it varies…I had different themes. I think reading other peoples different themes affected me…because I would try to think like them….or like the details of their post would stay in my mind if that makes sense…. I’ve had obsessions and weird thoughts that I was gay lol….which I’m not. Harm ocd, religious ocd…I was completely convinced that I was schizophrenic like two weeks ago…. And now I have a false memory that I did something morally wrong to a family member…..so it’s been pretty much all over the place.
I’ve had the whole gamut 😂😂😩🫠😩 Weirdest one for me recently was obsessing that I had adhd. Now it doesn’t bother me in the least bit. Now I mainly struggle with harm/false memory themes
I used to be obsessed with tornados. Anytime the sky went a tiny bit dark, or if it rained a little (or even if one funny looking cloud popped up in a clear blue sky), I was immediately on tornado lookout.
It has varied through my life. Always manifesting in different ways so it was hard to spot. Started when i was young i thought our house would burn down. Then it changed to a fear of throwing up. Then i was afraid i had appendicitis. The current one is fear that i am not truly saved. This one i have struggled with the longest (over 13 years). I’m learning about ERP and how it is the best way to deal with it though. It’s scary when it’s not something physical that you can check and assure yourself of 😳
@Am I? I agree. So scary when it’s not something you can truly check
I used to convince myself that if I went swimming or had a bath I was going to get pregnant 😂 I used to ask my mum for reassurance at least 100 times before going anywhere near water and search on Google if it was possible that I would get pregnant. I don't know why but that's probably the weirdest obsession I've had. 😭
If you can elaborate on them, I would be more than happy.
Hi I’m new to the community and I have such weird ocd tendencies I was curious to see if anyone else has so I’m just going to list them in no specific order: 1. My brain goes “I hope” every time I think of something bad happening. Like “I hope that pedestrian gets hit by a car” or “I hope a demon snatches me under the bed right now.” 2. I have dermatillomania mostly on my arms, chest, face, and shoulders. If I have a bunch of open wounds on my body, I make myself feel “cleaner” by doing an everything shave in the shower. Conversely, if I’m having a period of mostly healed skin, I like to leave my body hair growing out for a couple days as a way to gloat to myself how “clean” I am even without shaving. 3. After my whole life living with these symptoms, most of them I’m able to brush off. But this next one still shakes me and disturbs me to my core every time it happens and it’s picturing sex acts with people I would NEVER want to do sex acts with. My earliest memory of this is when I was a little kid, as young as 5 years old, I had an image in mind of what I thought God looked like. Every time I would imagine God, I would automatically imagine him naked and I would shove my head under the pillow and shut my eyes tightly and try to make the image go away because I thought I was being blasphemous by imagining such a thing. 4. This one is relatively new, the past year or two, but cutting my own bangs. The only reason I consider it an ocd tendency and not just self sufficiency is because I SUCK at it and botch it every time!!! But I keep trying to find the perfect parting that contours to all the existing cowlicks and kinks in my hair and try to carve out my “natural bangs.” I convince myself a hairdresser is just not familiar enough with my hair growth patterns to give me what I want. This one is particularly embarrassing because it’s like I’m wearing my mental illness on my face. I have been wearing a headband for the past year to try and hide it but it doesn’t stop me from cutting it again because I am so insistent to get it right. I always regret it after. 5. I don’t know if this one is ocd but I suspect it might be and it’s that I rarely ever am not drinking water. If I finish a glass I’m filling up another one. Sometimes it will be a different beverage like coffee or matcha but I almost always am sipping compulsively on something. I use the bathroom about once every hour and 3-4 each night. That’s all I can think of for now but I wanted to share some atypical traits to see if anyone relates! This isn’t by any means all of my ocd tendencies unfortunately:/ just the ones I’ve never heard anyone else share before!
My current obsession is around mental health, specifically that I have undiagnosed Bipolar 2. Any changes in my mood are triggering and in my compulsive googling to make myself feel better (never works lol) I discovered that ocd and bipolar are linked in like 10-20% of cases?! So now I feel worse. Anyone else experience mental health fears?
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