- Date posted
- 2y
false memory ocd with really awful topics
Does anyone know how to deal with uncertainty when the false memory is something really awful. I just feel sick and depressed all the time thinking about it :(
Does anyone know how to deal with uncertainty when the false memory is something really awful. I just feel sick and depressed all the time thinking about it :(
Hello! I totally went through the same thing and I understand completely what you are going through. Sadly no amount of reassurance or rumination will ever satisfy the OCD monster. The only way to beat the OCD monster is to starve it by not ruminating and not seeking reassurance. I know how hard it is at first, seems like it’s impossible. I never thought I could get better but I have with this technique and medication. Try to focus on what is going on around you. Try going 5 minutes with ruminating, where you are going to completely ignore the thoughts. After 5 minutes do all the rumination you want. Then do the same for 10,20,30, etc minutes and build up your tolerance. 1% better everyday and in 100 days you will be 100% better! You got this! Let me know if you have any questions
Hi, what medicine worked for you, I know everyone is different so just wondering, thanks!
@Anonymous Hello! I have tried almost every med lol. Right now a combo of Gabapentin, Latuda, and Prozac has been working for more for over a year. Just don’t give up if the current med isn’t working. I know how frustrating it can get when having to start a new one. You will find the right one. Make sure to keep your doctor updated and let them know how you are feeling!
@NOCD Advocate - Greg J. Hi! Is it normal that when you first try stopping ruminating you feel sick to your stomach and like you are awful?
@LynnOCDbattle Yeah I remember in the height of OCD I didn’t eat for like a week. Try to not overwhelm yourself as this is hard work. How much progress have you made? Try breaking your exposures into small steps that won’t overwhelm you and build yourself up from there. Do exposures that are more manageable at first then as you build a tolerance to uncertainty you can do harder more difficult and more anxiety provoking exposures.
@NOCD Advocate - Greg J. I’ve made minimal progress as this is a new theme for me. My theme used to be HOCD. I just don’t get how this false fear could never not bother me. But I’ll keep practicing in small bits
@LynnOCDbattle Does your old theme still bother you? Or does it not affect you that much even though you thought back then you would never get over this thought? Trust me you can and will when you put in the work. I really thought I would never recover but day by day I got closer and closer to my goal. The false fear is terrible I totally understand. But the way to beat this is accepting the uncertainty if the thought is true or not. When you get the thought simply think “Idk if that is true, it could be, Idc I’m going to move on with life” every time the OCD thought comes in
@NOCD Advocate - Greg J. That’s a fair point you made. I am not bothered by my old theme and wasn’t sure how I would get through that. Right now, it just feels like if I accept uncertainty I’m a terrible person
@LynnOCDbattle Yeah I get that feeling. I felt that same thing too. OCD makes you think you’ll be stuck with this theme or thought forever, but that’s completely untrue. Like you saw with your last theme the thoughts did go away and you now know the thoughts were not true. Just keep pushing and you’ll get to the same point with this theme and all future possible themes.
@NOCD Advocate - Greg J. Thanks for all your support. Means a lot. And this was the encouragement I needed.
@LynnOCDbattle You got this!!
Yes I deal with false memory also but learned to live with uncertainty and try to enjoy every moment of life and be greatful
False memory OCD is such a pest. It’s really hard to deal with the feelings of certainty and anxiety, trying to discern if things are false memories or real memories, what if they’re real memories, what if my OCD is right, what if because my OCD was right about one thing it’s also right about this thing, what if it knows something I don’t or haven’t realized yet, what if the real memory it’s taking from is actually false and the false memory is true. And it’s worse because the theme and false memory is so high stakes and it’s terrifying to consider what if it’s actually true and the consequences, but that only feeds the OCD, and it doesn’t help that I keep mentally prodding at it to see if the feelings of certainty are still there. It makes the false memories seem so real, and it’s like it wants me to admit the false memory actually happened when I don’t know that it did, and I’ll never know. I try to sit with the uncertainty but my OCD makes this feel so real and it creates so much certainty that this did happen that it’s so hard to keep telling myself that I don’t know, that this could be a real memory or it might not be and I’ll never know, and to remember that this came up a few days ago and I was pretty sure it was a false memory and I was handling it. Like remembering the false memory made it an actual memory. I have no idea if any of this makes any sense - it’s getting so meta lol. Reading all of this, it’s no wonder it’s so hard to sit with the uncertainty about if it’s a real memory or false. It’s been on my mind over the last week, too, which probably doesn’t help things, because the deeper I try to delve into it, the more complicated it becomes, and trying to point out that logically, it doesn’t make any sense, doesn’t help because my OCD comes up with scenarios and what-ifs and ways that this could have happened. It’s really tough to sit with when my OCD is so convinced this is true and it wants me to be convinced, too. I could really use some support, validation, encouragement, anything. If you made it this far, thanks for reading - please take care of yourselves. ❤️🤗
I experience crippling, debilitating false memory OCD. It started with a “what if” thought 6 days ago and has spiraled into a never ending loop. My mind is telling me that “maybe you did this terrible, awful, unforgivable thing years ago and you don’t remember it and it’s only a matter of time before it catches up to you and your life is over” I’m really needing some coping mechanisms and support. I’m really scared and my body is exhausted. I just want it to stop. It is full panic attack all day, every day. Please if anyone can relate or help me.
Hello everybody I just am looking for someone to talk to about my harm ocd / false memory/ sexual intrusiveness. Anyone who has healed or found ways to deal with the illness. Feels like I’m losing hope more and more everyday. I want to be okay but it’s hard living with uncertainty and unwanted urges of doing something terrible. Thanks god bless.
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