I want some relationship advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We’re both Juniors in high school he’s currently taking college classes while I’m still trying to pass the tsi exam to take college classes. I’m 17 and he’s 16 years old. The problem is that recently we got into this argument or I don’t know what exactly it is but what happened was that I got upset or sad I was hurt by something that I saw on his Instagram messages I then texted him saying I wanted space but I didn’t specify on why I wanted space and he asked me why and it took me a while to say the reason and he said that he’s mentally exhausted when I don’t say the reason that on why I’m upset because he doesn’t know what he did wrong and during the time that I don’t open up he’ll get anxiety or panic attacks he also said that he’s not hiding anything and I sorta believe him but he said that all those times that him and I argue or don’t communicate exhausted him mentally but forward I understood and I’m currently trying to not cause any problems anymore to not lose him but he said something that from his perspective we should be breaking up but that he doesn’t want to. He also mentioned that couples should love each other first before loving someone else and that they should be mentally prepared and oh he also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t wanna worry about anything but he knows it’s not possible but anyways fast to today we were having a normal day when lunch hit. He started with i have a question but it’s not true it’s not real it doesn’t mean it’s true all those type of things and then he said hypothetically not true and all he kept saying not true he said what would you do if we broke up? And since then I’ve been struggling all day because I feel like he’s gonna leave me.

LavenderGrey...

Date posted: 2y

I am saying this as a person who has longggg been out of high school but who experienced a relationship for a handful of years that had toxic cycles to it in high school. If the relationship is causing you more heartache than joy, it needs to end. If you feel lonelier dating someone than you do when you’re single, it needs to end. If you feel like the arguments you’re having or the feelings you’re experiencing are making you literally feel like you’re going insane, it needs to end. You mentioned seeing messages on his Instagram. May I ask if you went through his phone? Or did you just so happen to see messages while viewing his phone together? If you EVER feel the need to go through someone’s phone, the relationship probably needs to end. If you feel you can’t even trust someone with a cellphone, it is probably time to reevaluate the relationship. Because time has taught me, if you caught them messaging other women, it is basically guaranteed they’ll do it again. They just become better at hiding it. Don’t ignore the red flags when you see them. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Set boundaries for yourself, it just means you are choosing YOURSELF. It’s okay to be selfish and not let others drag you around or constantly keep toying with you. Dating is just essentially trial and error until you feel you’ve found a solid partner. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them too.

SaturnzHalo

Date posted: 2y

During teenage years, love is strong af, which also makes it hurt more. Communication is key, and it seems like you guys lack that, which i wouldn't blame either of you, communication is extremely hard to maintain, but because of all these doubts going on, i do not think this is a healthy relationship.

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 2y

I didn’t learn this till much later, but in your teens (and beyond) you still want to put yourself first, before your significant other. I know loving yourself first sounds selfish and loving another sounds like the purer of love, but you’re both still growing so drastically right now. Whether or not you two part ways tomorrow or stay together for decades, you are with yourself for your whole life. If you can’t love yourself, it really does impede your ability to love another deeply. No matter what happens, I’m sending you strength and comfort. 💪🏼💜

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

Relationship

I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.

cam123

Date posted: 23w

Stressing about my relationship

Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?

djohnswon

Date posted: 18w

Relationship Troubles

Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.

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I want some relationship advice.

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