Whatever it is that we are unwilling to tolerate uncertainty about, that's likely what OCD will latch onto. Remember that the content of OCD thoughts say nothing about your character other than what it is that you love most. What are some things that OCD has latched onto in your experience?
Fear I'd hurt a loved one, fear I hated all kids, fear I was a serial killer, my life and ending it, my health and If I have an illness, driving...what kind of person I am, if I'll go crazy and be out of control or get psychosis. Before this illness i used to sit and be so grateful for all these things now I question everything. I want it to all come back to the way it was. I'm trying so hard
@triciabcl2 I feel the same way you do
@triciabcl2 Me too
@triciabcl2 This is me exactly!!!
@triciabcl2 OCD is attacking everything I value. I have my first therapy session tomorrow and I’m not sure where to start. They say start with the small obsessions first but there are no small ones for me.
@Volballgirl Once you’re there it’ll come to you, your therapist will help you start dont worry
@triciabcl2 My daughter is going through the same thing. Her thoughts tell her you will hurt your parents and she starts crying.
@triciabcl2 i have quite literally experienced the same feelings as every single thing you listed. I am struggling right now and it is so difficult but we can get through it!❤️
Anything related to my boyfriend and our relationship. He is my best friend and my whole world! And OCD wants to destroy it! I hate OCD!
@bablti What if….I understand. Whatever happens, you can handle it.
@bablti I feel you. My worst fear is losing him.
@Dj-is-trying I feel you guys 🥹
@bablti I know how you feel. And you can’t explain it to them because I’m like “I’m worried I don’t actually like you” like what is that 😂
@bablti This is me currently. I’ve had OCD for 20 years, and the obsessions have moved around as my values changed, but my most recent flareup is entirely focused on our relationship. I’m terrified I will do something to make him leave or vice versa.
My past
Harming the ones I love so deeply, their my world. I used to get health anxiety about getting cancer, MS (Multiple Sclerosis) a new one I’ve experienced is fear of getting psychosis or Schz and how it would affect the way I see my family and I end up hurting them. I’m actually barely getting over that one. Other than that I feel like I’ve overcome about 90%
@auggiec017 Did you take medication?
@auggiec017 Exactly the same here!
@bre10123f Nope no meds
@auggiec017 Yep all same! It’s crazy I’ve seen so many accounts of people with OCD think they have MS. Why MS specifically? (Cancer makes more sense bc it seems like everything can give you cancer at this point but not MS) Makes you think. But I’ve had all of these as well as unfortunate intrusive sexual thoughts and fear of being a pedo.
@Nell. I believe it might have to do with how the disease affects the nervous system!!! How if you were to get it you would become paralyzed, have speech problems, can’t eat properly, have neuropathy and all these other conditions associated with the disease. I stressed myself to the point where I was getting twitches all over my body and my spine would burn and tingle it freaked me the hell out
@Nell. I’ve only had those types of intrusive thoughts a handful of times they were pretty easy for me to brush off but when it comes to harming someone it’s the worst because I’m a lover and having thoughts about the opposite is like my enemy.
@auggiec017 Yeah the harm thoughts also scare me and give me so much anxiety that it steals actual joy from when I’m spending time with my loved ones 😭 and then that makes them worse because I worry I can’t love if I can’t feel joy… if that makes sense?
@Nell. I understand you completely!!! You love deeply and passionately so when your around your children or family you can’t enjoy the time you want with them because your almost battling thoughts that give images or words that say to harm them. You look at life a whole lot differently I’m sure too cuz that’s what happened to me. I. Feel ever since those types of Thoughts invaded my mind I can’t enjoy life as much as I used to. Like I still do enjoy life but it’s so much different. Almost surreal
@auggiec017 Yeah totally. It’s like you’re living outside of yourself. And ignorance was bliss before you knew these thoughts even existed. I just want to experience true joy and happiness again 😞
@Nell. Spot on exactly how it feels, we could’ve done life without knowing these types of thoughts existed. And honestly I believe you can!! It just takes some time and commitment to yourself to want that. Remember you have the Power and authority over those thoughts. We can’t allow those shitty ass thoughts to ever steal our joy no matter how difficult, there will be brighter days just keep having faith in yourself, the tools you’ve learned and take good care of your health and sleep :)
@auggiec017 Yes, thanks for the hopeful words. Waiting for the time in my life that i can look back on these and think you’re silly for ever thinking that. So for now just ride it out and have faith in myself! Also yes health and sleep ARE MAJOR!!
@auggiec017 Im also fearing of having psychosis/schz. If you don’t mind me asking what starts making it feel that way?
@🐣🌱 It’s gonna sound so dumb but for me I was stressing for months about my children’s future, I catastrophized everything that could potentially happen to them from being in foster care if I died to being out on the streets with no money I mean the list was long. I love them so so much that I stressed greatly about their futures. I had went out with some friends to a bar which I hadn’t done in a long time and had way too many shots and drinks so when I got home drunk the next day and I woke up I was stressing again and I think my nervous system was overloaded and I had a mental breakdown and a crap ton of intrusive thoughts flooded my mind and from there extreme anxitey set in and a whole bunch of more thoughts came. I stressed so badly that I started to have ear pain for like 3 weeks and I sleep with the ac on so i think since my anxiety was so damn high that I thought I heard a voice say “Hey” but in my mind I imagined it and then a whole can of what if thoughts came up about psychosis and Schz and I freaked out so damn much and that’s how I developed the obsession with that bullshit and I’m barely getting over that cuz I had time to calm down and be restored to a calmer state of mind.
@🐣🌱 Do you have IG?
@auggiec017 actually it’s @ni2honi
@auggiec017 I got overloaded with work and anxiety. There isn’t a thought I haven’t thought of in the past 8 weeks. It’s a living nightmare. I’m taking Sertraline now for about 5 weeks but I’m not feeling much affect. Maybe a little idk.
@Volballgirl I noticed that meds don’t help me much. I’ve tried Sertraline and Lexapro.
My ocd latched on to my imagination. I used to enjoy playing with my thoughts and having wild imaginings. I got stuck on thoughts about my thoughts. Then it was off to the races. This happened many years ago when ocd was limited to contamination and repeating rituals. I thought I was losing my mind and going crazy. I could go on & on…who knew??
@Dee C Same, I used to love to solve problems but my mind hyper focuses on my thoughts and it sucks.
@Swissguy73 It’s super annoying
Another thing I have is obsessing over my own mind, why I don’t feel normal, how to feel “normal” and having derealization
@Taylor10 I suffer from this too along with my harm ocd.
@bre10123f I don’t have the existential stuff but harm and sexual ocd r a nightmare. The past day and a half have been decent. Still flooded with thoughts but trying not to let it bother me and give ocd what it wants. It’s very difficult. My inner dialog is the tormenter really. The thoughts r disturbing and my first response is to run away from the trigger which is almost everything. But it’s kinda working. Don’t give up!! I have hope today. I’ve been spiraling everyday for weeks now and yesterday and today has been my first real glimmer of hope!
I'm a musician, and it has latched on to every instrument I enjoy playing as well as performances. My job, my home, my relationships... OCD has latched on to almost everything in my life. But I'm taking ground back, and I am making progress!
The human mind and perspectives, existential stuff, life itself, things that don’t have answers.
Everything that I love or enjoy! OCD makes miserable
Ha in the past year…my relationship with my then girlfriend, my fear that I wasn’t over my ex-girlfriend, my health, my fear of death, my desire to be married to a woman, and my desire to be in a relationship with a woman, just for starters. It’s been quite the year.
False memory fears that tie into real event ocd. Like thinking of a real event and then having an image pop in my head that prompts intense physical anxiety and says "this must be a memory too. Look how horrible you are!"
I have existential ocd and it attacks everything relating to friends and family. It makes me obsesse about wether they’re real or not. Wether I’m dead or in a dream/coma. It’s super difficult.
My relationship with God, my friends. Another interesting thing, it seems to me that there's so many things OCD is involved in yet I can't remember them....does that happend to anyone else, to literally forget what u struggle/ed with?
@Dragos9898 It’s happened to me before too, you overcome it and then you forget which is probably for the best no?
@auggiec017 I suppoes it is, yet I could use some examples od struggles whenever I wanna explain OCD to someone. :/
@Dragos9898 Of*
@Dragos9898 Yeah I can see how that can be annoying, have you overcome your OCD?
@auggiec017 Nah, not really, just fighting with it.
Fear and obsession of nuclear war from Ukraine. Then it completely switched to my relationship and fear that I was lying to myself actually wasn’t over my last previous crush
My daughter. I have a false memory I did something immoral…which is so out of character. I would literally turn myself in if I did it…. But it’s so confusing.
@Stardust777 The mind is confusing! When I first got intrusive thoughts I thought I was being attacked in the supernatural realm.
@auggiec017 Wow that must have been scary!
@auggiec017 It really is crazy what the mind can do.
@auggiec017 Same!
@Stardust777 I have this exact same theme. It’s so tough, I’m sorry you are going through it. This one is my least favorite theme- though NONE of them are fun, this one hits hard.
@kbrenna2 It really does :( I told myself I wish I could go back to my contamination obsession any day everyday over this one….something my about obsessions over loved ones hits the hardest.
a long time ago it began to latch onto some of my favorite hobbies and interests and now as a result I just feel totally lost and discouraged
@~a.b~ what were the thoughts like?
First it was my husband. Now it's my religion. Seems to vacillate between those two things.
@Maeday The two most important things to you, that’s what ocd targets the things that get the most reactions out of you
Oh man mine started when I had my daughter. My ocd got so bad I almost felt like I needed them to take her away because my intrusive thoughts flooded with I was going to harm her or molest her🙁🙁😭 I cried sooo much and still till date those thoughts come Back why does this still happen or cause me anxiety if I know it’s ocd
@kd88 I feel you on this:( it’s the worst feeling in the world because you love your baby so so much and it’s like why do these types of thoughts come!!! It’s our biggest fears maybe? That we never want to ever happen so we stress and obsess over them.
@kd88 I’m the same way…so you get images?? Like if you actually did something one time? Maybe it was the thoughts I had in the past and they became vivid? Idk mine feels like a dream….:( ugh I hate it
@Stardust777 Mine was more like just thoughts like I imagined myself doing it and it was like a movie playing in my brain and I didn’t know how to stop it. It’s the worst
@kd88 Yes…I think this is what I was going thru in the past. I think I sat down and I imagined what would happen if I did it…or something like that. I have this memory about two years ago and it came back to me as a false memory. I guess since I imagined it or dreamt about it my memory can’t tell if it really happened or not. It’s really scary.
@Stardust777 Feel free to msg me if u want to talk about it and we can help each other
@kd88 Where could I message you?
I’ve had three breakdowns 😭 and this one has not been quite as fierce as previous ones x
@jay71 Just stay strong, accept the thoughts and anxiety and do your best to let them be
@jay71 Kind of weird lol but if you need to talk I’m here, it’s nice to know where not alone, that people are going thru the same thing
@Anonymous That very kind thank you
@jay71 me too, I feel you :( I’m so so sorry
It latched on and convinced me that I was a psychopath, a sociopath, a covert narcissist, and a bunch of other psychological conditions. It told me that any physical pain I had was cancer or organ failure. It told me that I would snap and kill or sexually assault someone soon. It told me that I had taken advantage of someone inadvertently and the cops were closing in. It convinced me that someone would crawl through my window while I was sleeping and kill me and a bunch of other safety related stuff. I’m doing ok , one day at a time.
@Merkava I have had terrible health fears to the extent I spent all day in tears and sleeping then back to harm ocd avoiding people and places
@jay71 How are you doing now?
@auggiec017 One day at a time
My husband, my sexual orientation, me being a “good person.”
Hi, stuff regarding my family, work, what others will think of me, and probably more.
Yes 🙌 completely understand. What’s helped me is just not giving value or meaning to those thoughts. I simply write them off as worthless thoughts passing through my mind into nothingness it’s helped a lot. If the thought comes up just ignore it even if you have the urge to check it out or think you have to solve it cuz honestly it doesn’t need to be solved. Your job is to live your life to the fullest the way you want and if you keep doing it you’ll see a massive difference in how your mind thinks.
@auggiec017 It’s so hard for me not to think about it because it upsets me so much and my OCD wants me to add meaning to everything, including why I feel so low and lost and not myself, why things the way they are, why everything is the way it is. I guess I get sad when the answer is “nothing has meaning, just let the thoughts come and go” it’s like I’m never satisfied with the answer. I also obsess about perspectives as well. Like how does one person feel one way and another person can see it differently, how do you know what’s “right” or real? And if it doesn’t have an answer, how do I honestly be ok with that? It’s tricky. I wish I could go back to unknowing this and feeling and thinking the way I used to.
@Taylor10 Omgosh, I have thought some of these things word for word. What I think annoys me so much is the general public don't have any idea how confused OCD can make you. It makes is so hard to explain how your feeling to family and friends and get support. I never would have thought things like this before, like how do you even know what's true. Sometimes I find myself struggling with themes related to my relationship, and I wonder how are people deciding that they like or love some people over others? It's such a weird feeling and all I think is I wish I could forget all of this and go back to how I was before my OCD was triggered.
@TaraLynC YES 100% how I think/feel, it’s very maddening. Feels like you’ve woken up and everyone else around you is in lala land, asleep or something. I wanna go back to being that way lol.
I find myself getting better at recognizing intrusive thoughts so the OCD morphs into “intentions behind actions”. Which is so fun. It will tell me the intrusive thought I had while performing an action that makes me anxious was not actually a thought you ignored but something you actually intended to do. The line is so blurred between desire/want to dos and OCD, then add false memories to the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. I find myself now not questioning the thought itself but my intention behind an action. When I confess (my compulsion) it slowly adds more details each time. So that I can’t tell what story is real. I swear OCD gets smarter the more you catch onto it!
@kbrenna2 💯 OCD gets smarter as we become more aware.
Yes! Geez, I'm almost at a maintenance phase with my treatment and it's so sneaky coming in a side window. I hate it! Then I question whether I'm really wanting to get better. Stupid OCD.
Right now it’s got it’s claws into my fear of dying and specially my fear of choking. I keep imagining all the things I could pick up and swallow. I can’t look at an object without the image of myself putting it in my mouth. It’s bizarre as hell but I’ve suffered from a choking phobia for 15+ years and OCD won’t let me rest…
After a long stint of illness and surgeries (and then the pandemic started), I finally had physical health diagnoses, but I developed intense anxiety around my health. Looking back, I had OCD then but I didn't quite realise it because i didn't think I had compulsions (and like most I misunderstood what OCD is). I now realise apart from reassurance seeking, most of my compulsions are mental or not obvious . I'm in Melb Australia and we went through almost 2 years of lockdowns, which I thought I dealt with well, but then bam, everything was open and we all had to decide how to live again. My brain couldn't think about covid anymore because I had to engage in activities for my mental health, had to think about what life we want, and work on reconnection with others. Then, my theme switched to my relationship with my husband, and sometimes family and friends too. Even sometimes my cats!
OCD has attacked my past, dream/false memories, my relationship and whether I actually have OCD. It sucks lol
@nervousbeans So sorry you’re going through this ❤️ we’re battling this together
@Anonymous Yes! We’ll get through it together my friend!
it’s attacked my sexuality for the past 2.5 years now. it’s exhausting some days sitting in class ruminating over if i’m bi or if i’m gay or if i’m straight. most of all, i fear being lesbian because i would lose the love of my life. it’s the fear that keeps this entire theme of OCD alive in my brain, 24/7. some days are easier, some are more difficult. i’m way better than i used to be before NOCD though, which i’m very very grateful for.
I tried to get a therapist on here but they don’t take my insurance and it’s way to much money for one session
@bre10123f Same here
@bre10123f How much is it for a session?
@bre10123f Same here. They don’t take my insurance for my state. The lowest rate I could find was $100 per session and I just don’t know if I can do that.
@bre10123f Just got off a call and mine was estimated $170 per hour…
@brandifleury They were giving out a promo about a month or two ago. It would only last a month for 100$ then it would go up to 170$ which is the normal
The intrusive thoughts are hard to deal with. I highly recommend the book Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston. It really has helped me. I got in as an audible read and listened to it like a therapy session. It is spot on with how we try to argue the thoughts away with part of our brain and the "what ifs"
@PAC63 Tried to download the book off Amazon to my Kindle app. Any suggestions as to how to download and buy the audio version?
@PAC63 It wouldn’t allow the download
@PAC63 Second that a really helpful book
@PAC63 This book helped me a lot! Long before I realised I had ocd.
Everything that has to do with my kids. Their safety, our relationship, their spiritual life. Also not performing at work and losing my job because it would impact others and I worry about letting them down.
@Swissguy73 This too. My kid. Latched on to one health condition in particular. I used to check doors were locked several times. I’d count the baby’s toys before packing away and display them in the shelf exactly the same way.
Fear of going crazy and suicidal ocd
@Anonymous I get this too 😢
@jay71 Yeah, I get soo fearful of becoming depressed and suicidal or just going crazy and harming myself
I never used to have the suicide fear but during my recent breakdown it has appeared. I try to console myself by keeping a journal, practicing relaxation and breathing and reminding myself that my ocd is responsible for most of my thoughts and feelings
@jay71 Yeah I had been doing soo good but yesterday I had like a relapse and it got me
@Anonymous Please try to stay strong as a bad day even the worst can lead to a good day x
@jay71 Yeah I know that when this happened previously I was a mess this time was still better than the last time
My relationship with husband, relationship with my child, and fear of regretting not living a “good” life (whatever that means :/)
Health. Always health.
Food, my health, my ability to continue living
@Taylor10 - I’m thinking that’s the intrusive thought I get from time to time (my mind on my mind or my thoughts on my thoughts). I’ve learned not to go down the rabbit hole to try and figure it out. Stay strong!!!
My kids, my dog, my God. People in general. Everything I love!
@Volballgirl Can I ask what kind of thoughts you have with "people in general"? If you don't mind sharing :))
@🐣🌱 I have harm ocd
Anything related to sexual , harming my child, taboo thoughts of family members my dog . My health , scared I was crazy and was going to go to jail and be put in a crazy home
Yep! God is it for me!
Everything I would enjoy if did not have OCD
That’s what I was battling all along and it sucks! It really makes u feel like crap like the worst person ever filled with shame guilt and disgust 😔
All ocd as the cause
Somatic ocd for me! Anything that deals with breathing! :(
My relationship, my friendships, my work.
Relationships, kids, career, schooling. Most are sexual, harm and about my relationship.
Hurting my girlfriend. The anxiety I get from these thoughts is overwhelming it’s hard to navigate all of this
Relationships 😥
My son. Fearing that he was abused even though he says he wasn’t. I ruminate and try to “figure it out.” NOCD has taught me I can’t figure these things out in my mind and I need to accept that - but it’s still hard not to get caught in the cycle. It’s horrific worrying about someone you love more than life itself.
Past events! Usually on topics I care about. Fear that I've messed up irreparably and can't remember how, and a fear that no matter what normal reassurance i get that my friends and family love me that it can change on a dime
My hobbies, my experiences, my skills. I’ve hit a good bit of the subtype list at this point lol
Same😅😢
What’s your subtype
I'm not good at subtypes and stuff like that but I think Religious Scrupulosity basically and Pure O. Idk if that's the best terms but you get the ideea.
Yeah, I've started doing that after watching some videos about it, I found something for exactly what I was struggling with and it helped like a lot. I started to get over the scrupulosity thing, at least the mode obvious bits of it.
I purchased the free trial for Audible through Amazon .... It gives you a few books and then if you don't want it you can cancel it. Personally I really loved listening to the book so I HIGHLY recommend getting the audible ap if you can. It will be money well spent. Let me know how you are.
@PAC63 Got it! Thank u!
I looked forward to time when I could sit and listen to the book....I may listen again soon because it was that much help. Hope it is for you too : )
I fear to lose my bf , i love him so so much and im afraid of doing something wrong without realizing it or while being unconscious driven by my thoughts, i just have this intense fear of losing him he is my world , and ocd starts to convince me that I actually want to lose my bf , i want to do these bad things while i dont want these i really dont
@bubbes False memory, pure O and relationship ocd lashes on these fears and make me suffer and feel horrible
My baby
It latched on to the toxic homophobic theology I was taught, that being accepting my bisexuality I would become a pedophile in due time, then turn into a zoophile, then a necrophiliac. It sunk it's teeth into it and tormented me promsing if I could just go back in the closet and not be gay all these nasty intrusive thoughts would leave and I'd be safe from turning into a monster and sexual deviant. I had also struggled from religious OCD, magical thinking OCD, and plenty of Harm OCD as well
Did I make mistake getting divorced, finances, alienating people by what I said, alienating people because I'm ugly and my face is not symmetrical, my friends, my kids health and mental health
I am convinced if I touch things or put my hands on my fac e I will be contaminated with covid and I have disrespectfful thoughts toward god.
@reeseholmes I have horrible thoughts about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Not only thoughts but horrible feelings about Them as well. Yesterday was a really bad day for me. Today is bad as well.
@DebbieDo22 I’m having a bad day too. Everything I do, I scrutinize.
Family, work, food
I have a new baby and am constantly OCDing that I might drop her or not check her breathing enough when she sleeps or not notice if she’s choking.
My children. It’s awful.
I used to have trouble with checking. Now I have trouble with contamination. For some reason I’m now horrified I will get a bloodborne pathogen.
My will to live 😭
My OCD keeps questioning me as to whether I love my son. He is autistic. My OCD is always looking for proof that I don't love him.
@Huggie Bear Awh, I am so sorry you’re struggling with that :(
@Huggie Bear Just know God knows the real you, he knows your brain is wired different, but your heart is true! I have a great wife and two great kids, I worry all the time if I pick ok one, or favor one more than the other, etc,,, I KNOW I don’t, but the ocd makes. It difficult… sometimes it’s no big deal, other times like now, it eats me up! Hang in there, you can fight it
@Boss34 He really does
@Boss34 Amen!
My best friend from high school. My OCD has been attacking him for over 10 years.
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