- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I wish I could tell you when:/ I wish I could tell you progress is always linear. I’ve begged for these answers myself. OCD sucks. Feel free to go scream in your pillow, indulge a bit in some chocolate or something, break down crying. You don’t always have to be strong. But know that you will always be stronger than this. You have what it takes, even in your lowest, most chaotic moments. You have a community of support behind you every step of the way. There is always hope. OCD is never real - it will always be “what if’s” told to you as facts. Reality sneakily clothed in discomfort. You are in control, even when you feel completely out of control. These are the lies OCD tells. These are the normal, physiological responses. But xMariax, you do you. Because even through all of this, you’re badass;) I believe in you - the you underneath OCD’s lies - the one who will win?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much!! Its just that I had been doing really good for days but then the anxiety left and the backdoor spike came in and then I started to get worried about not feeling anything and now I feel again like I maybe dont want to be with my partner but I dont want to think nor feel like that
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s really isn’t a bad thing, I’m in the backdoor spike I don’t get anxiety anymore. I’m scared that I’m actually gay. I come on this app for reassurance so I know I need to delete it. I delete and then feel the urge to get it again, “just to check it” when I’m really looking for reassurance. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
❤️ I feel that. It’s always something:( Our track record for getting through terribly bad days is 100%, though. When you’re ready - shove that in OCD’s face. Maybe the hopelessness and fear will still be there, but coping through it every.single.day. is something to take pride in. You just gotta be here when things click into place:) Because they will. Your endurance has brought you this far, and this community is here to lift you up as you fight the next saga. You are you no matter what OCD says. Don’t lose hope in that, xMariax.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I just had a panic attack. It feels too real. It feels like I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Why is this happening? Why don’t I feel anything? Why don’t I love him? Why am I even questioning whether I ever loved him in the first place? I’ve been stuck in this for so long that I’m starting to believe it’s the truth. What if I feel this way because I just don’t want to accept that I don’t like him? What if I led him on this entire time? When I talk to him, I feel nothing. I’m not interested in anything. I can’t have conversations with him, I can’t kiss him, I just feel numb and fake. I feel horrible. What is happening to me? How did I get here? Why don’t I feel okay? I don’t understand what I feel. I feel like I’m lying to myself, like I’m stuck in this terrifying loop. I also feel like I don’t even care that I’m hurting him. I know he’s upset, and I know this is affecting him too, but I feel nothing about it. I don’t know why. It’s like something is blocking me from feeling anything. I know I should care. I know I love him. So why do I feel like I don’t? I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t recognize myself anymore. What if this is real? I just want to feel normal again. i dont understand what is happening. i fear i didn’t love him ever because these thoughts started in the 4th month of us being together. in two months we make 2 years. am i leading him on? im a horrible person. i dont understand .
- Date posted
- 18w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 18w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
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