- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I wish I could tell you when:/ I wish I could tell you progress is always linear. I’ve begged for these answers myself. OCD sucks. Feel free to go scream in your pillow, indulge a bit in some chocolate or something, break down crying. You don’t always have to be strong. But know that you will always be stronger than this. You have what it takes, even in your lowest, most chaotic moments. You have a community of support behind you every step of the way. There is always hope. OCD is never real - it will always be “what if’s” told to you as facts. Reality sneakily clothed in discomfort. You are in control, even when you feel completely out of control. These are the lies OCD tells. These are the normal, physiological responses. But xMariax, you do you. Because even through all of this, you’re badass;) I believe in you - the you underneath OCD’s lies - the one who will win?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much!! Its just that I had been doing really good for days but then the anxiety left and the backdoor spike came in and then I started to get worried about not feeling anything and now I feel again like I maybe dont want to be with my partner but I dont want to think nor feel like that
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s really isn’t a bad thing, I’m in the backdoor spike I don’t get anxiety anymore. I’m scared that I’m actually gay. I come on this app for reassurance so I know I need to delete it. I delete and then feel the urge to get it again, “just to check it” when I’m really looking for reassurance. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
❤️ I feel that. It’s always something:( Our track record for getting through terribly bad days is 100%, though. When you’re ready - shove that in OCD’s face. Maybe the hopelessness and fear will still be there, but coping through it every.single.day. is something to take pride in. You just gotta be here when things click into place:) Because they will. Your endurance has brought you this far, and this community is here to lift you up as you fight the next saga. You are you no matter what OCD says. Don’t lose hope in that, xMariax.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 21w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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