- Username
- xMariax
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- o: O: Devon O: o:o: O: Devon ...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I wish I could tell you when:/ I wish I could tell you progress is always linear. I’ve begged for these answers myself. OCD sucks. Feel free to go scream in your pillow, indulge a bit in some chocolate or something, break down crying. You don’t always have to be strong. But know that you will always be stronger than this. You have what it takes, even in your lowest, most chaotic moments. You have a community of support behind you every step of the way. There is always hope. OCD is never real - it will always be “what if’s” told to you as facts. Reality sneakily clothed in discomfort. You are in control, even when you feel completely out of control. These are the lies OCD tells. These are the normal, physiological responses. But xMariax, you do you. Because even through all of this, you’re badass;) I believe in you - the you underneath OCD’s lies - the one who will win?
- Username
- xMariaxxMariax
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much!! Its just that I had been doing really good for days but then the anxiety left and the backdoor spike came in and then I started to get worried about not feeling anything and now I feel again like I maybe dont want to be with my partner but I dont want to think nor feel like that
- Username
- crazyfeelings crazyfeelings
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It’s really isn’t a bad thing, I’m in the backdoor spike I don’t get anxiety anymore. I’m scared that I’m actually gay. I come on this app for reassurance so I know I need to delete it. I delete and then feel the urge to get it again, “just to check it” when I’m really looking for reassurance. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore
- Username
- o: O: Devon O: o:o: O: Devon ...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
❤️ I feel that. It’s always something:( Our track record for getting through terribly bad days is 100%, though. When you’re ready - shove that in OCD’s face. Maybe the hopelessness and fear will still be there, but coping through it every.single.day. is something to take pride in. You just gotta be here when things click into place:) Because they will. Your endurance has brought you this far, and this community is here to lift you up as you fight the next saga. You are you no matter what OCD says. Don’t lose hope in that, xMariax.
Related posts
- Username
- xMariax
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The fact that Im googling to see if that Im feeling numb towards my partner and that Im scared because I dont feel anxiety anymore so Im thinking my thoughts are real and that Im feeling that my partner is not real is normal could be considered as a compulsion? I think Ive been going through the backdoor spike for almost two weeks now and I dont even know what to feel anymore
- Username
- notfortalk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Backdoor spikes confuse me. How long are they supposed to last, I feel I've been in the backdoor spike for a month
- Username
- Anonymousesti
- Date posted
- 42w ago
SOOCD after a long time
Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.
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