How do I do response prevention for romance

One problem - Various themes This is my first post. I had a relapse a few months ago. Life was amazing and then boom, I got triggered by something and started spiralling about my sexuality (having finally been at peace for two years, entered a healthy new relationship and come out of the closet as an older women). How do you, when you're not triggered practice ERP? I'm able to try and accept the thoughts every time I see a man. What should I be doing when I don't encounter these triggers. I was to say as well that I also am starting to get real event OCD about some of the sexual things I did in the past when I was married and in an unhealthy toxic relationship with my ex husband. I am shamed and disgusted and I'm working on it but there's a certain subsection of the LGBTQ community that trigger these thoughts, groinals and thing for me... I feel like I'm beginning to realise I need to maybe be a little more active in my recovery instead of waiting for triggers... But I don't know how

My biggest is ruminating, i talk and talk and over share with myself and others Like what are some exposures?

Hi so i’ve been trying to figure out how to stop mentally checking. I’m doing better at not ruminating!! I realized that me responding to the thoughts it in any way makes me ruminate even more, so i took someone’s advice and let the thought sit there. i sit in the uncomfortable feelings/anxiety, i let the uncomfortable body sensations sit (groinal), i don’t engage, i don’t distract myself, i don’t avoid it (sometimes i notice discomfort and anxiety towards something and expose myself to it), i continue what im doing, i try to stay in the moment, and my anxiety will slowly go down. When i do those things the intrusive thoughts start to fade which means less anxiety and the compulsion loop and shitty feelings slowly fade as well. Im doing better at not googling for reassurance!! However, i notice that im still struggling with checking/mentally reviewing (my arousal, my emotions, my feelings, my attraction, etc). After years of dealing with OCD it’s made me really numb (NO libido, no attraction, no motivation, just numb). Im trying to get my life back and im living everyday and not letting OCD run my life anymore. I’m scared but im not at the same time, i REFUSE to let it take over again. All these years of suffering have literally prepared me for this😭. After years of pure numbness, ZERO attraction (still struggle w this), and avoiding everything, i developed a crush and im now in a new relationship. This has flared up my ROCD and SOOCD again, but when im with him i notice im able to be in the moment, feel my feelings for him fully (not all the time i mess up), but as soon as i go home or im alone, im already mentally checking and fearing the numbness will take over again. I start to ruminate and worry that OCD will make me lose every bit of progress i made, and i’ll lose feelings for him, ruining our relationship and sending me back to that miserable place i was in. if you read my previous posts you’d know how amazing and freeing it has been to feel these feelings with him. but i’m so worried my constant checking will make me even more numb. Even when im not experiencing any thoughts and not anxious, i still subconsciously check what im feeling and start to feel a numb, plain, knot in my chest if that makes sense? Like it’s a dull feeling? ANYWAYS my question is this, how can i stop mentally checking/ mentally reviewing (attraction,feelings, arousal,emotions, body sensations (groinal)) and how can i fix the numbness?? i’m willing to do anything!! idc if it’s hard i just need someone to give me some tips and ill try my best. also if you live in california, and have met with a therapist on this app pls give some recommendations i want to make a free appointment soon!!