Does anyone wanna rant?

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Oh God, I'm going through false memory too. It's the worst.

With false memory, it always feels like whatever your afraid of has already come true

I recently learned I have OCD a few weeks ago and I am having a hard time knowing who I am without it. It turns out most of the things I do/think are OCD. Who am I if I am not my thoughts? who am I without them?

Retroactive Jealousy is such a bitch.

My false memory is not related to harm or anything like that and I know with harm related themes there is chronic guilt with false memories. With other themes and false memories, is there still some chronic feeling? Cause it's felt different after the false memory.

I’m new to NOCD but feel like I have many sub-types. I have my first therapy session tomorrow. Wish it was right now. Looking back, I’ve probably had OCD for a long long time but didn’t realize it. I’ve had years where it wasn’t a problem but over the past 6 weeks, it’s become so intrusive in my life. I just want to stay locked in my room until it passes but I have to work full time. I’m scared to death!

Idek know if it’s false memory or hit and run ocd, but I’ve been thinking about it nonstop for a week now. I was driving home last week and took my eyes off the road road to change the radio for a moment and then when I looked up and kept driving my mind had convinced me that I had hit and killer someone…. I was going to go back and check but then I was like nooo ur being silly….. I ended up going 40 minutes later and saw nothing but then my mind was convinced the person had already been taken away… No marks on my car, I’ve checked the news, I’ve checked neighborhood sites seeing if anyone said something about a hit and run in the area…. I know I didn’t hurt anyone… but my mind really believe it’s real, I’ve suffered through guilt, shame and my future feels so bleak because I feel like cops are gonna show up and take me away for something I didn’t do. It’s made this last week hell. I’ll get peace occasionally but that’s only cause I mentally reassure myself or I see a similar story on here about someone saying it’s fine and then I’m ok till the thought comes back… my mind has created false images and it’s so disturbing to me. I could never harm someone, let alone run away from a accident when there’s a chance that I could’ve hurt them and could get them help. I am trying so hard to sit with my thoughts but it’s just super hard, this thought specifically would ruin my life, take everything away and not to mention I couldn’t live with the thought of taking another’s life that would break me… sorry for ranting I’m just stuck in limbo and therapy isn’t a option at the present moment so I’m tryna deal with this alone. I’ve suffered from SOOCD/POCD/ROCD/ Health OCD and generally have been able to pull myself out most times, this feels completely different because my mind makes me feel like it’s real!!! I hate driving anymore and I’m hyper vigilant when driving now and have even had the same thought a couple other times when I see people Walking down the road and stuff, but for someone reason the initial thought keeps coming back stronger 😭 ok sorry rant over lol