Wishing I’d grown up without the Internet

I really wish my formative teen years weren’t spent online during a time before anyone really understood what a digital footprint was. There’s so much I did online as a teen that I am NOT proud of, and it’s impossible to just scrub away, it’ll always linger somewhere somehow. It makes me wish I’d never grown up with the internet at all, and I get jealous of those who were able to live in a time without their every action being permanently documented and catalogued.

Real Events OCD

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y ago

I think about this too. What my life would be like if I didn't get a smartphone as a teenager. I have a LOT of things I regret doing around that age. I'm sure everybody does at this point. The best thing we can do is accept what we did and acknowledge that it's part of who we are. Those good and bad things shape out character into better versions of ourselves when we mature. I hope that makes sense. Who you were as a teenager isn't who you are now. I'm sure you've learned from your past self for the better of your present and future self. :)

Username: strawbmlkstrawbmlk

Date posted: 2y ago

@BigGip09 Yes but with OCD I am finding it IMPOSSIBLE to draw the line between my adult self and the things I did as a teenager. It’s so irrational and I’m aware of that but it feels so bad

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y ago

@strawbmlk Well you acknowledge that OCD is solely making this difficult for you. That's what it's going to do: Latch onto things that you care about the most. I'm like that too: Constantly thinking back to my bad choices when I was still in high school.

Username: mothmandamothmanda

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Man, I relate to this… We have to be radically forgiving of ourselves for this though. Many of us have grown up a lot since we first logged on, and if anyone uncovers anything offensive or cringeworthy from your past, there’s offensive and cringeworthy content all over the internet—if it’s old, most people will either get annoyed by it for half a second then move on with their day, or not care at all.

Username: mothmandamothmanda

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@mothmanda And no matter whether anyone finds anything or gets upset, what you did then is not who you are now

Username: strawbmlkstrawbmlk

Date posted: 2y ago

I think this all the time

Username: BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y ago

I have a question for everyone: What's one thing you would take back in your life if you could? If you could redo one thing in your life out of all the days you've been living, what would it be? For me, I think it would be my discovery of pornography. It ruined my perspective on romance, ruined the majority of my adolescence during high school days, I acted on impulses and imitated things I saw in adult content, and to this day I still hate pretty much all of what has to do with it. On the other hand, I'd really like to know what other people's answers are to this question. I'm curiosity, maybe this could be fun. It could be refreshing to talk about something that isn't out OCD worries or compulsions.

Username: Jellybeans

Date posted: 3y ago

I regret some of the illegal things that I saw online when I first got my phone when I was 13. I have a vague memory of seeing something horrific in a Kik group chat, it was cp. even just typing it out absolutely disgusts me. Although I was just a child myself I feel so awful about seeing it, at the time I didn’t even understand what I was watching. Many years later my mind is now twisting what happened telling me things like I’m a pedo and that I liked it..that I’m sick and should have known what I was watching and closed the app. I don’t remember how old the girl even looked but I think she was probably my age or abouts, that’s what confused me. I regret seeing it I want to rip my eyes out of my head. This is really difficult to open up about so please be considerate I don’t know how to begin to forgive myself and move on, or even if I should forgive my younger self makes me feel like I deserve to die

Username: whatever.

Date posted: 45w ago

Why was I so .. not it.

When I was 15/16, I would talk to random strangers online in chatrooms. I was really lonely, moved to a strange city, and the pandemic had started during this time too. I thought it was funny to just mess around with people. But then it got weird. I would talk to people, tell them my name. I trusted some of them. It’s so embarrassing. I look back and realize a lot of those people were genuinely weirdos and idk why I was so gullible but. It all plays into my OCD. I keep thinking what if I talked to those people because I’m like them/will become like them. Why was I so stupid? What if I really wasn’t gullible and I knew better even though I know that I genuinely was sheltered and dumb asf because I was 15/16 and knew nothing about life?

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Wishing I’d grown up without the Internet

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