I got home from therapy

So i said to many things to the therapist that she said she cant give me a diagnosis cause theres lot of things i say and it could be a diagnosis but i contradict everything and i dont show signs... so theres alot of problem that i made myself believe that is a real problem, i diagnosed myself, and theres one that is real. The only thing i need to do is just watch these thoughts and emotions and donz try to see why i have them... so that means i need to stop saying this is ocd too. So now i have a really bad anxiety with harm thoughts and i cant say its ocd and it doesnt even feel like its that cause it comes with anger and hopelessness(and the therapist said it too that ocd is fear of the thoughts) so now that i dont know what is it, i worry more and more...

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

First - I am sorry for this struggle. Not being a therapist and not being present in the evaluation I cannot speak ti why you don’t have a diagnosis. With OCD we have to sit in the uncertainty - and that is very hard. You are not your thoughts. You are correct on two points - don’t try to figure out why you had a particular thought - that is an ocd trap. And don’t try ti figure out for sure if it is ocd - just sit with uncertainty that maybe it isn’t. I like to frame it this way when dealing with an intrusive thought: When I get angry I oftentimes will get the intrusive thought that I want to hit the person who annoyed me or worse yet hit them with a baseball bat. I can do one of two things - accept it as an intrusive thought and go about my day or I can get the bay and hit away. To this day, I have not done anything like this but it may happen the next time. I simply don’t know. That is the trick - don’t try to figure it out - maybe it is not ocd and I’m just waiting for the right person to whack the hell out of with a bat. Till that day comes I live ky values - which don’t include beating someone - and deal with the truth of a thought if it happens. I hope this helps

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Hi, i just know that i want to avoid saying this might be real feelings, i just dont want to live with knowing that i thought about relieving the pain with causing harm to someone or myself... it just feels shameful, like im a bad person, and i know people will say this is a sign that i will not do it but for me its still shamefull that i felt the urge... About what the therapist said that many of these things i said i just took in myself and believed that is a problem because i read about so many mental illnesses on the internet and i identified with that, and now i feel like ocd can be that too, i just said it to protect myself from feeling shameful. The therapist said not to think about it so i try not to but this isnt the first time i feel this

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 I am so sorry for your struggle and I also have struggled with this. Having a thought does not make anyone a bad person. Everyone has these kinds of intrusive thoughts. Ocd is telling you it it bad when in fact it is common. What you do with the thought that matters. So if you don’t act in it, there is nothing to feel shame about. I know it’s hard and please be gentle with yourself. We are all here for you.

Gabriel P.

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

Hello, I’m sorry it’s been a really tough day, go extra easy on yourself it sounds very exhausting right now. Is your therapist specialized in OCD and exposure therapy? OCD can be called the doubting disorder as it tends to make us doubt everything, are job is to not stop the doubting but to learn to live with it in a way that is more sustainable and where it doesn’t interrupt our lives as it is doing now. Try setting your mind to something for the next hour and when the intrusive thoughts come in, recognize it, be gentle with yourself and refocus mind to what you decided you’d focus on. Keep part of the community and if you want help from a trained specialist of OCD treatment then you have plenty of options here at NOCD 😊

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

Hey

How do you deal with so many bad things that OCD makes you think about? Because ever since my therapist said it might not be OCD, even though that she believe it is, I think a lot that if it isn't, So I created such bad thoughts in my head. And my god, what a horrible thing. I never wanted this. My parents don't deserve such a bad daughter.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 19w

Lost

I had like a really bad argument with my mom basically about her complaining about my “attitude” and “constant arrogance” like okay firstly 😭 yes i do have an attitude and am irritable but im not THAT bad 😭🙏 she was saying that im a “pest” and that “its not enjoyable to live with someone who makes other people miserable” like 😅🧍‍♀️ oh ☺️ and then i tell her that i know im struggling and that im going to therapy to try to get better and trying to possibly get a diagnosis and she says “your generation just wants something to deal with. You want something to be wrong with you. ‘Trying to get better’ isn’t good enough… would you be able to stand someone like yourself? You’re just choosing this antisocial, narcissistic behaviour and harass everyone… You need to pull yourself together. No matter how much effort we put into you, you will never be happy. You want some medicine? Some diagnosis? Because that will solve everything?” 😭😭😭 and the way she said “some medication”- she sounded so disgusted and appalled and now i feel ashamed… i mean im not officially diagnosed with ocd and it is never my intention to self diagnose- but im sorry its VERY obvious when you have ocd and know of ocd- its so distinct. Everything- the compulsions, reassurance, intrusive thoughts, themes, patterns, perfectionism- but she has me overthinking- what if i dont have ocd 😭 and ive just been lying to myself and everyone maybe its not ocd and im just sick in the head or trying to self sabotage- and especially when my supposed ocd is calm or not as loud i get so anxious “what if i dont have ocd…”

miagrace.

Date posted: 15w

therapist made my ocd worse

just been to therapy and i was explaining my contamination ocd and says i don’t diagnose ocd but this doesn’t seem severe enough? so now im spiralling am i just lying to myself and im just a freak. does she mean my other ocds aren’t real either? i’m just honestly so upset. need advice please im just spiralling so much i take medication for ocd and basically have every symptom and subtype of ocd:(

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

I got home from therapy

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community