Any advice please. Sorry for the long post.

Hi, one of my current issues is feeling guilty.. but would OCD be the issue that I kept looking? So.. I'm 36, a few months ago I would have been 35 and while a girl got off the bus I was driving I noticed her legs and thought nice legs! It progressed to looking at her and thinking she's attractive?! Then other thoughts because she's around 15 I thought she'll be fine when she's say 18/19? Cos I felt bad because of her age! Then I thought but by then she might not be exactly like she is now etc, maybe a little more weight etc, and my mind was saying I like her as she is now! She was quite well made anyway as such. Anyway.. then another girl, similar age, same thing I noticed her legs, then her face etc, thought she's nice too! Would have a glance most days!? Fast forward to a different day, different school run and there's a blonde girl, 15 too, last year of high school and I thought nice legs! (Now I had already been feeling a bit guilty about this with the other ones, and even when pick up time came my mind thought it about others who were maybe 14 etc! Again...guilt! Anyway this blonde went on for weeks, some days I would say I'm not looking at her today etc cos I felt guilty, but I did and sometimes just a glance for a few seconds! One day she got on with tight leggings etc, I ended up feeling aroused altho I tried to halt it straight away! Altho when she was walking away after getting off her legs/butt etc were showing obv in the leggings I thought how could any male not find that attractive? Then another day I had a sexual intrusive thought! Again ogjt arousal which I tried to suppress straight away! So I have OCD and even guilt from this which is making me do compulsions and I'm trying to stop them too as it's hard, but what I'm asking is does this all sound like obsessive behaviour which has caused me alot of guilt and lead to some sort of contamination (incase I've touched something she has etc) I need to clean. I get OCD and I know plenty about intrusive thoughts which I've also had on other people etc so my OCD has been on a high for months now, I just need some other opinions as to wether this all seems out of proportion and OCD like? Is it normal even as a man to think 'ah she's nice or got nice legs' wether it's a 30 year old or 15, (Not a 5 year old!) She was 15 and tall enough etc, then that's that or has it gotten more obsessive probably be ause of OCD and guilt etc. Any help would be appreciated.

Anon.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

My best advice to this question would be to stop seeking an answer. Bring in an uncertainty statement, “I’m feeling anxious because….., I can’t be 100% sure that’s not true, I’m willing to live with that uncertainty HAPPILY.” In my experience, OCD will seek an answer literally indefinitely, nothing is ever good enough. I remember having hit and run OCD where I thought I hit someone with my car, got out, walked over to the stick I ran over, stared at it for 10 seconds from 2 feet away, and that STILL NOT BEING CERTAIN ENOUGH. That is why embracing the uncertainty and sitting with the uncomfortable feelings is HUGE and brings relief. Mine came from my therapist and doing ERP, there’s hope!

anonymous2580

Date posted: 25w

Remembering things from my childhood

(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 17w

Looking at People Through a Sexual Lens?

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with something for a while and I am starting to wonder if it is related to OCD. For as long as I can remember, I have had this habit of looking at people, whether friends, family, or strangers and even kids, through a lens that feels like it is from the perspective of someone who might find them attractive or sexualize them. I don’t want to feel attracted; it just feels like my brain automatically puts them in that perspective. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, and I honestly thought it was just part of me being curious or creative. I have always thought this was just a quirk of my brain, but now I am starting to wonder if it is an OCD thing, especially since it feels automatic and I get anxious afterward. Has anyone else experienced this? I did not think this was part of OCD, but now I am not so sure.

Em2003

Date posted: 14w

Pls input, I haven’t panicked this hard in months

My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.

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Any advice please. Sorry for the long post.

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