K-Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
Fear of forgetting my to do list
Does anyone experience obsessions and compulsions around repeating to do lists? Checking calendars? Fear of forgetting something that is on the to do list?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
Yesssss! I used to obsessively read through the items on my to-do lists over and over (and yes that’s “lists” plural 😅). It caused me so much anxiety and it sort of got to the point where it ruled my life. But I’ve been doing ERP with my therapist for a few months now and it’s changed my life. I’ve actually deleted all my lists - something I NEVER would have thought I could do earlier this year. Like NEVER.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@777Q Thank you so much for sharing. 💜
K-AnonymousK-Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@777Q This is so so my experience! Your post really hit home for me! I wonder if you are also obsessive about a fear of being lazy or not good enough. I think that is what files my to do list repeating.
K-AnonymousK-Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous I have a question for you! How do you know what you have to do for the day / week, if you deleted all your lists?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@K-Anonymous For me, before tackling this with ERP, I honestly believed that I wouldn’t know what to do or how to function without my lists. I truly believed that I needed them. I think the obsession underlying this list compulsion was the fear that I couldn’t rely on my own brain/instincts/memory to remember what I need to do. Plus, at the same time, I think I was also scared that if I forgot something important, my whole world would melt down around me. Or it would mean I’m lazy and therefore worthless. Like if I didn’t do everything on my list, I could at least check it and re-check it and manicure it and then check it again, as a way of exerting some kind of control. I honestly was shocked when my therapist suggested I deleted my main list, right then and there on my call. But I did it, and I say with the discomfort, and now I don’t keep any personal to do lists! I do still keep a list for work, for things that I truly do need to keep track of because I’d never be able remember every long-term task I have to do at some point - but I have been able to resist my compulsion to check it and read through it and check it some more. I truly believe ERP helped me to get here! Good luck to you my friend and I would be so very happy to keep talking about this, as this is the first time I’ve met someone with a similar compulsion!
K-AnonymousK-Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous You are literally inside my brain! This is exactly my fears.
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