- Date posted
- 2y
Fear of forgetting my to do list
Does anyone experience obsessions and compulsions around repeating to do lists? Checking calendars? Fear of forgetting something that is on the to do list?
Does anyone experience obsessions and compulsions around repeating to do lists? Checking calendars? Fear of forgetting something that is on the to do list?
Yesssss! I used to obsessively read through the items on my to-do lists over and over (and yes that’s “lists” plural 😅). It caused me so much anxiety and it sort of got to the point where it ruled my life. But I’ve been doing ERP with my therapist for a few months now and it’s changed my life. I’ve actually deleted all my lists - something I NEVER would have thought I could do earlier this year. Like NEVER.
@777Q Thank you so much for sharing. 💜
@777Q This is so so my experience! Your post really hit home for me! I wonder if you are also obsessive about a fear of being lazy or not good enough. I think that is what files my to do list repeating.
@Anonymous I have a question for you! How do you know what you have to do for the day / week, if you deleted all your lists?
@K-Anonymous For me, before tackling this with ERP, I honestly believed that I wouldn’t know what to do or how to function without my lists. I truly believed that I needed them. I think the obsession underlying this list compulsion was the fear that I couldn’t rely on my own brain/instincts/memory to remember what I need to do. Plus, at the same time, I think I was also scared that if I forgot something important, my whole world would melt down around me. Or it would mean I’m lazy and therefore worthless. Like if I didn’t do everything on my list, I could at least check it and re-check it and manicure it and then check it again, as a way of exerting some kind of control. I honestly was shocked when my therapist suggested I deleted my main list, right then and there on my call. But I did it, and I say with the discomfort, and now I don’t keep any personal to do lists! I do still keep a list for work, for things that I truly do need to keep track of because I’d never be able remember every long-term task I have to do at some point - but I have been able to resist my compulsion to check it and read through it and check it some more. I truly believe ERP helped me to get here! Good luck to you my friend and I would be so very happy to keep talking about this, as this is the first time I’ve met someone with a similar compulsion!
@Anonymous You are literally inside my brain! This is exactly my fears.
I have a lot of compulsions that seem hoarding-esque but I can’t figure out which subtype of OCD they fall under. The two major drivers of this for me seem to be a fear that I will forget about them or the memories attached to them or that the things and their significance will be lost to time, and that I might need or want them in the future. I compulsively make lists of things (ex. things I like, things I don’t like, who I am, the contents of my ideal fridge - very plain with lots of fruit) just in case. I heart nearly every song I hear on Spotify (except the ones I actively strongly dislike, of which there are not many) just in case I will forget about them later on (and because I feel guilty about not hearting the song and supporting the artist if I have no valid reason not to but that’s a whole other can of worms). I have a couple containers of “good” boxes of all shapes and sizes that I’ve collected that, as it turns out, I never actually look at or use. When I was very little, before my family and I knew I had OCD, I had a “sticker book” in which I would put every sticker I ever got - because I didn’t like the idea of putting them on anything that I might lose access to. I even found my mother’s stamps and obsessively put one of each kind in my sticker book (there were soo many, it took me hours). I have trouble letting go of things, especially if I have any sort of memory attached to it whatsoever. Because, my mind says, what if I forget? My camera roll consists, in large part, of an enormous amount of screenshots of far too many little things that I encounter, and it is extremely rare that I actually look back at them. But the other data I was looking for something I thought I took a screenshot of and I couldn’t find it, so this compulsion is back and much worse. On my computer I can’t open the photos app without it crashing and the number of screenshots I have on there is shown in eight digits. I also have tens of thousands of tabs open in my browser at any given moment (I can’t close them, what if I forget?). I really wish I were exaggerating. I also take an excessive amount of photos of many things throughout my day (I counted once and I took 46 pictures of the same tree when I went on a walk). These are just some little examples of how this obsession manifests in me and my life. Does anyone else experience something similar? I’d love to hear about it.
Not necessarily asking for reassurance and I know I’ve mentioned this here before but my OCD has been affecting my cognition seemingly. I’ll forget small things or put things in odd places sometimes, or mix up words - things like that. Obviously this triggers me to be like “Alzheimers/dementia.” Can anyone relate? And if you recovered what did you do for it?
I always have fears about getting fired from work and constantly rechecking my old work. I think about 24/7 and how im going to make an enormous mistake that ruins the company and gets me fired. Then, if any type of mistake does happen I let it ruin my day. Ill look back at the past mistake and beat myself up over it. Any suggestions for mindfulness approaches?
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