- Date posted
- 2y
So
I am undiagnosed and have been dealing with this since 11. I had pure ocd something I guess I never fully recovered from but I’m 18 now and have learned how to control to where it does not control me or make me physically emotionally or mentally distressed. But I still deal with contamination ocd and that was confirmed for me yesterday when I tried the I think Ert the exposure therapy which honestly.. I don’t think anyone should be doing themselves I’m in a psychology class and remember going over that- my teacher is a psychologist and said that nobody should ever do that alone and should always do it with or approved by a therapist. And while like I did it, yk, I still think I’m not ready to start doing it frequently. But so my biggest thing has always been my feet touching the bath tub. Since I was 11 years old I’ve worn flip flops in the shower and it was not until yesterday that I ever did not. I tried before earlier this year or last year and started crying and hyperventilating etc. idk if that’s considered an anxiety attack or what but so. I did the exposure thing yesterday, took my flip flops off and right when I was abt to step in I started crying and it took me 5-10 mins to step in but I did it and I continued to cry and breathe heavily in the shower but I know what calms me down so I just did breathing exercises. So my score of distress did go from 8 to 5 but. I realized that I need help. And I realized that I really don’t feel like I have anyone to go to and I realized how much therapy I really need but don’t really have access to. And how sad it is that I’m basically legal now and just finding this app when I really needed it when I was little and it’s so unfair that I have to and had to deal with this for years with no help. And so idk, idk why I said all this I guess I just don’t know what my next move should be. I’m gonna do the 15 min free call today but, I know I want in person therapy. For anything I’d rather text therapy than call therapy but yeah. And its like even though the ocd I experienced when I was little isn’t exactly what I go through now I feel like it’s still something I need to heal from but because I was never tested idek what all types of ocd I had but I know it was more than one. But then also my teacher told me certain people can get sent to the psych ward is it called ?? For ocd and, then I was glad I never got diagnosed because I wouldn’t want people to let that define me and I wouldn’t want to go there?? Like all I ever needed was support and help.