Rocd, false memory

Hello :) I have been out 5 months ago... and do not remember every detail of the evening. While drunk and not being able to recall every bit of the night I got the thought "this time something must have happend, you cheated". After that night I have done my detactive work and thought, feelings and memories got more blurry every time. I think I am a bit better in comparison to two months ago, cause I dont cry as much, but I still feel horrible when I am doing my bf a favor or tryin to make him the best birthday because I think I am just doing it to wash my hands clean :( Help anyone?

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

Hey Mayla123! The tricky thing is, we’ll never be able to go back in time and remember every detail of what we did. OCD is working hard to keep your attention on this one night! As hard as this may be, don’t give it that power! Every time you engage in one of OCD’s “what if…” questions, you give it your time and energy. Try saying, “maybe that did happen! Maybe it didn’t! I will never know anyway” and sit in the anxiety.

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

Happy to listen! We have therapists that work with our German members! I think working with a specialist is extremely useful when you’re first starting treatment! When you start to understand how ERP works, you can totally do it on your own! You can always sign up for one of our calls and we can get you scheduled with a therapist. Do you know how to do that?

Mayla123

Date posted: 2y

Thank you very much for your advice! It doesnt start with what ifs questions. I just get all these now blurry mages of the night and the do not really stop. I guess they come from the feeling something might have happened. So by answering the images the same way, I could make everything less intense?

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

@Mayla123 Exactly right! That’s what you’d learn in ERP :) wether OCD shows up as “what ifs,” images, urges, intrusive thoughts…we respond the same. “Ug that was a weird image. Maybe that could have happened, maybe not!” You’re doing amazing. I’m with you in this fight.

Mayla123

Date posted: 2y

Well I know that the images happened :) because that has been in my memory right after. But I jumped on the "what if"train creating images that might have or might havent happend afterwards (after the memory I can remember). That is exactly where my " I must have cheated" response started when I was drunk. I was even doing compulsions, I figured afterwards, while drunk I think by trying to find that guy I talked to and get reassurance. That just sounds totally crazy to me. That I can do that kind of detactive work in that state of mind. I really thank you from the buttom of my heart for your warming words, they kind of lightened my triggered day. I am very thankful for people like you being much better educated and helping others understand the struggle. :) Do you think that trying to do Exposure is possible on ones own? There is no specialist near me. Someone send me a link to on in Germany but he is a six hours drive away :/ I somehow figured it out 4 years ago when I started having intrusive thoughts but I didnt do anything activly to accept. I bought an OCD Workbook in English. But I am not sure I do understand exposure, I dont know if doing it mentally fits to my case or if I have to got to parties and be the open and talkative person I am. Excuse this huge paragraph and thank you for listening 😇

Mayla123

Date posted: 2y

Yes, i guess but I dont speak English that fluently thats why I havent become active yet and I am not diagnosed :/

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

No problem! We can have a translator on the line :) We’re here when you need us! No pressure. We’ll be ready for ya!

Mayla123

Date posted: 2y

And this is even possible for the first call?thank you!

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

@Mayla123 Yea totally! Just tell the Care Advisor when they call you :) they’ll get a translator on the phone for you!

adelinesdragon

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y

@Mayla123 Here is the link https://www.treatmyocd.com :) take care!!!

Twilightprin...

Date posted: 24w

Some advice please- I feel like my life is falling

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

bbumblebee

Date posted: 23w

False memories in ROCD

Hi everyone!! This is a new kind of theme I’m dealing with. My brain will come up with false memories of my boyfriend saying awful things about my family or me…deep down I know it’s not real. The more I think about it though, the more real these “memories” feel. How do I deal?

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 23w

False memory ocd

Hey everyone, I’m still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly can’t remember at all what they had said to me but I’m pretty sure i remember I responded with “Lol” or “Thank you” , and I think the reason I’m really struggling right now is that I can’t remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didn’t want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think I’m just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because it’s been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much it’s just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.

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Rocd, false memory

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