Why is my ROCD different from others?

Hi, I noticed most people with ROCD have obsessions around their partner. And if they find their partners attractive or are their partners good enough for them? My fears are usually about ''if my partner finds ME attractive or not''. Or ''If I'M enough'' or ''if they have real feelings for ME'' etc. Can anyone relate? I never heard anyone with ROCD talk about this or have these obessions. It seems most people with ROCD usually question their feelings about how they feel towards their partners and not the other way round. It's making me doubt if I actually have OCD in the first place.

Username: paulaekorrepaulaekorre

Date posted: 1y ago

I think the rocd can be both ways. It's the obsessive thoughts about relationships, and it can manifest in several ways

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I see. Thank you. I was just frustrated because I felt like I couldn't relate to others who have ROCD because they tend to have different thoughts from mine. And rarely see anyone talk about the types of thoughts I have.

Username: paulaekorrepaulaekorre

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous I understand that must be frustrating. Maybe look into some attachment theory? It really helped me understand my rocd in a more nuanced way

Username: Shauna PichetteShauna Pichette

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I think with OCD, people often feel that there is a "right" way to have OCD. There's truly not! OCD can manifest in anyway that is important or meaningful to the person. Everyone has a unique presentation based on what they value.

Username: Sara AndersonSara Anderson

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

Hello! Thank you so much for your post. ROCD, as other commenters have mentioned, can and often do go both ways. We try our best to define these subtypes how we typically see patterns of thought, but the way we describe them does not necessarily include all the different ways someone can have worries under these subtypes. It sounds like what you are describing can still be defined under ROCD. Also-please remember we do offer ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) Therapy at NOCD. This approach can help you manage these thoughts when they come up and, over time, decrease the distress that comes with them.

Username: StopgaslightingyourselfStopgaslight...

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate! I feel so different from so many of the others who post about their ROCD 100% right there with you

Username: Anonymous<3Anonymous<3

Date posted: 1y ago

So from my experience, when I first started dating my boyfriend almost 4 years ago I did have the “what if ny partner think im attractive” or “what if he is tired of me”. Constantly needing reassurance and needed to be held by him to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere. But now for the past 8 months its reversed. I get what if thoughts about me finding him attractive or if I see a future with him. Im not sure if anyone else has experienced this but I did experience what you are. I guess I experienced both

Username: alyrenz

Date posted: 2y ago

Question ROCD

I’ve seen a few people talking about rocd where they get fears they aren’t attracted to or in love with their partner, I’ve gotten thoughts like this before. However, I also get the opposite where I get afraid my partner isn’t attracted to or in love with me and that they will leave me soon. This leads to a lot of reassurance seeking like asking if they hate me or are sick of me etc. I try really hard to suppress it because I know that can push someone away. I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this or could this be something else like attachment issues?

Relationship OCD

Username: alexisrenata

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

anyone else have ROCD focused on their partner? like worrying their partner is going to leave/cheat or having paranoid thoughts about their partner? a lot of what I see about ROCD has to do with doubting your love for your partner (I've had that in a previous relationship so I know that blows) but just wanted to connect with people whose fears are focused more on their partner's feelings.

Username: clmcstl

Date posted: 22w ago

ROCD about being cheated on?

I always see self doubt in relationship ocd where the person doubts they love their person, but I feel like I more often struggle with believing my person loves me. Is anyone else this way?

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Why is my ROCD different from others?

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