- Date posted
- 2y
I just feel dirty and guilty
Intrusive thoughts ruined me
Intrusive thoughts ruined me
Same here đ I wish I never had them
@cheeseburger puppet Same wanted to do a lot in my life but I feel like it destroyed me mentally and my self esteem
Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Try to remember that thoughts are just thoughts not facts; and they do not define who you are. Often trying to avoid the thoughts makes it worse. Accepting the uncomfortable thoughts/feelings is often more effective. Then try to redirect to doing a new task. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier. ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) therapy has helped me address my OCD. Recovery is possible. Be kind and patient with yourself. If not in therapy, please consider reaching out to the nocd care team for a free consultation.
I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I know I say this on here all the time, but the truth is I cannot say it enough, you are not alone, it will not always feel this way. It can get better. Thoughts, when you have OCD, are ego-dystonic- meaning they go against who you are- against your values, your goals, your true nature. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/feeling-like-a-monster-when-you-have-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-guilt-and-shame-from-ocd
Today has been really hard I feel like I canât even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I canât take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but itâs so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didnât realize? And now reflecting it ???
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
I have intrusive thoughts about pornography with family, friends or even strangers. I really tried to block them out but it seems they always get triggered.l feel extreme guilt and this massive pit in my stomatach that is just there 24/7 and it WONT GO AWAY! I know this may sound weird but my mum knows about this as she noticed something was wrong, but every time I get a thought I always feel the need to tell her i keep thinking that I have done something wrong and that my guilt will go away if i tell BUT IT DOESNâT It just gets worse and another thing pop in and another. ITS A NEVER ENDING CYCLE and it seems like I just canât break free. What do I do? Anyone who has also gone through this how did you recover and get your life back?
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