Does it ever feel like the thing you’re afraid of is unquestionably real? And if you tried to think otherwise it’s just you being in denial? How real can OCD feel? Is there even a limit?
It feels so real I feel like I am gaslighting myself every waking moment I just want it to stop
@jonathanberry73 I’m in the exact same boat
Something I learned in ERP was that all OCD obsessions/fears could theoretically happen. They’re all technically possible. But those of us with OCD see these obsessions as more probable than they actually are. For example, I’m capable as a human being of hurting someone or myself. I could choose to do that, either on purpose or accidentally. However, I have to realize the probability likely isn’t very high of that happening. It’s not impossible, but it likely won’t happen. At least I don’t think it will right now. That’s where uncertainty comes in. I have to accept that my obsession is a real thing that people do and I could even choose to do, but I probably won’t. At least not right now at this moment, because right now I simply don’t want to. I don’t have to ensure myself that it’ll never happen because I can’t predict the future. But I can be present and realize in this moment that I don’t want to engage in my intrusive thoughts. Does that make sense?
Same here
Same.
Same
It feels so real.
Yep, especially with false memories related to that fear. It makes it feel like a realization.
Yep. I’m petrified my son has/will get a specific health issue. Every time something triggers me it feels so real. So real. Accepting uncertainty is so hard when it comes to this issue. It’s at a point where my compulsion really doesn’t help me, it’s actually hurting our relationship and damaging his self image, but I can’t stop myself :( I get so triggered and avoid seeing his skin. How sad is that.
@divyD That’s a toughie. Sorry you have to go through that it’s not your fault at all
I feel so upset right now. Can anyone relate? I keep having this delusional-type thoughts that my mom is out to hurt me. We live together and at night when I’m trying to sleep I get the thought that she is going to come in my bedroom and hurt me. My mom is so kind and loving, she’s my best friend. I know OCD attacks what we love, but I can’t let this go. I try to just reply with a “maybe, maybe not,” but then it comes back full force and says “you’re in denial, they’re brainwashing you to think that way, etc.” and it freaks me out and makes me feel so down. Like it says “your life is in danger, don’t dismiss this!” I keep thinking I’m in psychosis. Like if someone asks me if I truly believe these things, I want to automatically rely “I don’t know.” Because the doubt and realness of the thoughts/feelings deal soo real like I’m convinced of these things. I just feel so lost and confused. It makes me feel sick. I confess all of these things to my mom, which I know is just me seeking reassurance. I try to say to myself if I truly believed she was out to hurt me, I probably wouldn’t even be sharing this with her. But then again my mind always has a rebuttal to bring me back into rumination. I want this to be easier. I want my life back. I have been dealing with ocd for years now and this flare up has been the worst yet. Please, I know I’m seeking reassurance, but can anyone relate to any of this?
Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. They’re still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesn’t help but it’s been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I don’t want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like “What if?” and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror because I get scared that I won’t like what I see. I’ve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I don’t want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I don’t.. It’s just a lot.
That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.
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