@allie05 I hear you and hope you know you’re not alone. If you’re new to the forum, you’ll see a lot of us are here for the same reason and thankfully there are plenty of people to talk to on here about the difficulty of relationship OCD.
I’ve personally been in ERP for my ROCD since August and while I’ve improved a lot, it’s still very tough at times. The last few days have been hard but with skills and hard work it gets easier.
Unfortunately, this isn’t like the flu; it unlikely to get better and pass on its own. The only way to get past the struggles is with treatment. It is very treatable, but it does require it. Left untreated, it can actually progress and get more debilitating, which happened in my case. If you ended your current relationship, you’ll likely get the same doubts and worries in future relationships. The problem isn’t the relationship, it’s the OCD.
I recommend you get into ERP therapy with an OCD expert. Regular talk therapy/ counseling is ineffective for OCD and can actually make it worse. NOCD uses only ERP, which is the best.
There are some ERP workbooks out there for ROCD, which could be very helpful, too. I’ve never looked at one but I think they could be a good option if therapy is not possible due to cost.
Also, NOCD has a great YouTube channel with videos you could watch and gain tips from.
The most important thing is to notice your OCD thoughts-questions, rumination, “What if’s”, ratings, playing out scenarios, considering options, urges to rate and judge, urges to do something to feel better- let the thoughts be present, but not interact with them. It’s hard and takes work, and may be a little easier with some fundamental ERP skills, but the OCD can die down over time. It’s just tough because you have to go through the hard work, not around it. If there was a way to turn it off like a light switch, I’m sure we’d all do anything to flip it.
Always here to talk. I’ll end this novel here, though. =]
