Intrusive thoughts ruining my birthday

I’m really struggling today, my thoughts are so aggressive, they won’t stop. They keep telling me you don’t wanna be with him, and so much more and they are the exact opposite of how I feel. It’s been like this for days and gotten increasingly worse, I just feel so tired of fighting, I feel so alone. I feel so betrayed by my own thoughts and so out of control of my own mind. My birthdays coming up and my partner called to ask me what my ring size was, the minute I got off the phone I burst into tears. I had a very short therapy session this morning as part of a trial run free therapy thing being offered within the UK. The therapist was very kind, although it was only 20 minutes she said it sounds like you are really are struggling with anxiety, depression & intrusive thoughts, for a moment I felt relief. I felt believed, I didn’t feel so alone or like I was going insane. She encouraged me to challenge the thoughts, to hold onto the good things & to not let my negative subconscious thoughts destroy this relationship they on a conscious level I know I very very much want. I know that OCD attacks everything and over the last 7 weeks the spectrum of doubts, questions & thoughts I’ve had have been so broad and intense. But I honestly think this has to be the worst, feeling like your fighting your own mind to be in a relationship you want is a new type of torture. I just feel so defeated today.

Feeling really down. It’s my birthday and my ocd has majorily spiked. It started getting bad on Sunday. Could use some encouragement

I have had a huge increase in Intrusive Thoughts this week. It’s making things super difficult for me, I am on my period but I also think I’m having more intrusive thoughts recently because things are going well for me right now. I just keep waiting for everything to fall apart because my mind makes me believe that I don’t deserve more than one good thing at a time. My mind is in constant fight or flight mode. I cannot stop thinking about every past mistake or how someone may have thought I had bad or malicious intentions when I didn’t. I keep thinking I’m going to get in trouble for something and go to jail, I’m especially scared about work and messing up someone’s check out and getting fired or arrested. I hate feeling this way, there is just so much going on in my head and I’m terrified and stressed all the time.