My HOCD gets so bad in the mornings with thoughts. Last night I kept trying to tell my boyfriend about a problem too and my mind kept saying “tell him your bi or gay!” And it gave me so much anxiety and it was kinda like an urge. I want my attraction back. I don’t trust anything my mind is telling me anymore.

Something that’s helped me is ditching the labels... across the board with all of my ocd. We see everything so very black and white, but everything for everyone is a spectrum. I have had all of those same thoughts and feelings and once I said, hmmm I’m a little bit more of this way on the Kinsey scale, not labeling it bi or gay, it helped me not freak out and become more comfortable with passing thoughts... sexuality is SOOO fluid no matter how straight you are. I have no desire to be with a woman and am happy w my boyfriend, but if I get slightly aroused by a lesbian kissing scene in a movie, I acknowledge that in that moment, something about it was appealing, the taboo of it or the sensuality, who knows but i let the thought pass and later apply that sensation towards the person I love. Hope that helps a bit...

I actually gave into it on Monday and tried to come out to my boyfriend as bi!! He saw right through it, I’ve been at my wits end so I just saw it as a way out of all this pain!! On a plus side he told me that if I was bi it wouldn’t bother him at all

@Laurie my boyfriend said that too. And I told him I’d be bothered with being bi just bc I would have to date girls too and it makes me uncomfortable, and I find tons of girls pretty casually, but when I talk to my friends and get constant weird sensations in my body that feel like attraction idk what to believe.

Me neither @Brookenoel, the idea of being with a girl doesn’t appeal to me at all! I struggle with the sensations too and can’t tell the difference between admiration and attraction anymore it makes me so confused.

We will get thru this together ??

@Outgoingocd ditching labels doesn’t really help for me. Same with the sexuality is fluid thing bc people get me confused with it, I know I can be aroused by same sex scenes bc it’s sex and no matter what I’ll get a sensation, but when I’m actually involved in it I’m super into men and things like that. When I see a super cute guy I used to swoon and I’m able to on my good days , then some days it kinda gets me with just my thoughts and anxieties. I do wish I could just be head over heels for my boyfriend again. Would make thing better

I am with you there! Going through the same things

I feel the same way, you all are not alone!

@Outgoingocd thank you, I know I like men as of now which I couldn’t say months ago even with the anxiety. But my mind always goes to “do I know I’m lesbian now” “what if these are real attractions” etc

@outgoingocd YASSSS! I couldn’t agree more with you on the statement about the Kinsey scale, BUT my ocd still makes me obsess over where I’m at on it & what if it just totally flips ? Now that I’m typing it, it seems silly.

I hear ya... just remember the butterflies are just another type of anxiousness lol your ocd is totally just blocking you right now, once your anxiety calms, you’ll be in a more confident place again. Good luck!