- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Something that’s helped me is ditching the labels... across the board with all of my ocd. We see everything so very black and white, but everything for everyone is a spectrum. I have had all of those same thoughts and feelings and once I said, hmmm I’m a little bit more of this way on the Kinsey scale, not labeling it bi or gay, it helped me not freak out and become more comfortable with passing thoughts... sexuality is SOOO fluid no matter how straight you are. I have no desire to be with a woman and am happy w my boyfriend, but if I get slightly aroused by a lesbian kissing scene in a movie, I acknowledge that in that moment, something about it was appealing, the taboo of it or the sensuality, who knows but i let the thought pass and later apply that sensation towards the person I love. Hope that helps a bit...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I actually gave into it on Monday and tried to come out to my boyfriend as bi!! He saw right through it, I’ve been at my wits end so I just saw it as a way out of all this pain!! On a plus side he told me that if I was bi it wouldn’t bother him at all
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Laurie my boyfriend said that too. And I told him I’d be bothered with being bi just bc I would have to date girls too and it makes me uncomfortable, and I find tons of girls pretty casually, but when I talk to my friends and get constant weird sensations in my body that feel like attraction idk what to believe.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Me neither @Brookenoel, the idea of being with a girl doesn’t appeal to me at all! I struggle with the sensations too and can’t tell the difference between admiration and attraction anymore it makes me so confused.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
We will get thru this together ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Outgoingocd ditching labels doesn’t really help for me. Same with the sexuality is fluid thing bc people get me confused with it, I know I can be aroused by same sex scenes bc it’s sex and no matter what I’ll get a sensation, but when I’m actually involved in it I’m super into men and things like that. When I see a super cute guy I used to swoon and I’m able to on my good days , then some days it kinda gets me with just my thoughts and anxieties. I do wish I could just be head over heels for my boyfriend again. Would make thing better
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am with you there! Going through the same things
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I feel the same way, you all are not alone!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Outgoingocd thank you, I know I like men as of now which I couldn’t say months ago even with the anxiety. But my mind always goes to “do I know I’m lesbian now” “what if these are real attractions” etc
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@outgoingocd YASSSS! I couldn’t agree more with you on the statement about the Kinsey scale, BUT my ocd still makes me obsess over where I’m at on it & what if it just totally flips ? Now that I’m typing it, it seems silly.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I hear ya... just remember the butterflies are just another type of anxiousness lol your ocd is totally just blocking you right now, once your anxiety calms, you’ll be in a more confident place again. Good luck!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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