In the thick of the holidays, we understand what a triggering time this can be for Relationship OCD. It's hard not to notice all those people on social media getting engaged and not ruminate on the "what ifs" and fears of our friends and relationships. I would love to know how your ROCD is doing this time of year? Do you have any tips you've found to be helpful as you prepare for this season?
My ROCD has been bringing up memories of a person from my past, the feelings, memories, associations, thoughts, images and more. Makes it hard to feel like I know myself or what I want or believe. But I love my partner and my goal is to get better and stay present. !
I am sorry to hear that your OCD has been manifesting in this way, Louise! That sounds like it has been difficult and I definitely understand how convincing ROCD can be at making us doubt. I think you have a fantastic mindset in trying to stay present and get better! Are you utilizing ERP techniques?
@Rebecca F - NOCD Member Advocate I’m starting therapy with NOCD in about a week. I’m scared and nervous because I’m not sure if I’ll get a diagnoses or I’ll be able to explain myself properly. But I’m ready and defiantly know I need help !
@Louise b - Congratulations, Louise! This is such an incredible step and I hope you are so proud of yourself! Please know it's very common to feel scared and nervous about getting started; I remember feeling the same way prior to my first session. OCD loves to make us doubt and second-guess, but you are doing the best thing for yourself by attending this session and meeting with an OCD specialist. All our clinicians are very understanding and patient, so take your time explaining your symptoms and know they will lead you in the right direction of a diagnosis!
@ I’m going through something very similar. I think this time of year just makes us think about our lives and what we’ve been through and sure that is bound to stir up some emotions.
@Louise b Me too!
@taylebrun - I completely agree!
ROCD loves to tell folks: “Your family doesn’t love you.” That may or may not be true. Be kind to yourself and set boundaries if needed. Give yourself your own special holiday even if it’s simple like drinking apple cider or hot cocoa or making a nice meal. Take a walk and enjoy the cool air- find a beautiful piece of nature. You got this ❤️🕎🎄🎁🎊🎉🎎🪔🌈❤️
Such a great reminder for all of us, Alessandra!
I’m engaged and getting married in February and so triggered during this holiday season. Scared I’m making a mistake, I don’t love him, I’ve been in denial and lying to myself the entire time. He’s a great guy and I just want to enjoy our first holiday in our new house
@ssierra22 That’s amazing! You can do it!
Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding, ssierra22! I am very sorry to hear how tough OCD is making your first holiday in your new home. That sounds very frustrating! I hope you are able to find relief soon and enjoy yourself! I know ERP was crucial to my recovery from ROCD and especially helpful during my engagement and the beginning of my marriage. Are you currently working with an ERP specialist?
@ I am! Yes. We actually came up with a plan to identify my compulsions today
@ssierra22 - That is fantastic!
@ssierra22 Omg! I totally went through this same thing 5 years ago and my wedding was also in February. I’m sorry that you’re going through this and the heaviness of it all. I wish I would have known it was OCD for me at the time it was happening. I hope you’re able to figure out how to cope and make the most of the holidays. 💚
@bekahw Thank you!!! It’s been a little better these past few days. Eager to get to the wedding day! Lol. I hope you are doing well now :)
I'm finding it really hard to let go and enjoy the holidays like I did as a kid or teen. This time of year is difficult since I'm so far away from my family. On top of missing them, and dealing with the stress of getting everything done for the holidays, living with my trigger, my partner, it has become very tough. It would be amazing to see my partner as a source of comfort and someone to help with the craziness and stress, but instead it's someone I'm constantly worried I don't love, or don't love enough. I'm in ERP treatment and making some progress, but it's been hard and a bit painful. The worries, doubts, and questions are still endless. I'm using my skills and getting through my days okay but it's been tough to find the motivation and the holiday spirit to shop and enjoy the season when ROCD has drained me of energy and peace. I've been trying my best, and that’s all I can do. I'm getting better at consistency with exposures, and trying to cut out rumination, both of which have been huge struggles up until now. I'm trying to keep a good thought and find a genuine smile but ROCD is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Thank you for your vulnerability, Brendan! I am very sorry to hear how OCD is affecting your holiday season. I can relate to how all-consuming ROCD can be and how it keeps our focus away from the love and cheer of the season. I wish there was something I could say that would make this time better for you right away! It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to make strides towards recovery, which is fantastic. The more consistent you can be with completing exposures and resisting compulsions, like rumination, the better you will be in the long run! Keep up the amazing hard work and give yourself plenty of grace in the process!
I'm coping everyday, coupled with my so-ocd and Harm ocd, I'm getting by. I like taking in each moment I get with my family and my favorite person in the world. He has seen the good bad and the ugly of me this last year! Not to reassure myself, but THAT is someone I'm willing to invest in the long-term without a doubt. I will say though, it is disheartening to see all these people getting engaged, while I'm still just gf status lol.
Thank you so much for sharing! It sounds like you are working incredibly hard to take in each moment as it comes and not allow the OCD to rob you of your joy. Have you found ERP to be helpful during those tougher seasons of OCD this past year? I hope you are able to truly enjoy this season with your family and favorite person - you deserve it!
I've been in a loving/committed relationship with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now, but I started to develop ROCD after year 2, specifically because he hasn't proposed me me. I have recurring/daily UITs about my boyfriend being unfaithful. I was able to ignore the ROCD up until Christmas Day 2021, when I had such a severe OCD flare up that I thought I was having an anxiety/panic attack. We were at a small family gathering with his family, watching a football game in the living room. The flare up was triggered when I felt my boyfriend was paying more attention to the dang football game then me, while his brother and soon-to-be wife were cuddling on the couch. I was so anxious that I stormed out of the room and went for a walk, but not before making an ass out of myself and uttering out loud "I don't know how all of you can just sit here and do nothing and watch TV all day!". This one flare triggered so many compulsions, which I now understand made my OCD grow, and grow, and GROW, until my thoughts because so distressing that sought therapy in seer desperation for relief. Fast forward to today. We have a large family gathering at my boyfriend's brother's house with his new wife and her family that I am not dreading because of NOCD & Kim, my therapist. Just last month I was so relieved & filled with joy that my boyfriend's parents chose not to spend Thanksgiving with their new daughter-in-law and their younger son (and opted for a smaller Thanksgiving at their house instead). I still can't believe the turnaround. I still cave to my compulsions daily, but not nearly as much as I use to. I dare to hope that will win by battle with OCD. Thank you Kim & NOCD!
@Aivlissa Keep up the good work
Aivlissa - that is incredible!! Congratulations on all the hard work you have put into your recovery. You are an inspiration!
My ROCD is bringing up past experiences with my ex and making me afraid that my boyfriend now is just like him
I am sorry to hear this! Isn't it so frustrating how OCD can take a great thing and make it terrifying? I remembering struggling with very similar thoughts and obsessions at the start of my last relationship. May I ask, are you currently utilizing ERP therapy?
@ No, I’m not currently
@kmobes - Thank you for letting me know! Would you be interested in learning more about ERP therapy here at NOCD? I would love to assist you in scheduling a free 15 minute informational call! NOCD honestly saved my life through their ERP therapy and it is what led me to work here!
Because I don’t feel excited or lovey around my partner a lot my brain has been trying to tell me that I don’t love him enough or at all. It’s making me afraid of marriage :(( as we are supposed to be engaged soon.
@Anonymous_2 I totally get it I also have ROCD and am getting engaged soon. The holidays are so triggering for me because I feel like the holidays always brings stress on our relationship. But going to continue ERP.
@Anonymous Yeah you have so many expectations
I am sorry to hear that OCD is manifesting this way! I remember times in my life where I was plagued with the same intrusive thoughts. OCD is so convincing and I know how debilitating it can be to sit in those fears and not search for some semblance of reassurance that this is the "right" relationship. It wasn't until I found NOCD that I learned how to properly respond and sit with these thoughts. Have you considered ERP therapy?
I’m really struggling just now with my ROCD. I live in the same city as my boyfriend and we are both from the same hometown so are now back staying with our families. He likes to party a lot with friends at the holidays because they don’t see each other much. I find this hard because I feel neglected and don’t feel like a priority. Now I’m out of routine and staying with my family (which is large) I’m back in a chaotic house and struggling to enjoy my time off.
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. That definitely sounds tough, especially being out of routine and in a chaotic household. OCD loves to take these moments to attack! Have you found anything that has been helpful? Personally, I love the SOS feature in the app when I can feel my OCD spiking!
I'm spending time with my college-aged kids and my girlfriend although doubt creeps in and I start feeling like my kids have moved on with their lives and my girlfriend doesn't really love me or have compassion for what I'm going through. I start catastrophizing and thinking it won't get better... that no one will ever truly care about me or love me as I am. Feeling alone and isolated. Really sad tonight. I'll never be loved even through my brokenness.
@Anonymous5671 I’m sorry to hear that bro
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing these intrusive thoughts and feelings! That sounds so difficult and I hope you know you are not alone. There is a whole community right here, even in this post, who understand what you are experiencing. Our thoughts and well wishes are going your way as you continue to strive towards recovery. OCD is tough, but you are tougher! If you are looking for helpful resources, I would encourage listening to this OCD Stories podcast! https://theocdstories.com/episode/sheva-rajaee-relationship-themed-ocd-218/.
I struggle with many types of O.C.D. including wanting a perfect relationship which does not exist. This causes alot if intrusive thoughts which leads to depression and frustration. I pray everyday to have the strength to manage all aspects of O.C.D. As you all know it gets very tough at times.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Charlie! Yes, I can definitely understand how tough OCD can be, especially when experiencing multiple subtypes. May I ask, are you currently working with an ERP specialist? This is a great way to gather skills and strength to fight and conquer all aspects of OCD!
The O.C.D. causes me to struggle with many of the subsets it has. One be perfectionism. I want my wife to be perfect in every way which is impossible. I pray everyday for the strength to cope with these thoughts.
I am sorry to hear that OCD is manifesting this way, Charlie! One feature that I love to utilize when struggling with Perfectionism OCD (or any OCD subtype really!) is the SOS feature in the app. Are you familiar with this tool?
I'm feeling very triggered at this time of year because this time last year my 11-year relationship came to an end. I didn't recognize until the very end that rocd had been a big part of our relationship and we had both been trying through it. I've been single for a whole year now and haven't even had one person I liked ask me out on a date. I know I'm not unattractive but I feel triggered that with everyone else getting to spend the holidays with a significant other that I'll never find another significant other. I'm not sure if that's part of rocd or whether the idea that I made a mistake in breaking up with my ex because of our OCD was a mistake and I'll never be able to recover from it. I in some senses still feel like I have not.
@Anonymous You can always reach out to them and talk!
I am very sorry to hear how tough this past year, and especially this time of year, have been for you. I can very much relate to what you are experiencing. May I ask, are you currently working with an ERP specialist to navigate your symptoms and intrusive thoughts?
I hadn’t thought about family ROCD until someone said it here- I’m feeling worried about being away from my BF while I’m in a different state with my fam for the holidays, and sad that I’m choosing to not live in this state with my fam because seeing them is so nice and I don’t want to throw away my relationship with them for some boy who maybe I don’t actually love enough. If that ain’t some ROCD…😂 but I’m doing my best to recognize it as such and just not obsess over it. I’ll enjoy the time here and then I’ll get back into a routine of being around him and see what happens!
Thank you so much for your vulnerability! Isn't ROCD so frustrating and sneaky? I think you are handling this situation very well; calling out the OCD and not obsessing over it. I hope you are able to truly enjoy this time with family and I am sending well wishes as you continue to navigate your relationship and ROCD. You can do this!
@Anonymous I just encourage caution with labeling thoughts as OCD or ROCD. This is one of the hidden compulsions I discovered with my therapist. To move forward, it’s much better to accept uncertainty and to not label thoughts or push them away. You want to learn to lean into them, but not engage. I hope you have a great holiday! =]
Even though I’m scared of Christmas with my partner and his family I know I can get through it and am cautiously optimistic that I’ll even have fun. And overall the mental break from work will give me more spoons to deal with it.
I love your mindset! I hope you were able to have a lovely Christmas with your partner and his family!
Not sure if this is ROCD, but the fear that I’ll always be alone and that there’s no one for me.
@Rous Don’t believe that lie
While I cannot confirm if this is OCD or not, I want you to know that you are so far from alone in experiencing this thought!
I found out 1 year and 3 days ago that I have OCD! ROCD specifically. It’s been a really tough year of self-discovery and growth but it’s also been really lovely looking back to where I was a year ago and seeing how far I’ve come. ☺️
@KatieKnudsvig This is giving me hope. How do things feel for you now?
@CM95 It’s definitely still a work in progress! I have good days and bad. I did a lot of ERP which prepared me for the big kahuna (in a new relationship now…😬) but I just take it a day at a time and he’s been really wonderful trying to understand and support me with this stuff. Keep putting in the work and trust yourself that it’ll come in handy when you need it to!
@KatieKnudsvig - Incredible! Thank you so much for sharing your story - it sounds like you have put in a ton of work into your recovery and it paying off. Keep up the amazing work!
I’m going through the same thing. I’m having such a troubling relationship with my mom after I started having thoughts about her “touching me”. I went through last year and I’m trying to fight it now. I just hate it.
That sounds extremely tough, Samewise33 and I'm sorry you are experiencing this! Keep up your fight! You are stronger than the OCD and I have every confidence that you can come out victorious. May I ask, are you currently working with an ERP specialist to assist with your ROCD?
My OCD has been manifesting by me having unwanted thoughts about someone who I go to school with. I hardly talk to this guy and yet he floods my mind. I love my partner so much and this has been so hard. I have had so much anxiety
@Ocdgal00 I have a girlfriend who I’m madly in love with and I definitely have rocd. I was totally obsessed with her and thought she was cheating on me. Spoke to a NOCD guy and feel less fearful but still there’s always that doubt with ocd some days it drives me crazy and others not so much but I realize I’m insecure with her and have pretty bad jealousy
@Anonymous Same for me! I have this very ROCD fear/obsessive thoughts that my boyfriend is cheating on me. It sucks, but ERP and the tools on this NOCD app are life changing!
@Ocdgal00 I understand this one. You’re not alone!
That sounds very tough, Ocdgal00; I'm sorry OCD is manifesting in this way! You are definitely so far from alone in this experience. I would highly encourage the SOS feature as a great way to implement ERP!
Mine is spiking right now because my partner and I are both home for break in different states and she hasn’t been texting back as much as I’d want. I’m having intrusive thoughts about breaking up and how I’d hurt her. We’re seeing each other next week though and I’m hoping it’ll go okay.
@MaddyJay My girl is 3000 miles away in London and we can only email at first I thought I loved her more but since I’ve been involved with a NOCD therapist I recognize it as rocd have it pretty bad
I'm sorry to hear that you were experiencing this spike over the holidays. Have you been feeling any better this week? I can definitely relate to the intrusive thoughts that flood when our OCD tells us we aren't hearing from our loves ones "enough" - that was a huge trigger for me as well!
I am having intrusive thoughts, images and urges of someone i have no interest in. i was presenting my final in class when i started having anxiety and noticed a boy in my class looking at me, which triggered me because my brain makes me think that a male looking at me, talking to me, walking past me or accidentally make physical contact or vice versa must mean I have cheated on my amazing boyfriend, who I love dearly. It makes me sick how bad it gets because I would never cheat on my boyfriend I don’t even like interacting with other people it makes me uncomfortable in general because of how much I love my boyfriend I want to respect our relationship with all my heart so it’s very difficult for me having all these horrible images, thoughts and false memory. Lately I’ve been having urges, which I have never had before and it’s freaking me out I do not like it it keeps telling me to search up that dude in my class on Instagram which I don’t want to do at all. I don’t want to do anything with that person. I didn’t even know their name till my final day. I have never spoke to them, and I have never looked at them. I never wanted to be friends with them. I generally have nothing to do with them so it makes me really sick that my brain is twisting my memories saying oh you liked I am looking at you when I really didn’t I was freaking out and begging to God that he would stop looking at me. I’m not sure that he wasn’t even looking at me, but it made me feel like he was, and I felt like I did something completely and utterly wrong. I’m struggling really bad. I have become numb to my boyfriend. And the dude looks very similar to my boyfriend so every time I’m on the phone with my boyfriend or I try to imagine my boyfriend because we are in a long-distance relationship. I see the dude from my class and it makes me so disgusted with myself I feel like a horrible person and my brain tricks me even more being like see you don’t love your boyfriend you’re a horrible person.
@Kiki_shah1382 I can relate to this so much
@Anonymous I am sorry you are going through this too. I wish things could have been different.
Kiki, this sounds like it has been very overwhelming and all-consuming. I am so sorry to hear how OCD is manifesting right now in your life! You are definitely not alone in these thoughts. OCD loves to attach onto what we hold most dear and tear it into shreds with doubt. May I ask, are you currently working with an ERP specialist?
Anytime I get time off my brain gets free time to obsess and ruminate. Its hard to sit with it because you want to enjoy the holidays. I want to be myself again and be happy and confident again. Im ready to start treatment again this week. The holidays used to be an exciting time to enjoy each others company and work on hobbies but the money issues I have now really limit my ability to do hobbies. I hope things get better.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing, Thinker36! I whole-heartedly agree that OCD can make free time some of the worst times, instead of a time to relax and enjoy. I am glad to hear that you will be able to start treatment again this week. I hope that you are able to start feeling better soon and get back to those hobbies you have enjoyed!
This year I noticed that things were better than good while we were with each of our families. I saw how much our families love my partner and how central a figure he is - getting people to laugh, being a huge support to me while I got COVID, basically being an ideal son and partner. And somehow when we come home to our little apartment all my fears come crashing in loud about whether I really love him, if I married him for the one true right reason, if he’s attractive enough, if our connection isn’t natural and automatic as it could be. I try to divert, and I started doing a “worry time” list which is more of an anxiety tactic, but my biggest fear is even if I start up ERP again it won’t last, just as my fears came back after getting married and not doing ERP for a while. I try to flip my thoughts and say, “love is a choice, I chose this, if I chose someone else maybe this would still happen.” But it’s hard to know when my fears are so loud with him right in front of me. I can’t seem to logic my way out. I feel so much shame especially over the attraction piece - since it would make him feel awful if he knew. ERP did help preciously but I’m scared it won’t be permanent
Hi Rocd-friend! I am sorry to hear how ROCD crashed into your mind the moment you returned home from family. How frustrating and overwhelming! I can definitely relate to how difficult it is to listen to anything else when OCD is screaming what it wants. I know you mentioned not being able to logic your way out. I would encourage reading this helpful article which explains why this is true: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-using-logic-to-tackle-ocd-wont-work?utm_source=braze&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=brand_why_logic_doesnt_work_112922. I know that restarting ERP can be scary. I took a break from ERP therapy for almost a year and felt like a failure for returning due to an increase in ROCD symptoms. But, what I learned was that OCD was really the one whispering those lies. The more consistent help we can receive help on our journey, the more we can conquer the OCD!
I can't because we blocked each other after he started dating someone while we were technically broken up but still living together.
@Anonymous Awh, I’m sorry :(
I have rocd and am getting divorced after 35 years of marriage. It would have been really hard but now I have a beautiful girlfriend otherwise really depressing
Thank you so much for your openness in sharing! I am glad to hear you have a wonderful girlfriend to spend this season with and I hope you both enjoy your holidays!
Sometimes I think if we talk about it between us, it keeps us there ?
Hi LaBellaVida99! Do you mind expanding on this? I would love to understand! It sounds like you feel that the more we talk about ROCD, the more it stays in our lives. Is that correct?
I am getting married in January and my OCD has gotten worse after a TBI from a near death car accident. I want this resolved by my wedding. I've been reading Brain Lock. I feel unlovable at times bc of my past. (I was in multiple abusive relationships) this is my first healthy one.
@Kmb1227 I’m so sorry to hear about your accident! But I can totally relate to this. This is my first ever healthy relationship and I’ve questioned it since day one. Doubted whether it’s a good relationship for me or not. I get married in February and in the past few days it’s heightened so much. So just a reminder that you are worthy of love ❤️ no matter what OCD days. And we’ll never know with certainty if this is the right relationship, the right person, if this will certainly work, but we do know that we can choose to love anyway. We can choose to show up and conquer the day despite what our OCD has to say. Wishing you all the best
@ssierra22 Amen
@ssierra22 I have ROCD too which is attacking my wedding and I feel isolated and sad 😔
@ChellyBoo And we can still choose to show up!! No matter what OCD says.
I am so sorry to hear about your car accident and past abusive relationships. Kmb1227, you are obviously an incredible, resilient person and I'm so glad you are part of this community! Please know you as so far from alone! Have you thought about adding ERP into your recovery journey? I know this was incredibly helpful for me prior to my wedding.
@ssierra22 thank you for saying that! The anxiety is definitely debilitating. I used to be stronger than I am now... I'm still fighting every day! Hoping that meds and CBT will help. I lost my memory from my accident and it's hard to distinguish real vs intrusive thoughts.
@Kmb1227 Please be sure to get ERP therapy. EPR is part of CBT but they are not exactly the same. I would look for an ERP therapist who specializes in OCD. NOCD Zoom therapy may be a good option.
@Brendan =] I'd be interested in it asap. This is ruining my life. I have not slept a full night in months
@Kmb1227 - Feel free to set up a free informational call using this link! https://www.treatmyocd.com/ - we would love to share with you more about how ERP can be of help!
I’m fearing that I am intentionally trying to be mean to my boyfriend (even though what I say and do isn’t actually mean from the outside looking in). I’m afraid that it means I’m a bad girlfriend and a mean or abusive person. I love him so much and hate myself for feeling this way.
I am very sorry to hear that you are experiencing these thoughts and fears! It sounds like it has been frustrating, overwhelming, and heartbreaking. Please know you are not alone in this experience! Are you currently working with an ERP specialist? ERP was the best decision I ever made when it came to recovery from ROCD!
I am with my family for the holidays across the country from my partner. Leading up to the trip I was very on edge and clingy so convinced that if everything wasn’t just right in our relationship before I left then that wohld be the end. Now that I’m on my trip, I can’t seem to enjoy my time with my family because I am obsessing about that my partner doesn’t really love me. Or that I’m making him hate me. Or that he’s glad that I’m gone and his life is better without me. I wish I could just enjoy my holidays but all I can do is ruminate and I feel like I need answers and certainty. My partner seems slightly more avoidant so when I seek reassurance I think it is weighing down on our relationship. I fluctuate between the what-if-he-doesnt-love-me obsessions and the he-must-not-be-the-one obsessions on the other end of the spectrum. It’s so hard to be present and feel like an individual.
@carl 🙏🙏🙏
This sounds so difficult, Carl! I'm sorry to hear that this has been your experience and has affected your time with family over the holidays. OCD is so frustrating as it never takes a vacation! Have you been able to implement any ERP exercises on your intrusive "what-if" thoughts? I love the SOS feature when OCD is bombarding my mind.
I have rocd am getting divorced after 35 years of marriage and I have a new love. I don’t miss my ex but I do miss my family and having a new love really helps
Thanks so much for your openness in sharing and congratulations on your new love! I hope you were able to have a lovely holiday together!
We are apart and it hurts. My ex came to my head and I don't notice when I'm ruminating about it. I feel super awful, plus seasonal depression. I think just sitting with it helps but ruminating is the worst thing I do.
@KJacobs3201 Ruminating feels good but is not really helpful it’s hard not to do
I am sorry to hear the OCD is causing you to feel this way! You are so far from alone in this and I appreciate your openness in sharing. I can definitely relate to how ruminating feels like it is helping in the moment, but it actually causes more harm than good. Unfortunately, as good as compulsions can feel in the moment, they are teaching our brain that we need these safety behaviors to function. Have you considered looking into ERP therapy? ERP helps to re-train your brain to sit with the uncertainty and watch your anxiety go down naturally! It is the best way to find recovery for ROCD!
Well I let myself get too deep last night. Tried to act like nothing was wrong but my gf knew. Knew I was lying. She’s not too happy with me right now. She said she was disappointed in me and that stung so hard
@NoRocd1991 You’re not a bad person for the struggles you’re going through.
@brandifleury I still know I could’ve communicated, and I didn’t. And now it’s just worse
@NoRocd1991 Right, I understand that. Everyone makes mistakes!
@brandifleury I’m going to do better. And that’s just that
@NoRocd1991 - Way to go! I love your acknowledgement of how you can improve and determination to communicate more. Struggles and bad OCD days happen; the important thing is to not let them take over and it sounds like you are working very hard to prevent this! Keep up the great work and wonderful mindset!
I’m in the thicc of the holidays
I'm sorry to hear this, Grassy! I hope you are having a better day today!
I’m not doing good. My exposure therapy I am failing at and I feel like I’m not trying hard enough but I’m also going through a medication change and I’m doubting if it was the right choice. I feel crazy and just want my ex this holiday season
Bethany, I am very sorry to hear that you are not doing well. Have you been in contact with your clinician regarding your medication change and struggle with ERP? I know they would love to be of help! You are certainly not alone in this!
Hearing about everyone’s pregnancies, babies being born, and my own negative pregnancy tests, has been very difficult for me. It is messing with my mood and already terrible self-esteem/worth quite badly, and my husband is beyond irritated with me. It is all fueling my ROCD terribly because I’m constantly worried he is mad at me or irritated with something I have said or done and I am overreacting from any non-positive emotion from him. I have a hard time getting out of an upset mood when I get in one and that only worsens the issue more.
@Anonymous It’s not your fault
My heart breaks with yours over your fertility journey and how OCD is causing additional pain during this time. Thank you so much for your openness in sharing. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this time less difficult for you! Please know you are not alone!
@ Thanks, I appreciate the support so very much <3
Hi all - so over a period of nearly eight years, I have experienced intense ROCD (relationship OCD) with my partner. Last week we got engaged, this wasn't a huge surprise as we were talking about it for months in advance. My intrusive thoughts tend to flare up really badly in times of change, even positive change. When we graduated university, when we moved to our flat, and when I started my job are all times I've had flare ups so the fact that I'm having another flare up now shouldn't have come as a shock - but I'm finding it so hard to cope with. The night of our engagement, after about five mins of initial anxiety from the shock, I was on cloud nine and couldn't wait to tell friends and family and begin planning our wedding. However, the next day, the rumination began. "Have I made a terrible mistake, do I really love him, am I just settling, everyone is so happy for us but I'm faking my emotions, if we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together I should be happy, not anxious, etc." this has totally ruined our first week of what should be the happiest time of our lives. There are zero red flags in our relationship, in fact, the night before we got engaged I remember thinking to myself that I had honestly never been happier. I'm super lucky in that my partner knows about my anxiety, is so thoughtful, and has been constantly reassuring me that all will be well, we've been here before countless times and have always come through. My parents and best friends have also been super supportive as they know what my triggers are, and I've had some lovely messages from them. I'm looking for good coping mechanisms for how to deal with the thoughts and stop putting pressure on myself, as I'm currently stuck in that horrid cycle of endless reassurance and spikes and it's doing me no good at all. Can anyone who has ever been in a similar situation help? X
Discovering and struggling with my ROCD during my engagement has been the worst time of my life. Worrying incessantly about my fiancé and our future has made me miserable and I’ve become quite hopeless. I also feel so much pressure for everything to be perfect and to make the absolute most of my wedding/honeymoon/etc whatever it is that it’s debilitating. It has been causing a lot of passive suicidal thoughts not wanting to suffer this anymore.
I’ve recently been having a lot of distress about my relationship and things surrounding it due to OCD. I was wondering if you have OCD, how does it present itself in your relationship(s) (thoughts, feelings, urges, images, etc)?
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