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I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated. Mental compulsions can be so tricky, and I definitely understand the confusion around how to stop ruminating. It took me a bit to figure out the difference between “sitting with” the anxiety and ruminating, too. For me it was helpful to understand that sitting with the anxiety doesn’t mean going back and forth with the thoughts or answering OCD’s questions. It just means you acknowledge the anxiety is there: “ok I had this thought, thanks OCD *sarcasm*” and let it pass with time rather than urgently trying to make it go away with compulsions. This sounds like a great question to check in with your therapist about. It’s super common for anxiety to rise before it levels out as part of ERP, so they should be able to talk through it with you! I went through it, too. Last thing I’ll say is that ERP does take time, practice and patience. It’s ok if it doesn’t feel pleasant or natural right now. Stick with it and try to see the process through. The goal isn’t to do recovery perfectly, it’s to gain new tools to practice as a lifestyle. You’ve got this!

Hi! It’s normal for OCD to get worse when you’re starting ERP. It was very overwhelming for me in the beginning but I’ve stuck with it for about 3-4 months now and it’s sooooo much better now. Don’t give in to the compulsions and hang it there!! Good luck!

Following , I just started erp

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