First time posting and just feel like sharing my experience with OCD because apart from my boyfriend no one in my life really knows I deal with this! From the youngest age I can remember having this horrible feeling of just uncomfortableness that would come and go and I'd label it like 'oh here's that really uneasy uncomfortable feeling again' but never really knew what it was. I can always remember having occasional distressing thoughts about never seeing my family again and feeling compelled to carry out 'neutralising' actions to feel calm. The first biggest/long lasting obsession that I can remember was being about 10/11 yrs old and panicking about whether I was a lesbian or not, I used to spend my evenings Internet searching, googling checklists, quizzes or 'characteristics' of lesbians ( All of which I know now are really stupid and based on stereotypes, but I was young so), interestingly this obsession went away as I reached the age of about 14, because as I developed my own opinions of the world, I had mates that were gay and I sort of decided that didn't really care if I was a gay or not, I just accepted the uncertainty of the obsession, so the obsession became less frightening (easier said than done tho right!!!!). But then I just began to develop other obsessions about family members being harmed, when they didnt text back, worrying abt if my mom had been hurt at work and feeling the need to ring my dad after school purely because id invented this situation in my head of my dad not coming home. I still have this obsession now, but I'm almost 21 so it's a bit embarrassing calling ur mom up making up some excuse about why you're ringing but infact you're panicking about her welfare. When I got my first boyfriend at 17, we arranged our 2nd date weeks ahead and I cancelled the night before because I had convinced myself he was going to hurt me. By 17 I had developed alot of obsessions about my loved ones being harmed; my boyfriend lives an hour away from me and he used to get public transport home late at night from mine, I used send him with strict instructions to text me often hahahaha, he'd text but I'd still have that awful feeling so I used to walk round in circles on my rug in bedroom a certain amount of times until I knew he was safe. I then developed severe relationship OCD where I'd get intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend cheating on me/finding someone else, I would constantly ask for reassurance, it would provide temporary relief from my anxiety and then the obsession would return (Ive learnt first hand how reassurance is literally your own worst enemy when it comes to OCD). I had no idea I had pure O until this year. 20 years of my life with this and I always thought my behaviour was normal and what everyone else did, even tho I'd spend my time carrying out compulsions constantly like asking for reassuarance or retracing things with my eyes a certain amount of times, picking my skin excissively (dermatilliomania - can't spell lol) and saying phrases over and over in my head. BUT I still had no idea it was ocd? This was definitely due to the stigma of OCD and never knowing it's actually what I've had all my life. I still have obsessions now obviously, mostly harm OCD but I'm lucky, I feel like I've made massive progress already and there's some great things I've learnt - seriously if anyone ever ever wants to know or talk! Not here to provide reassurance just a listening ear and maybe give some support/ points on what's helped me so far! THANK U for listening!!!! :-) hope u all have a nice day