I know for me, the holiday season was really hard when I was in the depths of OCD. I felt I didn't deserve to enjoy it because my thoughts were making me feel like a bad person. All the happiness and "cheer" made it even worse! I never felt like I was in the present moment when I was with family or friends, because the thoughts were so loud. How's everyone feeling after this weekend?
Mixed feelings. I’m glad that it’s over but sorry too.
Frankly, I kinda had an epiphany of sorts. P-OCD feels a lot more manageable, I feel a little better. Will be some bad days, but - Hey. One day at a time. 😌
Thanks for asking. Holidays were great. But have had a lot of issues second guessing whether my partner likes me or not or whether the relationship is right. Idk if it’s OCD or not, but just a lot of rumination & general insecurity about everything. I’ve felt some general anxiety, like maybe something bad is around the corner. Other times I’ve felt depressed even though all is good & can’t understand why I’m down. Peace to everyone; hope all feel worthy & get well.
Some intense, difficult moments but also some that were beautiful. If you value the holidays and really want to enjoy them and try to connect is it common for OCD to target them? I’m new to the diagnosis but I feel like this happened somewhat this year.
@GoTowardsIt Yes. Anytime there is something to enjoy or celebrate OCD goes into overdrive with intrusive thoughts, contamination, or making you feel unworthy—at least in my experience.
Yes! Absolutely. OCD loves to attach to the things we most cherish. It's so unfortunate.
@SyrUniv Makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
Exhausted!!! I feel the exact same way!
I had anxiety the whole weekend. My contamination ocd was out of hand. Fought w family over it. They made fun of me for wearing a mask and my hands being bloody from over washing. I’m very down
@Anonymous hang in there it gets better
I'm so sorry to hear this. You are not alone! We are all here for you, and understand the intense struggle. You do the best you can, and that is all you can do!
I had a hard time being present and enjoying the season, which is my favorite time of year. But I also worked through a trigger that I wouldn’t have been able to before I started ERP.
I did my best to engage and FOCUS, but it’s so hard when you have “venom “ piping in and out of your head. That’s what I call OCD. It’s just like the movie. He’s never invited and just seems to always be in and out!!! Anyone feel that way?
I had some joyful moments but unfortunately they didn’t last very long thanks to anxiety
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Get some rest! There is an expectation that it all has to be joyful - but that isn't reality, and you're always doing the best you can. Do you think there's anything you could have done for it to be more enjoyable? I like to look back and reflect to see what opportunities there may have been. In the depths of OCD, I know it can feel impossible.
Exhausted
Going back to work sucked ass lol rough
Was scared of ruining everything 😪
Good and relaxed
Hi since boxing day I've had an intense emotional hangover.Nervous System Overload. I'm now in recovery Mode & looking forward to equilibrium returning. I'm planning a walk in April to The Camino de Santiago in Spain so I'll be kept busy. Cheers Mark😊
@Bullet67 That sounds really cool
Really down and depressed
I'm sorry to hear this! You are not alone, and we all understand. You can get through this!
I have felt like maybe I don’t deserve to enjoy stuff as well
It's not a good feeling. I'm sorry you experience that as well. It is not true! OCD wants you to make decisions out of fear, versus your values. The more you can push for those values, the more you're staying true to yourself, and challenging OCD - it's like an exposure in itself! If OCD says I shouldn't go to the movies, I'm gonna go!
I'm wondering if this is a common OCD experience: does anyone else find that when you have idle time, your mind just spirals into endless rumination on negative "what ifs" & intrusive thoughts? It's been happening to me for the past three years, which coincides with starting a really high-stress job. Weekends used to be my time to relax, but now I dread weekends...I only feel relief when I'm sleeping because it's the only time my mind seems to quiet down. It's honestly so depressing to lose that enjoyment. Does anyone else relate to this, and if so, what helps you cope?
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
Just came out of an 8 day dive with severe real event ocd and tonight I had a lot of peace. Is it normal to worry about going back? I just hope the feelings are residual from here on out and not as severe as they were. For a couple days there I was in pure dread. Anyone who can relate? Coming out of a really dark cycle?
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