I just wish I’d never entertained the first ever intrusive thought I had like maybe I wouldn’t have spiraled so far for so long. it’s always on and off every moment of the day like I’m actually gonna be suffering for the rest of my life
You are not alone. I feel like this too, but if it wasnt one thought, it may have been another. I feel like im constantly thinking or ruminating. We will not always be like this though. Things will get better. Keep your head up
It’s sounds like you are beating yourself up right now and I want to remind you to show yourself some compassion. You didn’t choose to have OCD but you are choosing to get better and you should be so proud of that. There is so much hope, recovery is real! Keep working hard doing ERPs and meeting with a therapist. Also this app has so many great extra features like the SOS button and also NOCD hosts support groups. If you have any questions let me know!
@EmilyCruce Thank you so much. I do think I tend to beat myself up a bunch and think that I’ve chosen this for me. When that isn’t the case at all, I can’t help it. However, I do beat myself up because I think I can try harder to not do the compulsions and all but I’m too scared.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Like Emily said, you didn’t choose OCD, but there is absolutely a new way forward. Beating ourselves up about the past only keeps us stuck in the present—it doesn’t have to be this way forever. OCD wants us to believe that we can’t do anything about it and we will never get better, but as someone who once thought that, I can say recovery is definitely possible. That’s the good news — OCD is super responsive to treatment. Do you have access to ERP treatment? If you are interested in exploring your options you can always schedule a call with NOCD’s care team. Hang in there and know you’re not alone. 💜
Thank you so much, y’all are truly awesome love what y’all got going on here!!
Sounds like a very hypothetical thought to put energy into
I feel you, a long time ago when I didn’t know what ocd was I struggled with it. I was able to stop myself then, but it soon came back and now I can’t stop at all. I wish I could just stop it all as well!
I actually do not have access to ERP treatment. I would love to explore options though, it can be difficult though to get a whole bunch of treatment financially. I’m a college student so money for me is tight😅. I also have known that exposure therapy is a really good therapy when it comes to OCD. I am just to scared to try it, I always have this thought that my thoughts will take over or something. I then will get a lot of anxiety just even thinking about doing the therapy.
@stacie:) I hear you, I was also really nervous and thought it wouldn’t work for me or would be too overwhelming at first. That’s super normal and common! A good therapist would make sure that the process is challenging but still manageable. And re: money, also heard. If you have insurance it might cover treatment, NOCD does accept a lot of insurances. Here’s some more info in case you want to learn more ☺️ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/journey-through-erp-for-ocd
I’m starting to believe an intrusive thought as a memory and I can’t live with the thought that I might’ve done it ): I know I haven’t but I’m scared I’m going to full on believe I did and ruin my life because of it. No matter how much I tell myself I haven’t I don’t believe it and it feels like my life is over
Does anyone sometimes just sit and wonder how they could even have such thoughts? What could possibly have happened to make you start thinking like this, to make you genuinely fear that you are sick in the head even though you never felt or thought this way prior. Sometimes I wonder what I could have done differently in the past to have prevented this, how much better my life would be without it. My mind has successfully ruined days that I know would've been good. I can't look forward to anything anymore because I know it will be ruined
So I’ve been having the same intrusive thoughts since Christmas there’s been some time when it pops up and I say that I’m not that person and I would never do that and I carry on my day which I call a good time but then there’s some bad times when it just sticks in my head and I feel bad inside and guilty and hate myself for thinking of this and idk if it’s me or ocd and whenever say I’m watching a movie or something has my attention then whatever I was doing ends then my mind immediately goes to that thought as if I’m trying to think about it which I don’t want to or that that’s the only thing i can think about. And I worry that this thought will be in my head until I die
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